Fell off the wagon horribly and am back on but man. It hurt going back to the gym today

Losingthedamnweight
Losingthedamnweight Posts: 536 Member
edited November 23 in Health and Weight Loss
So today is my first day back on the wagon after a whopping 6 months off of it and it just feels plain weird. I was depressed and full of anxiety for the better part (or worse) of a year and I’m just now getting my focus back, but I’m 40 lbs heavier, very self conscious and this morning I went back to the gym at 5am and tried to do a workout and I was SO tired I felt like I was dying.

I could barely keep up on the exercise bike, but then I got on the treadmill and gave it a decent incline and speed and my legs started cramping up and I don’t know why it upset me so much. It was like this realization of “this is what I did to myself. I’m fat and out of shape and I can barely walk on a treadmill without feeling like crap”. I remember early in 2017 being fit and excited to go to the gym everyday. Challenging myself with every workout. Looking forward to getting a good sweat going. Today it was almost like the second I walked in the gym I already felt defeated. I’m trying to not think so negatively, but it’s hard

I’m off work today, so I was actually thinking about going back to the gym this afternoon and tackling it again. Seeing if I get stronger every time I go back. I just kinda wanted to tell someone how my day was going and see if anybody else had the same feelings going back to the gym after being away for so long

Replies

  • katste44
    katste44 Posts: 24 Member
    I feel your pain 100%. I'm just getting back on the wagon myself after about 6 months of depression and stress where I ate (and didn't exercise) myself to an extra 20 lbs (and I was already 30 lbs overweight, but I was working on that before). I tried to do a workout video last night and I felt like crap - I was out of breath and could barely do the easiest of exercises. I felt really bad about myself. So, I know exactly what you're saying.

    But, we've done it before and we can do it again - one day at a time right? Take it easier when you go back - don't try to start where you left off six months ago and tell yourself that your better for doing this now. It will get easier, you will get stronger, and we can do this!
  • tumblyweed
    tumblyweed Posts: 416 Member
    Friend me for support
  • DmaMfz
    DmaMfz Posts: 125 Member
    I felt the same way. I was so uncomfortable with how I felt at the gym it actually caused more problems than solutions. Some people can train through it. I couldn’t. I knew I didn’t need to workout to lose weight, so I focused on just getting enough of the lbs off where I felt comfortable in my skin again. Then hit up the gym. It was just the method that worked for me.

    Then I had a crazy year as well, and gained 20ish lbs, and I’m a tiny person so that’s quite a lot on my body. But, I feel comforted in knowing what to do and how to do it. Now it’s just a matter of time. Just be patient with yourself. Don’t break yourself mentally over this. If you need to just focus on CICO for a bit to get motivated, no harm in that. You’ll know when you’re ready.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,333 Member
    There must be something in the air today... maybe it is some of us getting to new years resolutions today instead of waiting. Without going into to it... i understand.
    it is a downer when you realize you've lost ground. We all do it..and it is okay to beat yourself up for a day about it.. then you have to move on.

    it is unrealistic to think you can jump right back in at the gym and work out like you did when you were fit. Start slow and give it time... take the advice you'd give to a dear friend who was out of shape and headed to the gym.
  • itsaboutthattimeagain
    itsaboutthattimeagain Posts: 36 Member
    edited December 2017
    I feel you or should I say, I did feel you almost two months ago. Fell off and finally started exercising again and realized it was harder than before. Energy was low and I couldn't believe how tired I was after a short time. Was so darn frustrated. Good news is after exercising consistently for almost two months, my stamina and strength is improving. So hang in there, it will get better. Just what happens when we fall off. I will say that I thought it would never return, lol, it just seemed so much harder than before. lol...but good news, the more you exercise, the more your stamina and energy will return and improve. Just hang in there and weather the storm, brighter days are ahead.
  • cenafan
    cenafan Posts: 398 Member
    I was losing steady (but not in a healthy way). Doctor made me take a break. I've decided it's time to get back on track. I've out back on 8 of the 50 I had lost in 2 months. Very stressed about that. Time to get back to losing healthy! You can do it! I can do it. Let's go!
  • twopaulines
    twopaulines Posts: 55 Member
    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I went to the gym yesterday and nearly had a panic attack. I was alone in a weight room full of people. DIdn't feel comfortable at all. I did the best I could and reminded myself this was all mental. Because there are days I go and feel I own the place. Yesterday, I felt like a pesky step sister.

    You did it once, you'll do it again. Keep up the good work!
  • greaseswabber
    greaseswabber Posts: 238 Member
    I'm in the same boat. It's been a slow, steady increase. Every time i hit some new high, I thought 'this time I'll get back to MFP. This time I'll fix it.' 35 lbs later I'm actually back to logging and mostly achieving my calorie goals. No gym yet, but maybe this week.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I'm in the same boat. Gained back most of the weight I've lost. It was a difficult year, and it's hard not to beat myself up over it. But I'm hoping to take everything I learned last time and apply it this time.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,282 Member
    LAWoman72 wrote: »
    Six months is a way long time. You're basically starting from scratch. But think: one month from now you will be so glad you started a month ago. Two months from now you will be so happy you started two months ago. We all need to start some time and today is as good a day as any. :)

    This. QFT/
  • mlsh1969
    mlsh1969 Posts: 138 Member
    Keep going, hang in there, u will succeed
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
    You may have not felt great about it, but hey, you got in there and you did it! That is what matters. The first week or two will probably suck getting back into it. Maybe even a month. But stick with it. I recently took four full weeks off post-surgery and even with that short amount of time, getting back into it was tough. It took me about two weeks to really feel in the swing of things and be confident with my lifts again. That being said, it will probably be another month or two until I'm squatting and dead lifting what I was prior to my surgery. It takes time. What matters most is that you are getting your work out in and making an attempt. Try and blast your music, get out of your head. Maybe get some new sneakers, treat yourself to a coffee or tea post-work out and try to make it your *therapy* again.
  • twoboysnmygirl
    twoboysnmygirl Posts: 161 Member
    Typed up a huge reply and lost it, ugh!

    I came in here looking for this exact type of thread. Just know you aren't alone and many of us are getting back to it and starting again! Lifelong process to stay healthy, we keep on keeping on or we slide back into bad habits. today I choose to keep going, even if it's frustrating to see how far I've backslid.
  • halhix
    halhix Posts: 48 Member
    I know exactly where you are. I lost 150 lbs through exercise and logging activity through MFP back in 2012. For the better part of five years, I've battled depression (several family members passed away and my wife has been battling breast cancer for the past 3 years). I just gave in and gained back almost 90 lbs.

    Two months ago I started again just like you. I was miserable for the first few days of exercising. You need to look at this like training for a marathon. You need to build yourself into it (not only physically but mentally as well). I'm doing elliptical exercises now to ease myself back into an exercise routine (started 30 min, built up to 45 min, now I'm doing 60 min a day). I'm about to add in HIIT sometime this next week. I've dropped 20 lbs and feel a little bit better about myself. Like you, I need to stop beating myself up and do something about it as the depression won't let go until you finally forgive yourself.
  • jb050794
    jb050794 Posts: 43 Member
    I would suggest maybe slowly get yourself back into it? I haven't been to the gym in months, and I am going to start going again on Thursday. My plan is to walk on the treadmill a bit, a few minutes of running, and ending with some free weights. I was doing so well in the gym last summer, but I know I can't start off running 20min. Best of luck to you!
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    getting back into it at the gym always SUCKS lol keep at it. be wary of overkill though, your body is adjusting. more sooner will only do damage, not help.
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