Jealous and Worried...

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Hokai, so here's my dilemma and perhaps some of you wonderful people can help me by sharing your own personal experiences and expert knowledge.

I'm frustrated. I started on this website at the same time as a friend of mine and so far, she's lost a little over ten pounds and I've lost...


.....


Pause for suspense...


NADA.

I'm watching what I eat, I'm in the best shape I have EVER been in, and there's an obvious build-up of muscle - I'm toned and it's obvious that the fat has gone and is going away (I've had many comments about it), but I've literally lost NO weight. The scale hasn't moved an ounce.

She's five four with a very small frame and I'm five eight with a medium frame and 165lbs...but I do NOT know why I can't lose weight and she's lost so much.

Am I over reacting? Is it normal to be jealous? I work out (hard for a minimum 60 minutes mix of strength training and running) 5-6 times a week and I'm careful about what I eat. HELP ME I'M GOING CRAZY!

Replies

  • mangirl
    mangirl Posts: 93
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    5-6 times or days?
  • RoanneRed
    RoanneRed Posts: 429 Member
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    Did you want to lose only 'fat' or any kind of 'weight'?

    You seem to have answered your own question noting that you've built muscle and know some of the fat is gone - this is healthier than just seeing the number on the scale go down without realising that the loss may be water, muscle and bone weight.
  • Lets_Do_It
    Lets_Do_It Posts: 202
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    Hmm, well are you watching your caloric intake? She may be eating way less than you. Or your body may be just happy where it is?
  • Stoptheviolins
    Stoptheviolins Posts: 18 Member
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    Try feeding your body more nutrients. Yes, I just said to eat more. Not donuts and stuff, but your body could be conserving it's energy (fat) because of how you're working out. There are a lot of blog/posts on fueling your body on this site, and hopefully a pro can come around and explain what I'm trying to get at...
  • ejmcam
    ejmcam Posts: 533 Member
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    First of all....dont compare yourself to her! You will go crazy! She is a totally different person who is built different than you! Its not quite apples and oranges....but kind of like red apples and green apples!

    Second....forget the scale. Have you lost inches? How much cardio are you doing? If you are trying to lose fat, then try upping the cardio, but stay the same with the strength training.

    Also, what are you eating? You said healthy, but what exactly?
  • ambekat
    ambekat Posts: 9
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    Ok, you mentioned that you have more tone, that could be why the scales haven't budged. Sometimes when you gain muscle, which is a good thing, it actually adds to your weight for a little while. Otherwise, just make sure your are listing everything that goes into your mouth, and that you're burning more calories than you are taking in. Most of all, be patient with yourself. Keep trying. If you have a bad day, start tomorrow with a clean slate, tell yourself you can do this, and dive head first into it again.
  • gnat45
    gnat45 Posts: 833 Member
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    You said you were in the best shape of your life, and that the fat is going away. So what if the scale doesn't register that. You clearly look and feel better. Just keep doing what you've been doing.
  • jwaters1006
    jwaters1006 Posts: 136 Member
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    Welp, If you're noticing you're more toned and you feel better what that evil, sadistic scale is telling you shouldn't matter!

    However, keep in mind what you're saying yourself less fat, more muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat so we can celebrate the scale not inching up!

    Did you take measurements when you started? Bet you'll see the inches melted off and you'll forget all about those pounds!
  • skateboardstef
    skateboardstef Posts: 164 Member
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    That happened to my friend when she first started off. She didn't lose weight because she was gaining muscle. The only way she could tell she was actually losing was by the way her clothes fit and her waist and hip measurements.
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
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    If you're comparing yourself to her... is she doing the same as you? Or is she starving herself?

    My housemate and I started together - she lost 10kg (20-ish lbs) in the first month while I lost about 5kg. She doesn't eat well - hardly at all. Fast forward to 2 months later and she's put back on what she lost and has stopped coming to the gym with me. She still eats terribly, and thinks that it's a good day if she doesn't eat anything (until she binges on the couch on M&Ms or cookies). I'm still eating well, going to the gym regularly, and losing steadily.

    Your friend may not be doing things the same as you, which is why she is getting the results she is.

    From what you've said - you are eating well, exercising regularly and seeing improvements in your muscle tone. I know you want to see numbers go down on the scale, but how about taking a step back and looking at what you've achieved so far? Did you take your measurements (hip, thigh, bicep, chest, waist) before you started? It might be a good time to do this now so that in a month's time you can remeasure if the scale is still holding out on you.
  • njean888
    njean888 Posts: 399 Member
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    I can't tell you why this is happening because it has been happening to me for the last 3 months. But take a look at the pics on my profile. The pics are 2 1/2 months apart. I worked out like crazy and ate well, always within my calorie range but you can see in the photos the changes my body went through. Does it bother me that I have lost 0 on the scale, yes it does, but I'm pretty happy with what I see in the mirror.
  • PANZERIA
    PANZERIA Posts: 471 Member
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    First of all....dont compare yourself to her! You will go crazy! She is a totally different person who is built different than you! Its not quite apples and oranges....but kind of like red apples and green apples!

    I know...it's hard though!!! =( This is where the jealousy kicks in, lol. I still love her and she's one of my best friends but it's like...damn you and your ability to move that scale...
    Second....forget the scale. Have you lost inches? How much cardio are you doing? If you are trying to lose fat, then try upping the cardio, but stay the same with the strength training.

    Also, what are you eating? You said healthy, but what exactly?

    I'm sure I've lost inches. I haven't measured recently, but my clothes are fitting differently.

    I try to do cardio 3-4 times per week. Two of those times are steady half-hour runs, and two of those times are 20 minutes of intervals.

    Well, I'll give you a run-down on my daily meals. I tend to do the same thing everyday (safe food!), but even when I switch it up, it's pretty much the same.

    Breakfast - two eggs and either oatmeal or yogurt if I'm going to have a workout (on a non-workout day, just a slice of toast with some jam and yogurt)
    Lunch - sandwich (anything from half a whole wheat pita with a chicken breast and veggies to a sandwich with natural selections lunchmeat - turkey, ham, or chicken)
    Dinner - Well, if I'm perfectly honest, when I'm living on my own, I eat pretty healthy. Chicken, fish, or turkey is very typical. If with someone else, it's not usually up to me, so I end up eating whatever they make (tacos, pizza...ugh...). When this happens, I make an effort to either get to the gym to burn it off, or go for an extra run.
    Snacks - goldfish crackers (om nom nom), veggies, fruit.

    That's a very typical day for me. I'm kindof OCD so I don't tend to stray away from it if I can help it.
  • randomartisrgirl
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    It sounds like you're replacing muscle with fat.... so that's a good thing. Maybe you're eating too much sodium? But if you can see the difference and your fat is going away, then maybe you should just forget numbers. I can see why you would be jealous, but if you're toning up and looking good, you're making just as much progress as she is, just in a different way.
  • ratkaj
    ratkaj Posts: 166 Member
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    The first time I lost a lot of "weight" the scale didn't move.... but I went from a size 10 to a size 6. Have you taken your measurements?
  • stc74
    stc74 Posts: 297 Member
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    Hey, I'm in a boat like that. I'm eating well and working out and in best shape of the last 15 yrs. Scale basically hasn't moved. I'll go up 2 or3 then down 2 or 3. So nada here also. I've got a friend who is eating similar calories of more junky food than me & she's losing. We joke about it all the time. I need her metabolism & she wants my taste buds. So we are supporting each other even through our differing experiences with weight loss.
    Things have to be changing. I used to be sucking air at a mile at 2-3mph. Today I went 2.5 miles at bursts of 4.5 and breaks of 2.5 to lower heart rate. I could have kept going but I had to be somewhere. So I'm getting more fit, but my pants in the closet still DON'T FIT!! I've spent all summer trying to lose weight, really obsessed about it. No weight lost. But I'm not giving up either. Giving up just isn't an option. I'm darn stubborn! :smile: