A Change for ME!!

Options
Hello all! I have had an account for a while now but am getting really fed up and looking for some extra support and motivation. I have spent the last 6 years focusing on my kids and my husband and am realizing that I need to change that. I am realizing that I have lost who I am and am wanting to find myself. I am hoping that by trying to find me time I can also change my weight and be here more for my kids in the future. Anyone have any ideas on how to change what has been your focus for so long?

Replies

  • kimby12
    kimby12 Posts: 10
    Options
    I am not yet a mother but I will be getting marrried soon and I would like to think I wont lose myself...in fact I like to think of it as improving myself... its not so much taking your focus off of the kids and the hubby. You have to think of it as focusing on yourself so that you can be better at focusin on them. Perhaps the easier way to finding your self again is to involve the whole family in your transformation. Women are the necks that turns the head. Its so say... you hold the power in your household now take over and involve them in eating healthier and making family time workouts.....Trust me they may hate at first but they will later love you for it!


    GOOD LUCK!!
  • RREert
    RREert Posts: 3
    Options
    I too also a mother and since my daughter (almost 3) was born, I have not taken time out to really focus on me. I would feel guilty if I wanted to simply go exercise rather than spend time with her. With that being said, I have never really gotten rid of those 'last 10 pounds.' I have now been running (and doing) several other things for myself for the last three months and I feel much better. Better as a person and also better as a mother. My advice would be make one small change at a time. Myabe start by taking simply 30 minutes twice a week to focus on yourself. Slowly increase your time. If you can find a friend to work out with that might be nice as well. Bonus......not only do you get to work out but you also get some girl time!
  • lulupallooza
    lulupallooza Posts: 48 Member
    Options
    I'm not a (biological) mom either. I can tell you what my step-daughter's mom does - which is awesome - she and my stepdaughter go to the gym together. (Stepdaughter is 15) They've been doing this for a couple of years. She loves walking on the treadmill and eliptical to see how far and how long she can go.

    I think they end up motivating each other. My stepdaughter is far from overweight - and hopefully the good habits her mom is helping form will stick with her so that she doesn't end up like me, her mom, her dad...and have to work so hard at it as adults.

    It can still be all about you, but the kids can be included from time to time. :-)
  • fab50G
    fab50G Posts: 384 Member
    Options
    Here is a piece of advice I got that helped me understand why it is important to take care of ME first. I got it from a divorce attorney I once worked for (lol). If you've even flown, then you know that when the flight attendants give out the oxygen mask instructions, they tell you to put yours on first and then put the mask on your child (if you're traveling with a child). The reason for that is so that if something happens, you will be able to breathe and take care of your child. You can't take care of your child if you're passed out from lack of oxygen because you put the child's mask on first. I know it goes against eveything we're taught and/or have learned about being a mom. But.....not only will you reap the benefits of living a healthy, active lifestyle, your whole family will benefit too.

    Best wishes in your journey! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
  • Skmellyg
    Skmellyg Posts: 158 Member
    Options
    Hey, I just put up a quote yesterday that I think you may like: "Life is not about finding yourself, but about creating yourself" Hope this means well for you!

    That being said. I am a mother of 2 and I know for me I have engulfed myself in my kids and have forgotten about me and have only taken care of my basic needs. I think what has helped me is not just setting weight loss goals but other goals as well. Putting them on paper, letting someone know so you can be held accountable. Discovering who you are outside of your children. I do this by involving my children. You can add me to your friends list, I hope that you find this site helpful and the people here as well.
  • wyomom
    wyomom Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    I am trying to include my family. I am the main person that cooks so I do have a lot of control over the food and that has helped a lot. My husband still has his junk that he wants to keep in the house for his "cravings" and for his lunches. Our household eating habits have greatly improved since starting my weightloss journey. My biggest problem is exercise. We are very active to start with, but finding motivation to put other things on hold and workout is my issue. I am trying to include my 8 year old in working out so he can be in shape for wrestling. Even with doing this it seems to get lost somewhere and before we get to workout the day is gone! I have a family of 5 and I am the only one that is overweight and really has to watch what I eat and do.
  • mericksmom
    mericksmom Posts: 222 Member
    Options
    You need to see that when you better you and take care of you that your family will get more benefits from it too. That you will have that non stop energy, that everyone will eat healthier, that your relationships will improve with your husband. You need to build that confidence to help yourself and them and to take small steps to achieve it.

    I been in that rutt and it is hard to get out of the habit of thinking you are the last thing that you need to take care of, because yes there is always time somewhere eventually. It took me 9 years (9 with my husband and 7 with my son) to realize I need to take care of me and that the house, the car, the kid and my husband will be there as I go and that I can still give them that love and care while taking care of me, That I too can have an hour each day to better me, or more.

    Get the kids involved too if need be but do it, you will love you more.
  • Fit4_Life
    Fit4_Life Posts: 828 Member
    Options
    As for us women, we tend to focus on others, and we tend to ourselves last. There should be a time for ourselves. Time to make a "non-guilt" change and have a little time for yourself. When my son was 4+ yrs of age, we always done activities outdoors. It keeps them in shape, as well as I did and wore me out.. lol. We also gained a close bond over the years.
    But, we are here for you for support. "Bring on your game face" and show everyone what you've got! :flowerforyou:
    Add me, if you'd like, and welcome to the club!

    Lori
  • ladydi31
    Options
    I have decided to start something new. If I can write it all down maybe I can stick with it. I'm good at starting a workout process but lose interest in it a month later. I am a mother and a wife and my children are school age now and I have the time and the will to get it done. My goal is to lose 70 lbs in 10 months. Thats 2 lbs a week, I think I can do it. No scratch that I know I can do it. So here I go its day one and it's only going to get better from here.
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
    Options
    I am the Father of two great children. I focused some much of my time & energy on being the best father I could that I neglected my own health and well being.
    When my youngest turned 16 and I started to have more time for my self. I realized that I very few friends and that my weight had ballooned to almost 300 lbs.
    So, I went looking for something to help me get my life back. As it happens at the same time I saw an advertisement for a Capoeria class that was going to start in my area. As I had done some wrestling & karate in my youth I decided to give it a try. I talked my daughter into going with me and I signed us up.
    My daughter hated it and I loved it.
    This was 3 years ago. I am now going to Capoeira 2-3 times a week along with another 2-3 Jeet Kune Do classes per week. In addition I found this web site and I am slowly getting a handle on my eating habits. I am down to 230 lbs with a goal of breaking 200lbs by the end of the year.
    So it is absolutely possible to get your life back and take control of your weight & health.
    Find something that seems interesting and give it a try. Yoga, Pilates, Zumba, Martial Arts or just a regular old gym. Give some thing a try and then adjust as you go along. The more you exercise the better you will feel. As you feel better your energy level will increase.
    Best of luck!
  • bklyngirl71
    bklyngirl71 Posts: 381 Member
    Options
    You'll find the support here. Welcome aboard
  • DakotaCowboyMom
    Options
    I find that the best thing for me to make sure my workout gets done is to do it first thing in the morning no matter what it is. If I put it off 99.99% of the time it doesn't get done. It is the only way I have found to actually stick to it!!
  • cnkan0119
    cnkan0119 Posts: 114 Member
    Options
    I am in the same boat. I have a 3 year old son who has so much energy but mom has absolutely none. I haven't been taking care of me at all since he's been born and I spend my free time being lazy, after eating I don't know how many calories in a day. I realized lately that I do not focus on me and that has brought me down inward and outward. Recommited to getting a healthier me I joined MFP yesterday after starting my weight loss 2 weeks ago. I realized I need to track outside of my head if I wanted to maintain. I am determined to be a healtheir me which will flow into my family. I'm so excited!!!!!!

    I was 188 when I weighed in last Friday but somehow I am back at 191............... I'm hoping that it's water weight. Keeping track of my eating and working out on MFP may be just what I need to get myself in order.