100+ to lose - help!

qpastrano
qpastrano Posts: 7 Member
edited November 23 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi everyone - I'm reaching out because I need support to lose 100+lbs. My lowest weight as an adult was about 180 and I felt great, and now I'm about 268 and am in the worst shape of my life. My body aches most of the time, I get winded easily (which sucks since I have a 2.5 year old who loves to be active!), and really need help. I have tried Keto and that wasn't sustainable for me...I like veggies and fruit too much and was always over on my carbs because of eating too many roasted veggies (no joke, I ate too much broccoli!). I tried WW for 4 months and hated it because I did not like the constant tracking of points. I NEED HELP. My hubby isn't very helpful as he enables me to cave into cravings. HOW do I just get my mindset right and DO it? My eating habits are so out of whack...I'm overwhelmed with information and feel stuck/unable to get started. HELP please!

Replies

  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    Do you feel like logging your food is something you could try? What about the tracking of points was unpleasant for you?
  • brittneyalley
    brittneyalley Posts: 274 Member
    You can do it! I've lost 35 pounds so far, and plan to lose about 25 or so more. I use MFP daily. I've tried losing weight before, but always quit. One day I just got fed up and tired of the way I looked. It took a lot to get to that point, but I'm glad it did.

    Losing weight isn't that difficult once you get past the mind games. My mind my say oh I want this or that, but I know my body doesn't NEED it. I try to remember my body doesn't need more calories in a day than it needs. I can always have more food tomorrow.
  • StarryEyed0
    StarryEyed0 Posts: 32 Member
    Hi Im around 200lbs and have a 2.5 year son too! I hear slimming world is pretty good! Maybe going to a class every week for weigh ins would give you the motivation you need. I find logging my calories on here helps loads. I'm not following a specific diet just cutting out unhealthy snacks and eating more veg and less of the processed crap and it seems to be working.
  • taylorro
    taylorro Posts: 9 Member
    edited December 2017
    As far as getting your mindset right, that's up to you, you have to want it. For me it was just being fed up with where I was physically and knowing that I needed to change for many reasons. Everyday is a struggle to stay on track but as long as the good days out weigh the bad then you're okay. I lost 80lbs and then started a new job with a lot more drive time and I sit at a desk all day I ended up gaining some of it back in about a year. That was huge struggle for me, but I was able to get my mindset right and get back on track.

    When it comes to what to eat, focus on clean eating, staying below or at your calorie goals. Don't cut to much because you will binge and take a step backwards. If you like eating something figure out how to fit it in or a healthier alternative. For me, I completely cut fast food out of my diet, stopped drinking my calories, and I rarely eat junk food. I try to cook everything myself instead of frozen meals. This for me allowed me to drop my first 60 lbs before I hit a wall and had to start incorporating exercise. I feel healthier and have more energy than I've had in a long time due to the quality of food that I am eating. I suggest looking at what your TDEE is and figuring out what your calorie intake should be and going from there. log everything you eat and keep track of your weight loss regularly. I weigh myself everyday day but only count Mondays, this allows me to see trends in what I eat and how it effects my body.

    I hope this helps!
  • taylorro
    taylorro Posts: 9 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    qpastrano wrote: »
    HOW do I just get my mindset right and DO it? My eating habits are so out of whack...I'm overwhelmed with information and feel stuck/unable to get started.
    Maybe "weightloss is simple, but not easy" will help you. To lose weight, all you have to do, is to consistently eat less (fewer calories than you burn). This means that you can eat any way you like. But this also means that you have to become more in charge. My hubby enables me to cave into cravings has to stop. Try to figure out if he does this from malice, or to be kind. Keep in mind that if you're "unsure", he might decid it's his duty as a spouse to give you "permission" to eat. If you already have that "permission", given by yourself, your food choices will be totally up to you.

    Exactly! Hold yourself accountable, the only person who can change your current position is you. You have to put in the work and have the mindset that I am going to do this.
  • Goal179
    Goal179 Posts: 314 Member
    Everything that everyone has said here is correct. However, if you mentally are just not ready to do this, none of their advice will matter. You've got to get to the root of what motivates you. You need to get to the root of what is causing this sense of hopelessness. As mentioned above, losing weight physically is not that hard, but fighting your way through it, staying strong, staying dedicated, staying focused, that is very hard and a serious mental game. I would start with a visit to your Doctor. Talk to them about what you are trying to do. Get your blood work done, A1c checked, BP, etc. It's possible that some of the diets you tried in the past just weren't right for your body type. (For example, instead of keto, maybe just lower carb) Once you know all of the medical things going on with you, you can chose the diet that fits best. At it's very simplest, CICO is a great place to start.

    Your 2.5YO is depending on you to be healthy and stay around for a while so you owe it to them to get your head in the game. :) YOU CAN DO THIS! I was EXACTLY where you are about 1 year ago. I even have that sweet well intentioned enabling husband who STILL offers to go out and get me taco bell at 10pm. But fast forward to today and i am about 60 pounds down with only 40 more to go. I may actually go into 2018 weighing under 200 pounds for the first time in almost 20 years. I had to fight through all of the mental challenges, but I came out on top and so can you.

    Please friend me if you would like. I can help keep and eye on you and keep you motivated. Please don't give up. I know you can do this. One year from now, we will laugh at this conversation as you strut around Walmart in your bikini at your ideal body weight.(Sorry, that is totally a fantasy of mine. I want to be so slim and cute that I can wear a bikini to Walmart and feel totally comfortable)
  • Rickster1967
    Rickster1967 Posts: 485 Member
    You might try defining your maintenance calories first and learning to weigh & log those for a while

    develop some good, satisfying eating habits, fill up and learn to control cravings and stop binge eating.

    Once you have done that for a few weeks you would be able to look at your diary and work out smart ways to
    get into deficit without getting too hungry

    By the way listen to Goal179 she really gets it and is a wonderful inspirational friend
  • SolotoCEO
    SolotoCEO Posts: 293 Member
    A bit curious about why you would select MFP where we track calories (vs. points on WW). The only way to truly know how many calories you are eating is to weigh/measure your food - and track it in writing so you don't forget what you ate! With that said, if you are willing to do the work MFP is a great tool. I and many others are proof.
  • qpastrano
    qpastrano Posts: 7 Member
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    Do you feel like logging your food is something you could try? What about the tracking of points was unpleasant for you?

    I feel like logging and tracking is a challenge for me because when I see that I only have, say, 500 calories leftover after lunch (MFP calculated my daily calories at about 1300), then I feel like I've already screwed up and should just throw in the towel. When I did WW, I didn't feel like I was actually learning anything or creating better habits...I'm just overwhelmed.

  • qpastrano
    qpastrano Posts: 7 Member
    SolotoCEO wrote: »
    A bit curious about why you would select MFP where we track calories (vs. points on WW). The only way to truly know how many calories you are eating is to weigh/measure your food - and track it in writing so you don't forget what you ate! With that said, if you are willing to do the work MFP is a great tool. I and many others are proof.

    I have moved over to MFP mostly because there isn't a cost associated with it. The meetings at WW were wonderful, but I wasn't losing weight because I wasn't learning better habits, so the thought of paying for another month was silly to me.
  • BobPulaski
    BobPulaski Posts: 56 Member
    Goal179 wrote: »
    Everything that everyone has said here is correct. However, if you mentally are just not ready to do this, none of their advice will matter. )

    ^This

    That's the best summary I've read and the best advice you can take from this thread. You just have to do it. You want an extra cupcake? Too bad. People are eating bacon around you and you want more but it'll put you over what you're allowed? So sorry. You want to lose weight more, right?

    It's not easy but you just have to do it if you say you want to do it. Yes, there are a billion books about weight loss and all the members on this & other sites but none of that matters. If you're gonna do it, do it.

    You mentioned, "I feel like logging and tracking is a challenge for me because when I see that I only have, say, 500 calories leftover after lunch (MFP calculated my daily calories at about 1300), then I feel like I've already screwed up and should just throw in the towel." You can throw in the towel and eat 5,000 calories or you can try to stay as close as possible to what you have left. Even if you go over 500 a little it's way better than throwing in the towel.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    qpastrano wrote: »
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    Do you feel like logging your food is something you could try? What about the tracking of points was unpleasant for you?

    I feel like logging and tracking is a challenge for me because when I see that I only have, say, 500 calories leftover after lunch (MFP calculated my daily calories at about 1300), then I feel like I've already screwed up and should just throw in the towel. When I did WW, I didn't feel like I was actually learning anything or creating better habits...I'm just overwhelmed.

    Depending on how you split up your day, 500 calories left is actually pretty good! But I get it, the psychological impact of seeing a number that is smaller than what you want can be real.

    Here are some things that helped me:

    Take some time to just log and get the hang of that without worrying too much about hitting your goal. This can help you identify patterns (for me, it was noticing that I was consuming waaaay more on Saturdays than any other day of the week) or figure out "easy" things to cut that you won't miss too much.

    Understand how the calorie goal works. Your goal is to consistently be in a deficit. That doesn't mean that you *have* to be in a deficit each day or that a single day can wipe out your progress. If you told MFP that you wanted to lose 1 pound a week and you got a goal of 1,300 that means your goal is a daily deficit of 500 calories. MFP calculates that -- based on your personal stats and your activity level -- that you would maintain your weight on 1,800 calories a day. That means if you hit 1,300 six days a week and then eat 1,800 on the seventh day, you're still at a deficit of 3,000 calories total for the week. That's almost a pound! So a day that you go over isn't a day that you have to throw in the towel or have lost anything. Even if you ate 2,000 on that seventh day, you're still at a total deficit of 2,800 for the week. Would you lose a little bit slower? Yep, probably. But you're still at a deficit. So there's never a good reason to "throw in the towel" or quit. Your days don't have to be perfect. Even if your goal was 1,300 and you ate 1,500 every day that week -- you'd still be at an overall deficit. Just less of one than you would be at 1,300. Feel free to ask questions about this if you have any -- this was something I *totally* didn't understand when I started. I thought I had to have perfect days in order to see any results. Nope.

    Think about what habits you might want to change, but know you don't *have* to change everything. Yes, you need to be in a deficit. But the pattern of your day is up to you. Like to unwind with a glass of wine some evenings? You can still do that. You just have to account for the calories. Do you like a piece of candy to get you through a tough afternoon at work? You can still do that, just blah blah blah, account for the calories. Is a Friday night date or happy hour important to you? You can still do it. You're also free to decide those things *aren't* worth the calories for you and you can do them less often or completely cut them out. I liked being able to decide what I wanted to keep doing. I didn't *have* to change any habits unless I decided it was worth it.
  • Rickster1967
    Rickster1967 Posts: 485 Member
    Yeah, you may have a lot to lose and therefore want to lose weight quickly

    BUT the amount of calorie restriction to drop 2lbs a week may not be suitable for you which is why I suggest
    you eat your TDEE for a while. If you also start working out you could earn extra calories to eat.

    So let's say your TDEE including workouts comes to 2000 per day, you could eat at that level
    (4 x 500 meals per day, or 4 x 425 cal meals 300 cals for treats and snacks) for a few weeks.

    This would let you develop the cooking, shopping, weighing, logging and other habits you need to
    get control of hunger or cravings. Then you can carefully trim the calories you consume by making smart
    choices (leaner cuts of meat for example) until you are in a big enough deficit to lose weight without feeling deprived
  • davidylin
    davidylin Posts: 228 Member
    So, a willingness to put in the work and hold yourself accountable is a large part of the success of most diets. But you don't necessarily need them to get started.

    Health is a journey. Perhaps you could start by working on reducing your bad habits: eat a little better, be a little more active, etc. The more you achieve here, perhaps the more you will be willing to put in the real work.
  • estherdragonbat
    estherdragonbat Posts: 5,283 Member
    qpastrano wrote: »
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    Do you feel like logging your food is something you could try? What about the tracking of points was unpleasant for you?

    I feel like logging and tracking is a challenge for me because when I see that I only have, say, 500 calories leftover after lunch (MFP calculated my daily calories at about 1300), then I feel like I've already screwed up and should just throw in the towel. When I did WW, I didn't feel like I was actually learning anything or creating better habits...I'm just overwhelmed.

    I hear that. A couple of things that have worked for me:
    • Exercise increases your calorie budget. I eat back 50% of what MFP tells me I burned. This is for 2 reasons: 1) The bakery products and prepared foods I buy aren't in the MFP database and the calories are seldom provided. So, if I'm logging 2 ounces of challah bread from Grodzinski's bakery in Toronto, I'm doing it under the entry for Kroger's challah. Kroger's likely uses a different recipe, so the calories I log aren't likely to be spot-on. They're close enough; if there's a difference, it might be off by about 50 calories, I don't know. But there are a lot of foods like that. By not eating back all my calories, I have a bit of a buffer zone to cover foods that are higher in calories than I thought. 2) A lot of users find that MFP exaggerates the number of calories burned through exercise. Fitness machines aren't necessarily accurate. I don't have a FitBit or heart-rate monitor. So, eating back half also gives me a buffer zone to cover me if I'm not burning off as much as I think
    • Fritattas and stir fries can be filling and low-calorie. What I like to do is saute a whole bunch of veggies in a sauce pan in 1-3 tsp oil (depending on the calories available to me), and then pour three beaten eggs over them. Once the eggs start to set, stick the whole thing under the broiler until the top is browned, then invert onto a plate. Salsa and or sriracha are pretty low calorie if you want condiments. And if you have the calories for it, you can add more stuff like grated potato, cheese, veggie dogs (I'm ovo-lacto vegetarian; that's me. You can add meat, chicken, etc if you'd rather). For stir-fries, if you have a vegetable spiralizer, you can make zucchini or turnip "noodles". I don't, but my local supermarket sells them ready-made. It's still sauteeing other vegetables besides the noodles, with some protein thrown in. And I've found a couple of sauces that run 10-15 calories to the tablespoon (the brand is Ushia, but I'm sure there are others) and use 1/4 cup. Last time I had a bunch of extra calories, so I added a handful of cashews, too.

    I usually do try to exercise before supper, just for peace of mind, knowing I have more to 'play' with.

    Good luck!

    Oh, and my diary is open if you'd like to check it out or send me a friend request. I've dropped 94 lbs in the last 13 months.
  • gabriellejayde
    gabriellejayde Posts: 607 Member
    I started 2017 at around 260 and a size 18/20 jeans. I'm currently 175 and wearing size 10 jeans. I'm 50.
    I have a few bits of advice:
    1. You won't succeed unless you really really want to. I mean, I know you think you do, but it's hard work and something needs to keep you motivated the whole time. It could be an event that you need to attend, a goal you just really really want to get to, or maybe you want to show someone that despite what they think, you CAN do it. Try writing down your list of motivators and look at it frequently.
    2. Just get through one day at a time. It can be overwhelming to think about how far you have to go but if you get through small chunks at a time, like just making it through the day, or the week, or just 10lb increments, it won't feel so overwhelming.
    3. You can still eat your favorite foods if it fits into your calories for the day. For me, if I eat sugar, it seems to just set me off to eat more (like a drug), so I try to stay away from it.
  • msmarievt
    msmarievt Posts: 2 Member
    I almost could had written your post myself. I was down to 197 and felt great. Now I weigh 288. I'm about 5 pounds away from needing a crane to get off the couch. Okay, not really, but that's what it feels like.
    I have a 5 year old who I can keep up with, but it's exhausting and I'm miserable by the end of the day. Walking a long distance kills me...I can't freaking stand it.
    When I lost a bunch of weight the first time (I was at 400 at one point), I had a reason why. When I had a reason why, it made weight loss so much easier. It's not a easy road, but you can do it.
  • qpastrano
    qpastrano Posts: 7 Member
    msmarievt wrote: »
    I almost could had written your post myself. I was down to 197 and felt great. Now I weigh 288. I'm about 5 pounds away from needing a crane to get off the couch. Okay, not really, but that's what it feels like.
    I have a 5 year old who I can keep up with, but it's exhausting and I'm miserable by the end of the day. Walking a long distance kills me...I can't freaking stand it.
    When I lost a bunch of weight the first time (I was at 400 at one point), I had a reason why. When I had a reason why, it made weight loss so much easier. It's not a easy road, but you can do it.

    So here's a question - what was your reason why previously? How did you come to find a reason that motivated you enough to lose "a bunch of weight"? I have SO many "why's"...I wrote down 118 of them, to be exact...but either I don't look at it enough or I don't have one that is big enough to be 100% focused. It's tough!
  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    My heart goes out to you. I was where you are so many years ago. I've lost 105 pounds and I'm 61 years old and it took me 2 years to get to my goal. Why oh why did I wait so long? I couldn't tell you but what worked for me this time was finding things I could live with. Not just do to get skinny quick but to actually do for the rest of my life! Start slow. Find things you like to eat that fit in your calorie goals. Nevermind trying to lose 2 pounds a week. If that is not sustainable for you try 1 pound. You won't get skinny quick but you will get skinny and you will be able to keep it off which is the main thing anyway. Meanwhile you won't feel like chewing on the table legs, lol. Trust me my friend I tried everything. I even had a lapband for a while (what a nightmare that was). This time I decided to eat things I like and over time I got more and more healthy foods into my rotation as I learned there were things I liked that were unexpected. I approached exercise the same way using walking as my exercise method. Read the boards at MFP and let those who have been successful guide you. I have so much gratitude for the ones here who shared their wisdom and put up with my questions and occasional whining. Good luck.
  • dholt8461
    dholt8461 Posts: 16 Member
    Something that I did that really helped me was meet with a nutritionist who helped me make a meal plan. I’m the kind of person who really likes routine so I don’t mind eating the same foods (for the most part) every day because I am seeing results. I too have about 100 more pounds to lose and I’ve lost 26 so far. I’ve got a 5 year old and a 2 year old who I keep looking at and I want them to know a fit mommy. Try to plan out a menu that would stay within your calorie goal. Also, the 1300 seems low. Try setting your goal to 1 pound a week until you get in the habits and then you can make it a little lower over time. When I went from 1300 to 1600 I have seen a lot more improvement
  • jdog022
    jdog022 Posts: 693 Member
    ask yourself every morning if you want to see your daughter grow up or not. that should be all the motivation you need and if not I don't know what else would do it. that's what did it for me as I already grew up without one parent as a result of bad health habits
  • Pepsab
    Pepsab Posts: 169 Member
    I also tried WW before committing to MFP. I just couldnt do WW at all. I am very similar to you. So far i have lost 10kg in 3 months so slow but steady. I would say on average i eat 80% good 20% treats. What i like most about MFP is you learn so much about food. If im having a really crap day and i just want some chocolate then i try eat lower calorie foods at other meals. Every 2 weeks or so ill have one meal that just pushes my calories far over and so be it. That keeps me on track the rest of the time.
  • me0231
    me0231 Posts: 218 Member
    I've been where you are too and like many have said already, at the end of the day you just have to want it bad enough. Weight loss in theory is not hard, eat less than you burn is all that it comes down to. But weight loss in real life is not easy at all. You have to restrict yourself and you have to say no to stuff that you really want. And it sucks, there's no doubt about it.

    I've tried to lose weight countless times. Tried fad diets, crash diets only to yoyo back up and then some every time. I've wasted 20 years doing that. I was miserable and yet I couldn't get my act together. I wish I could tell you what's different now but I decided last April that I'm just going to do it. No dramatic revelation or anything, I just decided and I'm doing it, no matter what. I've lost 40 lbs so far, slow and fairly steadily. I've had hiccups, felt like it's not working, posted in despair, etc but I stuck with it and I'll get the last 15 lbs off too. I'm eating foods I like and yes I do weigh every morsel, it's a pain but it works. I have no doubt about reach my goal. And when I reach it, I will continue to log and I will eat like I do now, just slightly larger portions. I think a large portion of why this works for me is that I don't deprive myself. I eat what I want, but I do plan ahead and fit it in my calorie allowance.
  • theowlbox
    theowlbox Posts: 912 Member
    Typically to begin losing weight you need to know how much you are eating and using (via exercise or basic body function) and you also need to reduce that amount. Absolute basics. So in your initial post you said you quit WW because you didn't want to track. That might be an issue. You somehow have to know what you're doing. If, as it seems from some of your other posts, you're just having overwhelm about the tracking, then it's a skill you can get better at when you're not trying to change a million things at a time. But if you hate tracking, you'll have to find a way to know how much you're eating.
    So if you hate tracking: maybe choose a number for your snacks and meals (3 meals at 400 and 2 snacks at 150 eg.) then make sure what you're eating is 400/150 or less and move on. This works if you're sure you're not going to under eat or if you eat similar things most days. You only will need to know the calorie content of the meal or snack.
    If you don't hate tracking but you're overwhelmed by the million tips and tricks on this website: relax and remember that some guy lost weight eating twinkies (unhealthfully). Start accumulating the skills and habits that are associated with weight loss: adequate sleep (!), stress reduction, logging the food you eat, weighing yourself regularly, etc. Then stack them up as you learn to do them. It is easy to see the number of suggestions as insurmountable and choose to not act. But it's actually possible to put that crap on mute and succeed by honing just a few skills (if they are the right ones). I think you'll find a way and succeed if you'd like to. Take care and best of luck!
  • qpastrano
    qpastrano Posts: 7 Member
    theowlbox wrote: »
    Typically to begin losing weight you need to know how much you are eating and using (via exercise or basic body function) and you also need to reduce that amount. Absolute basics. So in your initial post you said you quit WW because you didn't want to track. That might be an issue. You somehow have to know what you're doing. If, as it seems from some of your other posts, you're just having overwhelm about the tracking, then it's a skill you can get better at when you're not trying to change a million things at a time. But if you hate tracking, you'll have to find a way to know how much you're eating.
    So if you hate tracking: maybe choose a number for your snacks and meals (3 meals at 400 and 2 snacks at 150 eg.) then make sure what you're eating is 400/150 or less and move on. This works if you're sure you're not going to under eat or if you eat similar things most days. You only will need to know the calorie content of the meal or snack.
    If you don't hate tracking but you're overwhelmed by the million tips and tricks on this website: relax and remember that some guy lost weight eating twinkies (unhealthfully). Start accumulating the skills and habits that are associated with weight loss: adequate sleep (!), stress reduction, logging the food you eat, weighing yourself regularly, etc. Then stack them up as you learn to do them. It is easy to see the number of suggestions as insurmountable and choose to not act. But it's actually possible to put that crap on mute and succeed by honing just a few skills (if they are the right ones). I think you'll find a way and succeed if you'd like to. Take care and best of luck!

    I think you hit the nail on the head...I get so overloaded with information that it becomes easier to not act. I also get in the mindset of "I need to do ALL of this right ALL of the time" and then, again, choose not to act. Thank you for the tips!
  • me0231
    me0231 Posts: 218 Member
    Yeah, absolutely go slow. Habit changes take time. When I started I only tried to hit my calorie goal, nothing else. I didn't exercise at all because I wanted to focus on eating. I ate everything but kept it within my goals. You'll probably find over time that you'll automatically eat more veggies and less fries because it just fills you up more. I never made a conscious decision to eat x many servings of veggies and fruit for example.

    After about 3 months, I started a beginner lifting program. I hate cardio and skipped all that too when I started going to the gym. I was in and out in 30min and it seemed very manageable. After few months I started paying attention to my macros, added a step counter and goal and now I even do a cardio class. In the future I want to fix my bedtime routine/screens off/enough sleep/etc. I've read that you shouldn't add more than one new habit per month and if you follow through on half of them, then that's six new healthy habits a year which is amazing. I went slower and have kept them all up.

    Just go slow and don't get overwhelmed with thinking you need to go biggest loser style eat only chicken breasts with lettuce without dressing while joining a gym and spending 2h there every day from now on and if you have one fry you might as well give up. You're in it for the long haul. The extra padding didn't show up overnight and it's not going to disappear overnight either.
  • vnb_208
    vnb_208 Posts: 1,359 Member
    sw: 295 cw:198.5 started aug 16th 2016, just counting my calories on mfp using a food scale to log my food.
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