Successful friendships on MFP
alwaysbloated
Posts: 458 Member
Do you think it has contributed more to your success by having mostly friends on here that have achieved their goal and been through the same struggles you are going through now, or people who share your personal struggles? Does having equal friendships cause a burden or drag you down?
I just saw a thread about making friends with other people that had suffered from eating disorders and it made me feel like seeing that stuff all over my wall would trigger me. Better to post about my own struggles and get feedback from people that have already overcome them, rather than others who are still struggling? what do you think?
What are some of your MFP friendship stories and experiences, now that you have reached your goal?
I just saw a thread about making friends with other people that had suffered from eating disorders and it made me feel like seeing that stuff all over my wall would trigger me. Better to post about my own struggles and get feedback from people that have already overcome them, rather than others who are still struggling? what do you think?
What are some of your MFP friendship stories and experiences, now that you have reached your goal?
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Replies
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Everyone is different but for me I'd have to say I've benefitted greatly from the wisdom of those who have been successful. I trust their experience and being a bit of a loner don't really feel a burning desire to have someone to commiserate with for the struggles.4
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I like all sorts - people who are about my weight and age and trying to lose as much as me, people younger with more or even much more to lose, people who've been successful and are maintaining, people at a phenominal fitness level, and people who are brand new and confused and hurting. Each has a special gift for me, whether it's an aha moment I can relate to, inspiration, challenge, or empathy remembering the desperation of the struggle ... sorry got a little philosophical there ...
But my all means avoid anything triggering, that's legit.2 -
I like having a bit of everything. People who have succeeded have knowledge to pass on, people in the same boat make me feel supported. I really enjoy watching the progress of those who aren't as advanced as me. I find motivation from all sources.
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I think it is important to have friends on here to be able to talk about things you might not be able to discuss with family or IRL friends. Some of my friends here have turned into IRL friends. Years ago I tried to talk with family and SO about my obsession with weight but they just did not understand. Here my friends can lend a sounding board or just support because they DO understand. I don't have 300 friends, just a small group that I follow and who follow me. Some of them are long term maintainers who I learn from, others are my "twins" similar age, weight, height etc, and others are folks who are working hard to lose that I am trying to encourage. It's a sprinkling of all. But honestly the encouragement from my "twin" is probably what helps and has helped me the most.2
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I've met some amazing people on MFP over the years from all walks of life and all ages. Some of those connections has transferred to solid, real-life friendships.
Chatting with others with common interests, similar experiences, sharing recipes etc. is great. I enjoy cheering my buddies on and seeing them progress as well.
However, my desire to get fit, lose weight and keep it off was so strong I believe I would be fine without the support. Plus I'm used to doing things on my own and figuring things out alone for the most part, but I appreciate the support though!6 -
I've always found it interesting the way most people ask for friends. It's usually someone just like them whether moms, working girls, people in their 20's, others with similar "medical" conditions, keto buddies, etc.
Never really understand why. It seems like the blind leading the blind, we're all struggling so let's struggle together.
I've never done friends on MFP because it's just not my thing, but if I did I would hook up with some of the many, many incredible people on here who are already successfully doing what I want to do. They're the ones who know what they're talking about.3 -
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I think in the beginning having friends on here really helped - there's not too many people in the real world who want to hear rants and raves about the weight loss process. It was always a boost during those early months of weight loss to have people praise any weight loss or exercise. Its probably a bit fickle, but I found that always spurred me on.
Plus I also learned loads from the forums - which is probably why I like to contribute here a lot
I'll always be thankful for finding this site because not only did it help me lose weight and keep it off, but I also have MFP friends who I now count as forever friends3
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