I’m obsessed

Armywife04_21 · December 2017

Hey guys, I think many can relate to my personal concerns. As I approach my goal weight, I will of course be on maintenance, but I’m afraid. I find myself worrying that once I get to that point I will feel guilty. I have that “all or nothing” persona that I am trying to change. I want to find that happy medium and stop obsessing! How did you do it?

Jthanmyfitnesspal · December 2017

I was nervous this time, because it's about the 10th time I've dieted off the same weight. My advice: Keep calm, keep logging, and keep weighing. I am less careful about logging now that I'm on maintenance-- and also less hungry now that I get the necessary amount of food to balance my burn. Best of luck!

Lisa8823168 · December 2017

Triggers...continue to avoid your trigger foods. Still log, still weigh and still avoid trigger foods. I have to keep re-loosing my weight too and it is always related to those trigger foods. Once I introduce them back in, I go too far. I crave them so much I loose will power. I am to weak (emotional eater) to stop. I want that feel good the taste good offers me.

I have decided this time, maintenance really just means still dieting but at a higher calorie count....and not expecting a lower number on the scale, just the same one. I have a basic fitness plan but I am to old the be a gym worrier, nor do I enjoy it. I will not "work off" the extra calories those triggers put into my body...and I embrace that is who I am...I am OK with who I am...I just have to adapt to it.

lorrpb · December 2017

What are you going to feel guilty about?

kommodevaran · December 2017

I was worried about regain for a long time, because I had regained before - even though I had promised myself I wouldn't, and even though I loved being normal weight, and even though I was sure I had learnt healthy habits! I knew from the start that this was different, though, even though I couldn't be completely sure... I got into a mindset where I didn't demonize any foods, I started to think about aspects like dosage, frequency, balance, context and time - in short, I was learning how to enjoy eating without going overboard. I realized that a healthy weight and eating whatever I considered healthy food, is not enough motivation to keep eating less and staying active. But if I can do that while eating food I like, and dance and play and walk, I don't have to force myself.

I still plan my meals. I eat anything I want now, but I plan for it, and I'm careful not to buy too much if any too tempting food.

As I entered maintenance, I started to weigh daily; I have a weight range, and when someone suggested the concept of "mini-yoyoing", I immediately adopted that: every time I get close to the "ceiling", I cut back on treats; when I get close to the floor, I open up for more treats. My baseline diet stays the same.

I've been in maintenance for three years now, and the "mini-dieting" is becoming obsolete - a couple of weeks ago I had to cut down on food a bit because I was too full, not because I was getting heavier. I am amazed of how my body is able to adjust and give me proper feedback, even after decades of abuse and neglect.

apullum · December 2017

Why do you think you will feel guilty or obsessive? Is it because you don't think you will be happy once you reach your goal? You can always re-evaluate how happy you are with your body once you reach maintenance. However, if your goal weight puts you within a healthy weight range, then I'd caution against the urge to lose "just a few more pounds"; instead, you can try recomp if you're not happy with your appearance.

I think that it takes time to develop a new image of yourself once you reach maintenance. Many of us spent years being unhappy with our weight. Once you reach maintenance, though, you are no longer a "person who needs to lose weight" or a "person who is losing weight." You become a "person who is maintaining a weight that makes you happy with your body."

It can also be tough to get out of the mindset of needing to cut calories wherever possible. In maintenance, you need to eat your calories and not be in a deficit anymore. So I can see how you might feel guilty from eating more after you've spent a long time learning to eat less. However, just remind yourself that you're doing what is healthy for your body. You will have reached the weight you want to be at, and you have to give your body the proper level of nutrients to stay there.

mamadon · December 2017

kommodevaran wrote: »

I was worried about regain for a long time, because I had regained before - even though I had promised myself I wouldn't, and even though I loved being normal weight, and even though I was sure I had learnt healthy habits! I knew from the start that this was different, though, even though I couldn't be completely sure... I got into a mindset where I didn't demonize any foods, I started to think about aspects like dosage, frequency, balance, context and time - in short, I was learning how to enjoy eating without going overboard. I realized that a healthy weight and eating whatever I considered healthy food, is not enough motivation to keep eating less and staying active. But if I can do that while eating food I like, and dance and play and walk, I don't have to force myself.

I still plan my meals. I eat anything I want now, but I plan for it, and I'm careful not to buy too much if any too tempting food.

As I entered maintenance, I started to weigh daily; I have a weight range, and when someone suggested the concept of "mini-yoyoing", I immediately adopted that: every time I get close to the "ceiling", I cut back on treats; when I get close to the floor, I open up for more treats. My baseline diet stays the same.

I've been in maintenance for three years now, and the "mini-dieting" is becoming obsolete - a couple of weeks ago I had to cut down on food a bit because I was too full, not because I was getting heavier. I am amazed of how my body is able to adjust and give me proper feedback, even after decades of abuse and neglect.

This is my mind set also. I've been maintaining for over 3 years. I don't think of it as obsessing, but I still plan my meals for the most part (not so much on the weekend) and I still log. I also worried about regaining, especially at first, but I realize now, that I am the only one who has the control on whether I regain or not. For me, part of that control is paying attention to what I eat, while still enjoying life and the wonderful delicious foods out there in moderation.

sijomial · December 2017

Why feel guilty about achieving a goal? That's really a bit perverse!
If you set a goal of 25 minutes for running a 5k would you feel guilty when you managed it?

Why not feel every day in your maintenance range is a success just as much as losing weight every week was a success?

If you are very goal oriented then simply set new and challenging goals that aren't about weight loss.

kommodevaran · December 2017

I too was wondering about that "guilt", and it hit me that I'm having some of it, and that MFP is to "blame"! In previous weightloss attempts, I have made a lot of effort, but not been paying much attention; I would lose weight fine, but regain immediately. This time, I sometimes feel like I haven't put in any effort at all, but a lot more attention to my needs. This can be mixed up with being self-centered, especially in one's own mind. Many of us have been raised with the mindset to work hard and sacrifice a lot in order to get results, and that putting other people first, is the right thing to do, always. So, getting results while feeling fine, feels "unnatural", and prioritizing oneself feels like you're "obesessing". It takes time getting used to, and maybe some of us will always have that uneasy feeling ("this is too easy, and I'm going to pay for it later").

Is this what you are thinking too?

SummerSkier · December 2017

I am just 2 months into maintenance and will admit I am still obsessing. As a historical yo yo er who always gains it back my new "goal" is to see if I can maintain for a year. (to start with of course). One thing that I am learning to do is to slowly uncouple myself from all of the restrictions and monitoring I had while losing. So if I don't get my 250 steps per hour or MFP says I overate on a rest day, I am learning to just let that go. I tend to be pretty OCD so I still track everything (log and weigh) but I can see that as the months progress I will be able to let some of the various things go. It's a process I think. And you are smart to be careful. Weight gain after losing is SO common and I think it's important to focus on how to maintain or actually do smaller fluctuations (maybe 2 lbs vs 30 in my case!).

I am hoping to rid myself of all the daily spreadsheet stuff after the year (I still want to see if I have seasonal fluctuations and monitor that for TDEE) and perhaps just use happy scale to watch trends and MFP to track cals in. In some ways I know I am like an addict and that I will probably need to log the rest of my life in order to have it stare me in the face.

When I started maintenance I just added 100 cals every other week for a month and since I was still losing I started adding 100 a week. I am still sort of in that range but close to a balance. It taught me to TRUST the CICO a little bit more when I did that. The very FIRST week I added scared me that my TDEE was going to be really low but by the second week I could see the #s were ok.

Set new goals. No need to feel guilty about achieving the loss. And avoid trigger foods and activities if possible.

Good luck and congrats on your loss. You will get plenty of advice here. And after a few months you will be throwing out your OWN ideas to the group. Looking forward to hearing what works and does not work for you as well.

Armywife04_21 · December 2017

Thank you everyone for your input! I appreciate it all. For me, I guess I should have said this earlier on, the last time I was losing weight was when I was anorexic so this is the first time I have done weight loss eating right and working out. I had an eating disorder for a long time and the mental aspect of that never really goes away. Me being afraid is that I will get too comfortable and perhaps regain all the weight I have worked so hard to lose. I sometimes overly restrict myself and I have only been over my calories maybe a couple of times in my journey because I always monitor it so close, I just want to be flexible and have a balance. I am proud of myself for losing almost 50lbs THE RIGHT WAY, and that is not where my guilt comes from, it is the keeping it off that worries me.

88olds · December 2017

Change nothing at first. My goal weight was 184lbs. I got down to 169 before I decided to eat more to get back to about 176. All the time I kept tracking. In fact, I kept tracking for 5 years.

Before I got to goal I had that identity crisis moment, who will I be if I really get there? Not much was different.

nowine4me · December 2017

I recently hit a year of maintenance, so here’s my advice. Do exactly what has worked for you with a handful more calories.

fiddletime · December 2017

I’ve been maintaining for 6 months. I track all week in weight loss mode, and don’t worry as much on the weekends. I can really eat a lot about 4 meals a month, without gaining weight. If I do creep up, I cut back for awhile.

I feel guilty, and am working on that. The longer I “get away with” this approach, the less guilty about pigging out I become. This is my third time (or maybe 20th time) losing and gaining and it takes a lot of work for me to maintain. If I’m a pound over my limit for 3 days I lose it over the next week or two. Slow and steady wins the race. One day won’t sabotage you.

The less I eat trigger foods, the easier it becomes, but I hate to feel “deprived”. So, for me it’s a constant balancing act.

kristen8000 · December 2017

The thing that has saved me this time around (this just happens to be the 3rd time I've hit goal in the last 6 years) is weighing every day and recording the weight in Libra. Last time I weighed MAYBE 1x a week and completely avoided the scale if I had been "bad". Now, there's no avoiding it and it doesn't lie. Libra helps because if it does go up or down the trend tells you where you really are - so you don't have to think "is it fat, muscle or water"...

Oddly enough, the trend since "switching to maintainance" has always been down and I've lost an additional 6lbs. I find that after being super restrictive for 3 months I have a hard time eating big quanities, so even if I trip up and eat things I shouldn't eat, I can never eat more than a small amount until I'm full.

Now, I'll never say "I've got this". I did that the other 2 times and eventually I've found the weight I gained. I hope this helps!

femmaggie · December 2017

I have that “all or nothing” persona too. I've tried twice over the years to lose weight, but this time my mind is set to it's "all or nothing" and I've found that's been working for me. I've had my mind set on losing a certain weight, but now that I'm closer to maintenance I find myself changing my goal settings to another 5 more pounds almost like I'm afraid to go to maintenance and add the extra 500 calories, being terrified to lose control and gain all the weight back.

For me I know when I finally go to maintenance, I think I'll eat like how I eat now just slowly add a bit more calories a few weeks apart, check my weight 2-3 times a week and gradually add a few more calories when feel my body is ready.

Good luck to you.

FitPhillygirl · December 2017

Try setting a different goal now. Such as a fitness related goal, and focus on that instead.

I’m obsessed

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