why dont you leave a message when requesting?

mrmarius
mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
something i've observed here. many people including myself ask that if you send a friend request you leave a message stating why you want to be friends. with so many people here its easy to lose track of the people you've become somewhat attached to so its helpful seeing a short message that will at least let you know someting about the person. that said i've noticed that i get even more friend requests now that i have that notice about this on my profile and most of them have no message, i often see people on my friends list asking if someone knows this or that person because they sent a request with no message. So why dont you (those of you who dont) send a message with the requests, is it that you dont see on the persons profile a note stating leave a message or what? just curious, and sorta bored.

Replies

  • Noonoo757
    Noonoo757 Posts: 280 Member
    in all honestly i dont because i simply dont feel like it its a weightloss site so i figured people would know why your requesting them either for motivation or support whatever the case but since so many people need a message or a reason i dont do request any more lol no biggy :):drinker:
  • fitniknik
    fitniknik Posts: 713 Member
    I deny requests without messages. I feel the same as you, I would like to have some sort of connection because it makes it more personal... instead of just a weightloss website....
  • scubacat
    scubacat Posts: 346 Member
    I have never requested a friend before because I see that message and I dont know what I would say (other than what is on my profile page, which they can read anyway)
  • Melissajojo3
    Melissajojo3 Posts: 100
    I wonder the same thing. I don't like the fact that I get asked to be friends, yet there is no message on there so it kind of ticks me off when they do that. I atleast want to know how they found me and a little about themselves :)
  • Elleinnz
    Elleinnz Posts: 1,661 Member
    I totally agree - it is not just about supporting everyone that sends you a request - to me it is about people that is intending to follow a healthy lifestyle - have similar goals to me etc .....I have been known to "interview" the people that send me a friend request to make sure we have common goals, and will be a good fit....

    just because I have lost a 100 lbs does not mean that I have all the answers...... I need my friends to care and be supportive of me - just as much as they need me to be there for them..... and frankly if you can not be fussed to introduce yourself and tell me why you want to be my friend I can not see much support from you going forward....
  • benodie
    benodie Posts: 231 Member
    I did that when I first joined (15 days ago) . .mainly because I didnt have the first clue what I was doing!! I sort of thought u just added people that sounded like-minded. I PROMISE to send messages from now on! ;)
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    I chalk it up to curiosity. Like they want to see what happens when they don't have a message attached with a request. Those who do, get the standard forewarning welcome. Those who don't, will be in for a pleasant surprise. Lack of interaction will be given as much attention as a protein fart I crop dust at work.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    something i've observed here. many people including myself ask that if you send a friend request you leave a message stating why you want to be friends. with so many people here its easy to lose track of the people you've become somewhat attached to so its helpful seeing a short message that will at least let you know someting about the person. that said i've noticed that i get even more friend requests now that i have that notice about this on my profile and most of them have no message, i often see people on my friends list asking if someone knows this or that person because they sent a request with no message. So why dont you (those of you who dont) send a message with the requests, is it that you dont see on the persons profile a note stating leave a message or what? just curious, and sorta bored.

    Maybe they fancy you and are too shy to say??! I'm sure they don't mean to bore you :bigsmile:
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    Getting a short note would be nice. I don't want to be requested by "friend collectors". I'd like to know more about the person and possibly what we have in common.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    something i've observed here. many people including myself ask that if you send a friend request you leave a message stating why you want to be friends. with so many people here its easy to lose track of the people you've become somewhat attached to so its helpful seeing a short message that will at least let you know someting about the person. that said i've noticed that i get even more friend requests now that i have that notice about this on my profile and most of them have no message, i often see people on my friends list asking if someone knows this or that person because they sent a request with no message. So why dont you (those of you who dont) send a message with the requests, is it that you dont see on the persons profile a note stating leave a message or what? just curious, and sorta bored.

    Maybe they fancy you and are too shy to say??! I'm sure they don't mean to bore you :bigsmile:

    nah they wouldnt bore me lol i was just saying i was a little bored when i posted the topic.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    At one point, I heard that the iPhone app did not have a way to leave a message when making a friend request. Does anyone know if that is still the case?

    I agree it's better to have a short message saying something, especially for those with completely private profiles. I like to keep myself surrounded by like-minded people....
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    something i've observed here. many people including myself ask that if you send a friend request you leave a message stating why you want to be friends. with so many people here its easy to lose track of the people you've become somewhat attached to so its helpful seeing a short message that will at least let you know someting about the person. that said i've noticed that i get even more friend requests now that i have that notice about this on my profile and most of them have no message, i often see people on my friends list asking if someone knows this or that person because they sent a request with no message. So why dont you (those of you who dont) send a message with the requests, is it that you dont see on the persons profile a note stating leave a message or what? just curious, and sorta bored.

    Maybe they fancy you and are too shy to say??! I'm sure they don't mean to bore you :bigsmile:

    nah they wouldnt bore me lol i was just saying i was a little bored when i posted the topic.

    Oh I see! Well my idea is possible, so be kind to them:wink:
  • eeeekie
    eeeekie Posts: 1,011 Member
    I feel the same. I want to know why you're requesting (IE, a frame of reference). I generally deny requests without messages although I have accepted some recently. I think it's a courtesy ...I get were all here for support but you can at least say "hey I saw your post and I thought we could be buddies" or "We have a couple of the same friends...lets be friends" or something to the like. Takes 2 seconds.
  • StaceyL76
    StaceyL76 Posts: 711 Member
    I totally agree - it is not just about supporting everyone that sends you a request - to me it is about people that is intending to follow a healthy lifestyle - have similar goals to me etc .....I have been known to "interview" the people that send me a friend request to make sure we have common goals, and will be a good fit....

    just because I have lost a 100 lbs does not mean that I have all the answers...... I need my friends to care and be supportive of me - just as much as they need me to be there for them..... and frankly if you can not be fussed to introduce yourself and tell me why you want to be my friend I can not see much support from you going forward....

    Well said!!! I totally agree with this. = )
  • joanneeee
    joanneeee Posts: 311 Member
    I deny requests without messages. I feel the same as you, I would like to have some sort of connection because it makes it more personal... instead of just a weightloss website....
    pretty much. this isn't facebook where people need to have friends just for the sake of increasing numbers. sometimes people add me and when i send them a msg they don't even bother to reply. why add me then if you'll just ignore me? seems pointless tbqh. if someone sends me a request with no message, i just reject them.
  • benodie
    benodie Posts: 231 Member
    in all honestly i dont because i simply dont feel like it its a weightloss site so i figured people would know why your requesting them either for motivation or support whatever the case but since so many people need a message or a reason i dont do request any more lol no biggy :):drinker:
    exactly
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I've just accepted that the ones who don't send a message are simply drawn to how amazing I am. It renders them speechless. I can't blame them.
  • Ajontheguitar
    Ajontheguitar Posts: 695
    ...because my face says enough.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    What you talkin' bout Willis?

    I always leave a message :D
  • FaithsVegWorkout
    FaithsVegWorkout Posts: 471
    something i've observed here. many people including myself ask that if you send a friend request you leave a message stating why you want to be friends. with so many people here its easy to lose track of the people you've become somewhat attached to so its helpful seeing a short message that will at least let you know someting about the person. that said i've noticed that i get even more friend requests now that i have that notice about this on my profile and most of them have no message, i often see people on my friends list asking if someone knows this or that person because they sent a request with no message. So why dont you (those of you who dont) send a message with the requests, is it that you dont see on the persons profile a note stating leave a message or what? just curious, and sorta bored.

    THANK YOU! I almost posted the same topic today. This irritates me to no end.
  • FaithsVegWorkout
    FaithsVegWorkout Posts: 471
    I totally agree - it is not just about supporting everyone that sends you a request - to me it is about people that is intending to follow a healthy lifestyle - have similar goals to me etc .....I have been known to "interview" the people that send me a friend request to make sure we have common goals, and will be a good fit....

    just because I have lost a 100 lbs does not mean that I have all the answers...... I need my friends to care and be supportive of me - just as much as they need me to be there for them..... and frankly if you can not be fussed to introduce yourself and tell me why you want to be my friend I can not see much support from you going forward....

    You are awesome and, wow, I thought I was sassy! Love it!
  • slim_photographer
    slim_photographer Posts: 310 Member
    For those feeling the urge to start a section of their profile that is clearly marked "About me" with
    ****I won't accept requests with no message blah blah blah meh******
    Just get over yourselves already!
    You know there's a 'Remove Friend' button right? I know, I know I'll start my profile with
    **** there's a remove button, this ain't no marriage blah blah *****

    But seriously I do send a message, and accept all requests. I've met great people like that. Remember it takes a friend to make friends. And I would like for more people to fill their bios and make it public that way it's easier to know the stalkers from the real people.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Some of us send psychic messages.
  • helenoftroy1
    helenoftroy1 Posts: 638 Member
    something i've observed here. many people including myself ask that if you send a friend request you leave a message stating why you want to be friends. with so many people here its easy to lose track of the people you've become somewhat attached to so its helpful seeing a short message that will at least let you know someting about the person. that said i've noticed that i get even more friend requests now that i have that notice about this on my profile and most of them have no message, i often see people on my friends list asking if someone knows this or that person because they sent a request with no message. So why dont you (those of you who dont) send a message with the requests, is it that you dont see on the persons profile a note stating leave a message or what? just curious, and sorta bored.

    Maybe they fancy you and are too shy to say??! I'm sure they don't mean to bore you :bigsmile:

    nah they wouldnt bore me lol i was just saying i was a little bored when i posted the topic.

    Oh I see! Well my idea is possible, so be kind to them:wink:

    you need to watch this one.... she's trouble! :brokenheart: :laugh:
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    something i've observed here. many people including myself ask that if you send a friend request you leave a message stating why you want to be friends. with so many people here its easy to lose track of the people you've become somewhat attached to so its helpful seeing a short message that will at least let you know someting about the person. that said i've noticed that i get even more friend requests now that i have that notice about this on my profile and most of them have no message, i often see people on my friends list asking if someone knows this or that person because they sent a request with no message. So why dont you (those of you who dont) send a message with the requests, is it that you dont see on the persons profile a note stating leave a message or what? just curious, and sorta bored.

    Maybe they fancy you and are too shy to say??! I'm sure they don't mean to bore you :bigsmile:

    nah they wouldnt bore me lol i was just saying i was a little bored when i posted the topic.

    Oh I see! Well my idea is possible, so be kind to them:wink:

    you need to watch this one.... she's trouble! :brokenheart: :laugh:

    Ha ha ha ha ha!!! So says Helen of Troy, who could cause more trouble than that?!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories