Perfectionism

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Cinnamonie
Cinnamonie Posts: 138
in Motivation and Support
Hey, I am having a huge problem with motivation, and have finally been able to pinpoint what it is. Basically, it comes down to perfectionism. If I won't do it RIGHT I don't want to do it at all. For example, if I feel like time is slipping away and all of a sudden I only have 20 min for the gym, I won't do it, because I can't put the full 40min of pushing myself in. I won't do a little exercise, because to me going to the gym has to be a hard, sweaty, push yourself workout or it doesn't count, it's not worth it. I am having a huge problem getting over the fear of not having a hard enough long enough, REAL, workout that I haven't been going at all! Clearly counter-productive. It feeds itself and makes me lazier and more miserable.

Similarly extends to food-if today's not a good day, it's not a good day ALL DAY. And I end up ruining myself with it.....

Any thoughts?

Replies

  • thetrishwarp
    thetrishwarp Posts: 838 Member
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    I'd rather have a little than none at all! A 20-min workout is a 20-min workout.

    And hey, if you bust out some chocolate and eat healthy the rest of the day, you could burn it off with those 20 mins.

    :)
  • Latoyamary
    Latoyamary Posts: 140
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    First, you have to relax and breathe. I understand perfectionism. It is a hard habit to break. But, it can be broken. Weight loss is a journey. No journey is ever perfect. There are always ups and downs, bumpy road, etc.

    As far as exercising, 5, 10, 15, 20 mins of exercise is better than none. If you do not have more time, commit yourself to the time that you do have. You are still getting your heart rate elevated and being active.

    As far as food, there are going to be good days, bad days, in between days, etc. Instead of focusing on what "bad food" you have eaten, just remember tomorrow is another day. There will another meal, where you can make a different choice. Try to think positive about your choices and move on.

    Focusing on being perfect everyday can and will make your journey stressful. Remember to smile. :flowerforyou:
  • theba2il
    theba2il Posts: 548 Member
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    Hi:flowerforyou: Feel free to friend me. I understand. When I was in therapy I told the psychologist exactly what you said. Basically, you won't do it if you think it won't come out perfect. Not sure how to tell you how to get through this. I can tell that the only thing we can't get back is our time. So you should try and retrain your mind. Try and do some activity anyway and congratulate yourself for doing it! Maybe keep a diary. I believe we can change how we talk to ourselves. Good luck!
  • papastu
    papastu Posts: 737 Member
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    way I see it is if you went to the gym for 20mins a day for 5 days a week, thats 1 hour + 40 mins .

    better than sitting at home.

    like only losing 1lb a week, they all add up

    be more positive

    Stu
  • GladImTall
    GladImTall Posts: 65 Member
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    I've got the same problem.. If I can't do it RIGHT, I don't want to do it at all... I'm learning to take 'small bites' as in- if I can get to the gym and give it everything for the 20 minutes I'm there, I feel much better about myself. 20 minutes spent sweating is better than 20 minutes spent eating.

    I am also a self-sabotager (sp?). If friends want to go out for lunch- why on earth would I order a salad? ugh! Pasta with Alfredo sauce, please! and then- I figure I ruined my lunch- to heck with the rest of the day.

    So- I'm trying to forgive myself for slips like this and get right back on track if I've had a bad meal, etc.

    If you can't make it to the gym- can you go for a quick walk in your neighborhood?

    I'm also gulty of "I forgot a sports bra- guess I can't go work out"... This one's easy... I keep a change of clothes (everything I would need) in my car- just in case I forgot something.

    Those are my two cents- but there's a lot of people out there that feel the same way you do! You can do it! make whatever time you can devote to it count! You owe it to yourself! :)
  • heather3879
    heather3879 Posts: 26 Member
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    I can totally relate! This is one of the major reasons I gained most of my lost weight back in the past. Right now, I'm just trying to take it one step at a time. This morning, I had NO motivation to work out, but I forced myself to take my dog for a 15-minute walk because I know she needs it or she'll be crazy! I just accepted that this would be my exercise for the day. Wouldn't you know, this afternoon I felt a burst of motivation to do a workout from Exercise TV! Much better. I think taking small steps might motivate larger steps - at least it works that way for me! So don't worry about doing things perfectly, just worry about doing SOMETHING.
  • LauraMarie37
    LauraMarie37 Posts: 283 Member
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    I always think, once I've had one good meal or am 10 minutes into my workout, "No one can take that away from me." You know? I could spend the rest of the day...week...year eating crap and never working out, but that can't change that I made that one healthy decision. I did something good for me. I moved my life in a positive direction. Once that's done, I can't go back and change the fact that at one point, I was caring about myself and loving myself enough to take care of my body.

    Then, once I see the *good* as just as "undoable" as I previously saw the *bad*, then it makes me more ok with not being perfect at the good. Every ounce of good food, every step of your workout, is a positive movement in the right direction. Even if you take 20 steps in the wrong direction afterwards, you're still at -19 and not -20. And valuing the good as much as the bad makes me less afraid of "screwing up" the good.
  • theba2il
    theba2il Posts: 548 Member
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    "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." ~Thomas Edison
    Sending you some (((hugs)))
  • njbooklover
    njbooklover Posts: 77 Member
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    I struggle with this too, but I have also found I say it is because I can't be perfect, but I am really just procrastinating because I dont' want to jump in and do what I need to do. (I do this with school work a lot.)
  • Cinnamonie
    Cinnamonie Posts: 138
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    Thank you guys for your advice!!! Especially about considering the good just as solid and unshakeable as the bad......never thought about it that way before! :flowerforyou:

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