Breaking Behavioural Cycles

Breaking patterns and establishing new habits IS hard. It takes consistency and repetition and remembering to NOT go backwards if you slip up, because you will. We all do.

Try reading "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. I found it very helpful in learning the process of changing habits.

I'm also realizing a week before my period I shove my face. Gotta figure out a way to stop that rather than fall & continue to roll downhill the entire week.
Hang in there, we'll get there because we want it!

I have a few bad habits that drive me crazy as well. I have found no sure-fire way to change, but I do have a few suggestions.

First: Do a self-intervention. Find a quiet time and talk to yourself about your bad habit. What do you like about it? Now think about the negatives. (You need to go much deeper than "it makes me fat.") What could be enabled if you gave this habit up? Now, think about what you could replace this habit with. (e.g., if you are currently spending 3 hours at the pub every night, where will you be instead? Skydiving, perhaps?) Can you find friends who would do this other activity with you?

Once you have this all worked out and documented in a way that you can read over it any time you need reassurance, then pick a date, and on that date, start your new life. It really helps if you can enlist a friend.

Best of luck!

So I have recently developed what I think is a compulsion around this topic. I have been in a self caused plateau for months which can be totally attributed to me grazing after closing my food log on MFP. Its like I cannot self talk LOUD enough to listen ....so frustrating. I want this so badly and yet....I have developed this thing at night...I was never a night eater before really....trying to work my way out of it by developing some other new habits...like a 16:8 fast I read about...slow going but trying

Another important psychological understanding is that changing habits means replacing one pattern with another, rewards and patience. Changing is hard and it is ok for it to be hard.

2 thoughts:
1) is your calorie goal appropriate? When I eat 200-300 calories too low, I'm ok for a couple days if I'm extremely careful to hit my macros, but eventually I'm gonna binge. It's really important that you are getting enough calories on average to avert binges. An appropriate rate of loss depends on how much you have to lose. What is your goal?
2) are you trying to change too many behaviors at once? I'm a huge believer that small things done consistently make the biggest changes in life.

I was on a few antidepressants over the years, and while they were instrumental in helping my depression, nothing changed my life like therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped me deal with exactly what you describe, breaking behavioural cycles. Stopping those dark ruminations. I highly suggest trying it. You can focus on depression or weight loss or both. I quit smoking while working on my depression and it was a great success.

Some of the things I learned that helped me (everyone is different) the most were

1. When you feel guilty, anxious, or depressed, write down the specific thoughts that go through your mind. Be specific. Then evaluate them. Come up with reasons it's true or not true and write them down. Often our judgements of ourselves are more false than true. Then, come up with alternative thoughts that are true and write that down. It takes time to change your thought patterns but it can be done.

2. When it comes to changing a specific behavior, it's very hard to do it in the moment. I try to think of something that might help. Say eating a planned meal and waiting 60 min before eating anything else. Think about the plan often before the time comes to implement it, then see how it goes and tweak the plan. Maybe I need to do something relaxing during that 60 min, for example, so I plan that next time. Or maybe I'm eating too fast and want to slow down. Maybe setting the table and cleaning up right after eating helps.

Understand that thoughts and behaviors are linked. Changing one can change the other. Pick a couple strategies, try them out, then revisit them and see if they were helpful. Keep what's helpful and dump what's not. For example, I learned that delaying a behavior, like smoking, is much easier for me mentally then telling myself i can't do it. I will never say I won't smoke again, even though it's been years. I just say not right now. I find the same strategy helps with food. I might order a pizza, but not right now. One strategy I dumped is rewards because they just don't help me.

Sorry for the long comment. I used to live in negative behavioral cycles and while I know therapy isn't for everyone, but it absolutely changed my life.

sdancer2017 wrote: »

I'm also realizing a week before my period I shove my face. Gotta figure out a way to stop that rather than fall & continue to roll downhill the entire week.
Hang in there, we'll get there because we want it!

This is my problem.

OP.. i know when i get around alcohol and food I shouldn’t have, it’s a recipe for disaster. If I know I’m not strong enough yet, or not in a place where I want to take the risk, then I don’t put myself there. I don’t drink, and sometimes I do isolate myself from social situations if they aren’t major holidays or birthdays etc.. I have had to put major restrictions on myself where drinking is concerned.

When I lose control, it’s usually pms. I’m dreading menopause lmao!!!