Emotional Roadblocks

mamabear1114
mamabear1114 Posts: 140 Member
in Motivation and Support
I don’t know how to get past this.
This process has already been almost four years in the making. My heaviest was 205, and now I’m about 187. So, don’t get me wrong, there has been a little turnaround. I’m slowly (really slowly, obviously) learning how to eat better food, cook, exercise, treat my body better, and just being more aware of my health in general, and effectively unlearn a life of abusive behaviors (binge eating, smoking, drinking, etc) and I’ve had plenty of pitfalls in that time, also. But there’s one thing I can’t seem to do, and that’s count calories. Every time I try to do that, I end up being overwhelmed and eating worse than I did before, gain weight, and thus begins a pitfall. I think there’s a psychological component to that but I can’t seem to get past it. Another problem is, I’m pregnant with my second child. I’ve lost some weight already because I was sick my first trimester. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to start a weight loss thing in the middle of my pregnancy, I know better. All I want to do is keep watch of what I’m eating to make sure I am staying within calorie limits (I figure 1800-2000) and eating healthful foods for my pregnancy, because I am technically already starting my pregnancy overweight (For my height I should be about 165) but the thought of weighing foods and counting calories and logging everything already overwhelms me. Does anyone have any advice on how to get past this? I’ve already gotten rid of most of the junk food in my house and made a food plan for my family (originally intended to save money) and honestly, that has already made us all eat a lot better and feel a lot better in the process. I am just wanting to focus in a little bit more. Does anyone have recommendations on how to do this without feeling restricted or burdened? I just want to have a healthy relationship with food and my body, but somehow counting calories always feels like a punishment. Thanks for taking the time to read!

Replies

  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
    There's only one way to lose weight, and that's to eat less calories than your body needs to maintain your current weight. It's simple math. However, being pregnant I think you're right, you shouldn't be eating at a huge deficit, but you don't want to gain more weight (other than the baby of course) so you need to eat at the recommended amount of calories per day for the baby to be healthy. If you don't want, or can't count calories yourself, you may want to speak to your doctor about sending you to a nutritionist that can plan your meals/foods/etc. for you. They will do the counting for you and suggest meal plans and foods acceptable to eat for each meal and snacks. It may help you for now during the pregnancy and during breast feeding (assuming you plan to do that). They can usually provide you with lists of foods and quantities of those foods that are good to eat when having cravings as well. Good luck and congrats!
  • mamabear1114
    mamabear1114 Posts: 140 Member
    Spliner1969 wrote: »
    There's only one way to lose weight, and that's to eat less calories than your body needs to maintain your current weight. It's simple math. However, being pregnant I think you're right, you shouldn't be eating at a huge deficit, but you don't want to gain more weight (other than the baby of course) so you need to eat at the recommended amount of calories per day for the baby to be healthy. If you don't want, or can't count calories yourself, you may want to speak to your doctor about sending you to a nutritionist that can plan your meals/foods/etc. for you. They will do the counting for you and suggest meal plans and foods acceptable to eat for each meal and snacks. It may help you for now during the pregnancy and during breast feeding (assuming you plan to do that). They can usually provide you with lists of foods and quantities of those foods that are good to eat when having cravings as well. Good luck and congrats!

    That’s actually super advice! I’ve never thought of something like that before. I’m going to ask her at my next appointment! Thank you so much!

  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
    You're welcome! ;)
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    edited December 2017
    Spliner1969 wrote: »
    There's only one way to lose weight, and that's to eat less calories than your body needs to maintain your current weight. It's simple math. However, being pregnant I think you're right, you shouldn't be eating at a huge deficit, but you don't want to gain more weight (other than the baby of course) so you need to eat at the recommended amount of calories per day for the baby to be healthy. If you don't want, or can't count calories yourself, you may want to speak to your doctor about sending you to a nutritionist that can plan your meals/foods/etc. for you. They will do the counting for you and suggest meal plans and foods acceptable to eat for each meal and snacks. It may help you for now during the pregnancy and during breast feeding (assuming you plan to do that). They can usually provide you with lists of foods and quantities of those foods that are good to eat when having cravings as well. Good luck and congrats!
    I have mixed opinions about this. The main thing is that you need to follow the food plan EXACTLY, including prep methods, weights of each portion, and even specific brands of products. Otherwise the calorie count will not be accurate. Even an apple or banana can vary in calories by 50% depending on size. If you throw in a little extra butter to a dish, poof, the calorie count goes up. If you use high fat instead of low fat product that might be suggested, calories will be wrong, etc. If this is what you choose to do, and it doesn't get the expected results, you will need to be more meticulous about understanding and following the plan to the letter.

    If calorie counting everything is overwhelming, then start small. Try logging just one meal every day for a week. I suggest you choose breakfast or lunch, since most of us tend to have a lot of food repetitions in those meals. Soon many of your choices will be on your personal list, or you can created standard meals from them, so they will be quick and easy to plug in again. After a week or two, add another meal. After you get that one down, add a third meal, and so on. Pretty soon you will be logging everything and all the food will be saved so it will become much easier to do. I hope that helps.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I would just write down everything you're eating. After your pregnancy you would then look at your log and eat slightly smaller portions or lower calories versions of the foods you prefer. Calorie counting is not mandated for weight loss.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,532 Member
    Restricted or burdened are ideas, judgments.

    Maybe think in terms of limits. Frankly, I don't think there's any reasonable way to approach weight loss, if you aren't willing to work within limits.

    Not the most comfortable topic, but living a contented life requires accepting some limits. And that's OK. We may not live as long as we'd like, or enjoy good health as long as we'd like. Maybe we'd like more money, love, career advancement. Personally, I'd like more chocolate cake. Worst concept in modern America? Have it all. Show me a person who really thinks they "have it all" and I'll show you a person satisfied to live with some limits. Just how it is.

    Somewhere between restricted/burdened and full on kid in a candy store are some reasonable, livable limits. Keep experimenting until you find your way.

    Last- I lost my last 40 lbs of 100 on Weight Watchers. Not an endorsement but fact is I couldn't count calories either. But I did manage to count points. Was it because I was only counting to about 35? Don't know. Also WW always had a separate system for some people who just could not tolerate counting. Seemed to me that nearly everyone resists counting. But some folks just cannot stand it. Is that you?
  • TH2017
    TH2017 Posts: 47 Member
    I think lorrpb has a good idea about weighing and logging just one meal as a start and see how that goes. BUT if weighing and logging foods is that hard how about starting with watching your portion sizes by swapping out your plates? Instead of using a normal dinner plate use the smaller salad plate for all your meals. And for liquid stuff, instead of using a bowl use like a big coffee cup? It won't be as accurate as weighing everything but it could be a good start.
  • NJGamerChick
    NJGamerChick Posts: 467 Member
    I will admit that I've not counted a single calorie in six months because I've started working and it's been hard adjusting to it. What I have been doing is making sure that what I do eat for the most part is healthily made, nutritious, and makes my soul happy. That last one is important, because if you're not happy with what you're eating, you won't want to keep that up.

    I will suggest the nutritionist route, too. I had gone to one who broke down a meal plan based on "servings" instead of calories. So breakfast was 2 carbs, a protein, a dairy, and a fruit. That could be an egg sandwich with an apple. It worked decently well for me and made things very no nonsense at the time. I think that would be easier for you to handle right now and could be your gateway to logging calories in the future. :)

    Keep at it and give yourself some leeway. Making a baby isn't easy.
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,169 Member
    Listen to your doctor, nutritionist or dietician. Follow their advice for how you should eat during pregnancy and, if this is your plan, breastfeeding.
  • Ardael
    Ardael Posts: 244 Member
    I find that buying the same brands and then scanning their barcodes was helpful at the beginning.

    Had a ham and cheese sandwich? Went to log, selected 2 slices of bread, 1 slice of ham, 1 slice of cheese and BOOM logging done.

    No scales, no scratching of the head about why someone logged crackers only in US fluid onces portions, no painstaking write downs.

    It does require to scan the product first, but once you do it it'll be there in your food selection.

    Then when you're used to it, you can become more precise, get the scale and all and you'll wonder what was the big deal in the first place :)
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    Whe I started this journey 4 years ago I started just logging and eyeballing portions. (and for a month added sugar to break the snacking habit). No judgement, just keeping track of what I ate a bit in line with what @Ardael said. I noticed that by simply logging my foods I ate better. once i was happy with the logging as a habit my logging got tighter and the kitchen scale became a friend.
    I have no doubt that if I had started my journey loggin the way I weigh/log now I would have failed. For me it worked take babysteps.

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