Not FEELING the results (warning TMI sorry)

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Malani2010
Malani2010 Posts: 245
in Health and Weight Loss
As some of you know I have lost 46 lbs since Feb. I can tell my clothes fit better, I have already lost a pant size and shirt size. I can tell by pictures that I've lost and my husband is such a wonderful encourager.

But when I look in the mirror and see myself naked(tmi sorry) I don't see it. I still get embarrassed about my husband seeing me naked and it upsets me even though he has never given me a reason to be that way. (We're together with the lights off). Does anyone else feel this way? I need some encouragement.
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Replies

  • Jcdaniels
    Jcdaniels Posts: 22
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    My wife is the same way. Always has been though (about the lights off).
    I married her, so I shouldn't have a problem with lights, which is what I tell her all the time.
    We're both on track to becoming healthier and I hope she realizes that ;)

    I understand , as I personally don't like the way I look either.
  • limoilou1979
    limoilou1979 Posts: 10
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    46lbs wow you should be proud off you and walk your head high!!!
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    As some of you know I have lost 46 lbs since Feb. I can tell my clothes fit better, I have already lost a pant size and shirt size. I can tell by pictures that I've lost and my husband is such a wonderful encourager.

    But when I look in the mirror and see myself naked(tmi sorry) I don't see it. I still get embarrassed about my husband seeing me naked and it upsets me even though he has never given me a reason to be that way. (We're together with the lights off). Does anyone else feel this way? I need some encouragement.

    Self-esteem is killer. My suggestion, see a therapist, someone who will help you work through your self-esteem issues. Because if you aren't comfortable in your own skin, if you don't love yourself NOW, self esteem will still be a problem when you reach your goal.

    Edited to say: You've done a terrific job which is why I think working on your self-esteem is the way to go. And to add, I LOVE therapy, it is the best thing that I ever did.
  • mrsvatitagain
    mrsvatitagain Posts: 275 Member
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    Yup! Its called body image. We cannot see the change with our eye, even with loose fitting close and a clear indiciation that we have lost weight. We still see the old us in the mirror because that is what we are used too.

    I think it would help if you bought something new a size too small and every 5-10 pounds lost try it on. It might help put the image into perspective. Just a thought and something I am trying as well, because I dont see my loss either yet everyone around me does.

    And event the fact that I am no longer stuffed like a sausage in my clothes, a clear sign that a change has taken place, its still hard to see for me. Self Body Image is a TRIP!!!!!
  • heather_elise85
    heather_elise85 Posts: 69 Member
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    I feel that way too.. but I have not lost all that I wanted to. Everything has changed since I had our daughter. Looking at your profile picture.. I take it you are a mom? And lets just admit it.. our bodies are not the same after having kids.. at least not mine.... I can't get comfortable in my own skin. I'm still trying to lose the baby weight after almost 2 years and my husband says nothing but nice things about the way I look.. I just hope when I lose what I want to lose I will feel better.
  • donnadaniels
    donnadaniels Posts: 11 Member
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    I know a lot of people that feel that way. Myself on the other hand had to teach myself, that this is MY body, no matter how it looks its the only one I have. SO , love it anyways... and in turn you will build up the confidence to be comfortable no matter how you think you look. AND trust me... your husband doesnt care... i am sure to see a more confident you at any size would be a turn on!!!

    Hope this helps
  • bam0904
    bam0904 Posts: 25 Member
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    I know how you feel. I have lost 25 pounds. Everyone compliments me, clothes fit different, but I have yet to have to buy smaller pants, pictures look similar. I dont see the difference. I do notice that if I wear skirts or shorts, I have changed sizes, but not with jeans. Makes me feel as thou I must have been really cramming myself into those jeans! I would love to go down just one jean size. That would mean results for me.

    I am divorced so currenlty no one is seeing me naked. thank God for that!

    Good luck in your journey, am sure others can tell. :)
  • arw060310
    arw060310 Posts: 256 Member
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    I wish I had some advice for you. But I don't. I'm the same way. 17lbs gone, smaller pants and shirts, but naked, I look the exact same =[ it's really discouraging. I think we really are our biggest critics.
  • lindsaylove07
    lindsaylove07 Posts: 444 Member
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    I have self esteem issues with being nekkid too. I think this is how we're supposed to feel for awhile?
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
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    I can relate. I can see the improvements in my body, but we always seem to focus on the parts of us that haven't changed as much. It's something we have to change in our own minds & try to start focusing on the positive changes we're seeing & feeling & not sticking to the negative things.
  • baschmidt2
    baschmidt2 Posts: 46
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    I feel the same exact way. I think plenty of us do. I think partially because we see ourselves every day getting in and out of a shower, changing, etc. So we have a hard time accepting how much weight we have or haven't lost. But yes keep your chin up, hold you head high you have lost over 40 lbs!! :)
  • tishaloses
    tishaloses Posts: 234 Member
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    I have lost 32 pds and I feel the same way!! When I am clothed I feel amazing and sexy but naked I don't feel the same way!!! No matter how many times my husband tells me I am beautiful!!
  • tmiqueen
    tmiqueen Posts: 254 Member
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    I definitely feel that way. And 99.9% of it is all in my head.
    Husbands don't see the fat rolls, back acne, that one tooth that doesn't sit just right in your mouth, your lazy eye....
    Husbands see a beautiful woman...the woman he chose....the woman he wants to see naked in spite of her flaws.
    Would you want to have the lights off if your husband was less than perfect? If he had an unsightly scar? If he started balding?
    It's the same thing.
    Your husband is already happy, because he gets to be with you.
    There are many women who are physically beautiful on the outside, but inside are ugly.
    Men might be attracted to them at first, but it's not enough to get them to stay.
    You have inner beauty that corrects all flaws in his sight.
    Just keep being the beautiful woman you are on the inside and it'll be reflected on the outside!
  • thamre
    thamre Posts: 642 Member
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    I am the same way. I have lost 80-85 pounds and although I get told by many people that I look really good...I still see that obese person in the mirror (and my journey has been 1 1/2 years). My 15 daughter is my biggest supporter and tells me all the time that I don't need to loose anymore weight. But, until I am happy with what I see in the mirror I am going to continue my "battle of the bulge" :happy:

    oh and btw 46 lbs since February is FANTASTIC.
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
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    Body image is so lame! I know exactly how you feel, and you know what it is right? Its because I think we all compare ourselves to other people, even if we aren't conciously holding up and picture and saying "I wish I looked like this"....we're constantly looking at perfect bodies on TV and in magazines, so when we look in the mirror and see that our body isn't "perfect" it feels like there wasnt even any improvement.

    On a TMI note....If you want to have some fun with the lights on, but your not quite confident enough to bare it all.... have you thought about lingerie? A good corset usually can cover up area's we might feel aren't so great, while boosting up some of the assets.... just throwing the idea out there.

    example:
    ee9bc82af5e1854f_Hips-and-Curves-Velvet-Ruffle-Corset.xlarge.jpg
  • sheisbrown
    sheisbrown Posts: 171 Member
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    First, Congrats on your weight loss! I totally understand what you are talking about. I have lost a little over 50 lbs and I still can't tell sometimes when I look in the mirror too. But don't fret. I think that sometimes we look at ourselves so much that its hard to really see the difference as we lose weight. Also, I think that sometimes we look at ourselves with a way more critical eye than our friends and family do. One thing that may help is to take pictures of yourself periodically just to see the change. I find that if I look at a pic of myself when I was 50 lbs heavier that I really can see the weight loss. Also practice looking in the mirror without having judgement or bring critical of yourself. I know this is hard because I struggle with it myself but practice just looking in the mirror and saying and thinking good things about your body and that may help to change your whole perception of yourself. I try to identify parts of my body that i really like- such as my strong legs. Its all a work in progress right? And Its about the journey!

    Again, Congrats on your weight loss! That is so awesome!
  • jmehere
    jmehere Posts: 108 Member
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    I feel this way. I've shrunk porpotionally, so my body still sort of looks the same. Plus, I have sagging skin issues that certainly don't help. I think it has to do with self image. The question is, are we doing this so that we will feel more socially acceptable and worthy of love and acceptance or are we doing this because we want to feel better and we want to use this body to live as long and as well as we can. I know it's hard to keep sight of when we look in the mirror. I lost my young woman body when I got pregnant with my first child. I never appreciated it for what it was. It was fine. In fact, my body was beautiful, I just couldn't see it. Now, I imagine at in another 20 or 30 years, I'll be kicking myself for not enjoying my body for what it was in spite of being overweight. Our culture places too much value on image and not enough on joy and being where and what you are, it's hard to overcome that. And I'm not saying that we should give up our pursuit of healthiness, but if we give ourselves everything we were supposed to on a given day or are in the process it should be enough.
  • fashion_rabe
    fashion_rabe Posts: 1 Member
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    We always hear people saying how good they feel about themselves when they reach their goal weight. And yes, I think in part they feel good because they like the way they look. But I think more of what they are feeling is the wonderful feeling of knowing that they can make a goal and accomplish it. It is such a powerful feeling to set a goal and reach it in any area of your life that you are trying to improve. You realize that you can shape your destiny and make anything you want of your life. So I suggest making small goals along the way to your larger goal. For example, make a goal to work out "x" number of times this week and then stick with it. Or make any goal for the week and then do it. This will help you realize what a wonderful and powerful person you are no matter where you are at on your journey to loose weight.
  • edunk2008
    edunk2008 Posts: 24
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    First off...DO NOT APOLOGIZE!!! You, my dear, have lost an impressive amount of weight and for that, you should be VERY proud of yourself! If I could give you, and everyone else, just one piece of advice, it would be this......Sexy is a feeling, a state of mind. Feeling good about yourself and the fact that you are doing something about what needs to be done is sexy in itself! Instead of looking in the mirrior and focasing on all the trouble spots or all the work still left to be done, smile because you've come SO far and think of your beautiful children that you and only YOU carried in your body and brought into this world. NOW THAT IS SEXY!!!!!!
  • edunk2008
    edunk2008 Posts: 24
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    Body image is so lame! I know exactly how you feel, and you know what it is right? Its because I think we all compare ourselves to other people, even if we aren't conciously holding up and picture and saying "I wish I looked like this"....we're constantly looking at perfect bodies on TV and in magazines, so when we look in the mirror and see that our body isn't "perfect" it feels like there wasnt even any improvement.

    On a TMI note....If you want to have some fun with the lights on, but your not quite confident enough to bare it all.... have you thought about lingerie? A good corset usually can cover up area's we might feel aren't so great, while boosting up some of the assets.... just throwing the idea out there.

    example:
    ee9bc82af5e1854f_Hips-and-Curves-Velvet-Ruffle-Corset.xlarge.jpg


    I love the on a TMI note part of this!!! How funny and true!!!! Rock what you've got, no matter what package it comes in!! Excellent advice!!!

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