I'm starting to lose control. Gaining all of the weight back!

dguerrero5
dguerrero5 Posts: 1 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
Hello everyone,

I'm writing this post because this day officially marks the time I gained 10 pounds from what I was before. I started at ~190 with the target weight of 130. I reached 151 a couple of months ago after 8 months of calorie counting and realized that I didn't have the willpower to reach 130. Thus, I started maintaining..poorly. I have gained 10 pounds over the last month and a half an do not see it stopping any time soon. I stopped logging my calories last week as I've found it depressing to be eating 3k calories and having my weekly digest be so poor all the time. I officially have the same eating habits that I had when I was 190 pounds. If this keeps up, I'll be back there in a few months. I do not work out (and don't think I will any time soon). Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks for listening.

Replies

  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,817 Member
    How old are you and how tall are you?
  • srkbalta
    srkbalta Posts: 11 Member
    It is a tough battle for sure. I am now trying the DASH diet along with this calculator and it keeps me on track better. Planning my daily meals is key for me. And we never give up. Turn the page and start over.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited November 2017
    It sounds to me that you already think that you have no control. If you go back to your old eating habits, of course you will go back to the same weight. But you don't have to do that. Why don't you (want to) stick to the way you were eating when you lost weight? You don't have to work out, but you can, if you want to.

    How tall are you? Maybe 160 pounds is a good weight for you.

    What do you mean by I've found it depressing to be eating 3k calories and having my weekly digest be so poor all the time?
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Sorry OP. You're not alone. I gained 15 lbs back in 4 years because it's SO hard to stick to it without feeling deprived.

    Without exercising though I would have gained 40 back. At least. Absolutely no way I can maintain without being active (I mostly walk though).
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    You just have to start again. I’m here for the third time. I’ve regained twice before. I’m tired of it. I’m at the upper end of maintenance, not at goal weight. I’m just staying here for a few months and practicing maintaining. Been at this weight up and down a few pounds for 4 months.

    Start logging. Really. Then work at getting back to maintenance. Maintain over the holidays. Relearn how to do it. Once you’re back on track, you can go for a deficit. One step at a time. But, YOU have to start. No time like the present. I know you can do this, since you did before.
  • jrwms714
    jrwms714 Posts: 421 Member
    It may help, OP, if you realize there is no goal about this. Yes, there's the ultimate weight range that you would like to be, but then comes maintenance. This is a journey and it's a process and it doesn't have an end game. It is a continuous way of life. And, just like life, it doesn't always go smoothly, and you definitely hit bumps in the road. You have hit one of them, and you may have to ask yourself if you want to go past the bump, or just stare at it. Maintenance doesn't mean it's all over and done ... it means we just continually watch for those bumps and when we reach them, have figured out how to deal with them. And that doesn't mean that our entire lives revolve around that. Eventually, maintenance means we have made a commitment to ourselves and our bodies and we choose to honor that commitment the same way we honor the relationships we value in our lives. That being said, I wish you could find an exercise that works for you ... walking, swimming, biking, whatever. Some people really hate the gym, and you might be one of them. And maybe someone to do it with you. If you could find an exercise that you really like or at least can tolerate, it not only would help with weight loss/maintenance, but would help you improve your mood as well. These endorphins are terrific and long-lasting!!! Keep trying. Don't give up.
  • myfitnesspale3
    myfitnesspale3 Posts: 276 Member
    it makes perfect sense that if you are eating the same as before, and no additional activity, then you will return to a similar weight.

    Many others have said, motivation for change is required. Have you got something to motivate you, other than the goal number? Think about how your family's health is affected by extra weight. Do you want to repeat that health history?

    The other thing is, when you DO change diet, then when you lose the extra weight, you cannot reasonably expect to go back to the old diet, and still keep the extra weight off. That's why some people call it a lifestyle - it's not temporary.

    Is hunger sapping your willpower? That can be managed, by higher proportions of fat and protein.
  • mysteps2beauty
    mysteps2beauty Posts: 493 Member
    Well, I congratulate you! You have opened your eyes to the issue and came here to get advice. Nothing can be done until one admits a problem.

    Food: Now is the time to try something different along with doing what has worked in the past. Yes, log, but also find new foods that you have never tried before. So much interesting things are out there. Make it a challenge to try something new once a month.

    Movement: So many fun ways to move your body. Ballroom dancing, bowling, hiking, surfing, bikeriding, kickboxing....Try things, and if something seems more fun to do than others, make it a habit of doing it. The human body requires movement to be at its best. Walking is what I do and I feel so much better, sleep better and my mode stays positive, AND I get to eat extra calories that I've earned!

    Maintenance is a dance. A chance to try new things, joined with things you have already mastered.

    My story: I lost 45 lbs over 10 years ago on Weight Watchers. On Day One of maintenance, I enjoyed a food that I had totally eliminated during my losing period. That day was a spiral back to accumulating the 45 lbs I had lost, plus gaining an additional 45. I never learned how to incorporate the foods I enjoyed within my daily calories. Also, I never logged. I made dieting a chore, when it really is just enjoying eating without becoming a glutton, a problem we have in the US as we have an abundance of everything, including heart disease and other health ailments.

    I think you have hit a slump but you have not stopped. This too is life. Nobody stays on the mountaintop forever. Life is about lows and highs...both have benefits and drawbacks. Beautiful thing is that you get to choose. Choose you.

  • nndarden
    nndarden Posts: 16 Member
    The only problem with a lifestyle change is you have to do it for the rest of your life.

    But, just because you hit a rough patch is no reason to throw all your progress in the can and swear off trying to make it to your goal. (Notice this post is more for me than you.)

    Best of luck.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    You said it perfectly: You felt you didn't have the willpower. It's not about willpower and it's not about what kind of person you are.

    You can do this. Set up your life so it's easy to get a lot of little exercise all the time. Park further from the door. Take a walk at lunch. Take the stairs. Don't keep snacks around. Look at your food log and pick out the foods that have a lot of calories that you don't care about. For me it was milk and bread and cheese. I eat all of them sometimes - I am not into self-flagellation. But I drink water or tea instead of milk (that saves me a few hundred calories a day). I have tortillas or soup or one slice of bread instead of two slices (another few hundred calories). I have an ounce of cheese instead of several. That and not taking the second or third cookie and taking a small piece of cake instead of a big one keeps me maintaining.

    I have better things to think about than calories, so I set up habits so I don't have to think. It just happens.
  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    Don't know how tall you are but it sounds like you probably don't need as many calories for maintenance as you might have suspected. I have gone through a very similar situation. It took me 2 years to lose 85 pounds and I did not get to my goal of 135. I am at 145 and should be able to maintain on 1550 calories but when I eat that I gain. Here's what I've learned. I have probably ingested more calories than I thought with a taste and bite here and there. Also I probably need to build some muscle. Having lost 85 pounds I am sure some of my muscle mass is gone. I have been eating at 1300 calories for over a year and have been reasonably content there. I can continue that for now. I need to slowly build some muscle and I might get another 100 or so calories. I am so much happier and healthier I am not willing to go back to my pre-MFP weight. I can still have a nice meal a few times a year so it's worth it to watch what I eat the rest of the time. Try to slowly get back on track. Add some kind of activity that you ENJOY. Don't do what everyone else tells you because it worked for them. Take it as slowly as you need to. The main thing is to stop yourself from gaining at this point. Don't panic. Good luck.
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    I feel your pain, I went from 228 lbs. down to 173 lbs. Last week I hit 205 and the new clothes I bought are getting tight. But hey, I know how to do this now. I am down 4 lbs. in two days so here I go again. OP, just do it!
  • KelGen02
    KelGen02 Posts: 668 Member
    edited November 2017
    You already sound like you have given up... you know what you have to do, you have done it before. Weight loss it not easy, it takes effort and hard work and right now you don't sound like you are willing to put that work in. Not judging, believe me that was me for many MANY years, right up to gaining over 60lbs getting to my highest weight ever, you couldn't tell me a thing to make me want to stick to a "diet"... I knew what needed to be done, just no desire to do it... Until a year ago, something in me just clicked and well I am down 72lbs, I did maintenance for a few months, stayed the same give or take 2-3lbs and now I am back at it to lose the remaining 25-30lbs. I guess what I am long winded trying to say is that ONLY YOU can make a change my friend. You want it, you'll do it... no excuses no justifications you will simply just do it! Good luck!
  • sgtx81
    sgtx81 Posts: 466 Member
    edited November 2017
    step 1 - change your self-talk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSaV70YEcxU

    step 2 - act out your new self-talk

    step 3 - repeat along the way as needed
  • spiriteagle99
    spiriteagle99 Posts: 3,737 Member
    Every day is a new day. It's a chance to start over. Every meal is an opportunity to get back and stay on track. Focus on what you can do right now, today, to get yourself back in control. Go for a walk. Eat a double serving of vegetables. Say no to dessert, or maybe just eat half. Take it one day at a time. It does get easier.

    One thing: there is a national registry/study of people who have lost a lot of weight, and kept it off. Most of them include exercise in their lives. Unless a physical issue makes it impossible to exercise, you will improve your chances of staying healthy and keeping weight off if you incorporate it into your daily life.
  • Radamidov
    Radamidov Posts: 7 Member
    I think the hardest part is first admitting that you are backsliding. I am sure that there is probably some emotional eating happening as well. I gained a whopping 5 lbs over Thanksgiving and on Monday I pulled myself up from my bootstraps and eliminated my carbs. doing low carb is the only thing that has every worked for me EVER and I've tried it all. So now I'm back on track, 2 lbs down and understanding that things are going to happen, you are going to have bdays and holidays and times when you just want a bagel and that is okay. It's what you do after. Its knowing and accepting that its about balance and its a process. Sometimes it take a while to figure out your equilibrium in terms of staying on course. My biggest advice is just start. I hate logging, I hate looking at macros, I hate not being to just eat what I want...but I have accepted it and moved on and now just try to find the balance even though I have moments (or many days) of not balanced eating.

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