Breaking Behavioural Cycles

Vintage199
Vintage199 Posts: 2 Member
edited November 23 in Health and Weight Loss
I’m so fed up of this habitual journey of eating and drinking too much and then feeling mentally terrible, guilt, anxiety and depression.

I know this is really tragic but I seem to go through this cycle every day of eating too much and then telling myself that I’m not going to do it again. When I go out to the pub I end up drinking to excess and then telling myself never again, sooo sad! I feel so disappointed with myself that I can’t control my own actions.

I’m finding it so hard to break the cycle and get back onto an even keel. The fact that I’m taking anti-depressants may not help but I don’t think it’s the sole factor as my behaviour was like this before taking them. I desperately need help but I’m not sure where to turn…..I’m not convinced about weight loss groups, weight watchers etc.., just need to talk and have support. Sorry for the ramble, need to get things off my chest. P

Replies

  • kakaovanilya
    kakaovanilya Posts: 647 Member
    You're describing me. I say to myself i won't eat too much today but i always end up eating a lot at the end of the day. If i am outside, i drink, too. This has been going on like this since the beginning of september. I joined here few weeks ago hoping i could get motivated but unfortunately nothing changed. Maybe we should see a therapist or something, i am not sure. How old are you? What's your weight? How much do you want to lose? You can message me if you want.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,744 Member
    Breaking patterns and establishing new habits IS hard. It takes consistency and repetition and remembering to NOT go backwards if you slip up, because you will. We all do.

    Try reading "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. I found it very helpful in learning the process of changing habits.
  • Vintage199
    Vintage199 Posts: 2 Member
    Thank you.
  • sdancer2017
    sdancer2017 Posts: 178 Member
    I'm also realizing a week before my period I shove my face. Gotta figure out a way to stop that rather than fall & continue to roll downhill the entire week.
    Hang in there, we'll get there because we want it!
  • gearhead426hemi
    gearhead426hemi Posts: 919 Member
    It takes 21 days to get rid of an old habit but takes 66 days to form a new one so it is a lot harder to form a new healthy habit. Find what helps motivate you and focus on that on the days you are struggling. Find ways to workout that you enjoy because if you are having fun it wont feel like working out. Always change up your workouts to keep things new and fresh. Try joining lots of different groups and try activities you probably have never thought of doing. Biking, hiking, kayaking, yoga try it all.

    Now I am not a doctor but I have a few friends that were on different medications and sometimes the side effects of the pills were worse than the original symptoms. They found more natural ways to counteract their symptoms and have never felt better and never looked back. Look into more holistic healing. Best of luck in whatever you do!
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,522 Member
    I have a few bad habits that drive me crazy as well. I have found no sure-fire way to change, but I do have a few suggestions.

    First: Do a self-intervention. Find a quiet time and talk to yourself about your bad habit. What do you like about it? Now think about the negatives. (You need to go much deeper than "it makes me fat.") What could be enabled if you gave this habit up? Now, think about what you could replace this habit with. (e.g., if you are currently spending 3 hours at the pub every night, where will you be instead? Skydiving, perhaps?) Can you find friends who would do this other activity with you?

    Once you have this all worked out and documented in a way that you can read over it any time you need reassurance, then pick a date, and on that date, start your new life. It really helps if you can enlist a friend.

    Best of luck!
  • marygraci999
    marygraci999 Posts: 1,917 Member
    Vintage199 wrote: »
    I’m so fed up of this habitual journey of eating and drinking too much and then feeling mentally terrible, guilt, anxiety and depression.

    I know this is really tragic but I seem to go through this cycle every day of eating too much and then telling myself that I’m not going to do it again. When I go out to the pub I end up drinking to excess and then telling myself never again, sooo sad! I feel so disappointed with myself that I can’t control my own actions.

    I’m finding it so hard to break the cycle and get back onto an even keel. The fact that I’m taking anti-depressants may not help but I don’t think it’s the sole factor as my behaviour was like this before taking them. I desperately need help but I’m not sure where to turn…..I’m not convinced about weight loss groups, weight watchers etc.., just need to talk and have support. Sorry for the ramble, need to get things off my chest. P

    I used to drink to much when I was in a socila setting so I quit all together and I started working out.. Its been 3 months and I dont miss it at all.. Maybe you should do the same instead of going to the pub hit the gym..
  • So I have recently developed what I think is a compulsion around this topic. I have been in a self caused plateau for months which can be totally attributed to me grazing after closing my food log on MFP. Its like I cannot self talk LOUD enough to listen ....so frustrating. I want this so badly and yet....I have developed this thing at night...I was never a night eater before really....trying to work my way out of it by developing some other new habits...like a 16:8 fast I read about...slow going but trying
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    It is really hard to drink much and keep calories in the guidelines....not impossible but it's tough. First there is the calories up front, next is the lowered ability to stick to healthy eating.

    If going to the pub and just having a drink is not working out you may have to consider if you should go to the pub at all. At least temporarily.
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    Another important psychological understanding is that changing habits means replacing one pattern with another, rewards and patience. Changing is hard and it is ok for it to be hard.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    2 thoughts:
    1) is your calorie goal appropriate? When I eat 200-300 calories too low, I'm ok for a couple days if I'm extremely careful to hit my macros, but eventually I'm gonna binge. It's really important that you are getting enough calories on average to avert binges. An appropriate rate of loss depends on how much you have to lose. What is your goal?
    2) are you trying to change too many behaviors at once? I'm a huge believer that small things done consistently make the biggest changes in life.
  • eshick11
    eshick11 Posts: 1 Member
    So many people go through the same experiences including myself. I could find any excuse to gorge on junk food day or night. Drinking? Forget it. 1 becomes 4 becomes 7. I'm working on both issues now and am having small successes, which is huge for me. It is behavior modification as mentioned above. Idk the answer for anyone. I barely know it for myself. I do know this, it's possible to change your ways. Work one meal at a time, one social event at a time, and absolutely make a goal. Best of luck.
  • Shellz31
    Shellz31 Posts: 214 Member
    I was on a few antidepressants over the years, and while they were instrumental in helping my depression, nothing changed my life like therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped me deal with exactly what you describe, breaking behavioural cycles. Stopping those dark ruminations. I highly suggest trying it. You can focus on depression or weight loss or both. I quit smoking while working on my depression and it was a great success.

    Some of the things I learned that helped me (everyone is different) the most were

    1. When you feel guilty, anxious, or depressed, write down the specific thoughts that go through your mind. Be specific. Then evaluate them. Come up with reasons it's true or not true and write them down. Often our judgements of ourselves are more false than true. Then, come up with alternative thoughts that are true and write that down. It takes time to change your thought patterns but it can be done.

    2. When it comes to changing a specific behavior, it's very hard to do it in the moment. I try to think of something that might help. Say eating a planned meal and waiting 60 min before eating anything else. Think about the plan often before the time comes to implement it, then see how it goes and tweak the plan. Maybe I need to do something relaxing during that 60 min, for example, so I plan that next time. Or maybe I'm eating too fast and want to slow down. Maybe setting the table and cleaning up right after eating helps.

    Understand that thoughts and behaviors are linked. Changing one can change the other. Pick a couple strategies, try them out, then revisit them and see if they were helpful. Keep what's helpful and dump what's not. For example, I learned that delaying a behavior, like smoking, is much easier for me mentally then telling myself i can't do it. I will never say I won't smoke again, even though it's been years. I just say not right now. I find the same strategy helps with food. I might order a pizza, but not right now. One strategy I dumped is rewards because they just don't help me.

    Sorry for the long comment. I used to live in negative behavioral cycles and while I know therapy isn't for everyone, but it absolutely changed my life.
  • ryanpatt84
    ryanpatt84 Posts: 13 Member
    I'm convinced it's an addiction and not a habit. I can't seem to find a way out no matter how much I try. After trying to diet for the last 10 years it has never worked. I always end up giving up and eating crap. It leads to depression and anxiety but I never do anything about it and continue to feed my face.

    I had a diabetes scare a couple of months back and that didn't change a thing. I can't say no :-(
  • kimcalica
    kimcalica Posts: 525 Member
    I'm also realizing a week before my period I shove my face. Gotta figure out a way to stop that rather than fall & continue to roll downhill the entire week.
    Hang in there, we'll get there because we want it!

    This is my problem.

    OP.. i know when i get around alcohol and food I shouldn’t have, it’s a recipe for disaster. If I know I’m not strong enough yet, or not in a place where I want to take the risk, then I don’t put myself there. I don’t drink, and sometimes I do isolate myself from social situations if they aren’t major holidays or birthdays etc.. I have had to put major restrictions on myself where drinking is concerned.

    When I lose control, it’s usually pms. I’m dreading menopause lmao!!!
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