Husband died in July - Trying to change

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TexasTallchick
TexasTallchick Posts: 134 Member
in Getting Started
Hi everyone! My husband died unexpectedly in July of an undetermined cause and all I want to do is comfort eat. It’s really the only thing I enjoy these days.

Saw the doctor today for antidepressants and he told me to lose weight. Need friends who are supportive and encouraging. I’ll be the same. We can do this!! Feel free to add me.
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Replies

  • SusanDSME
    SusanDSME Posts: 194 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Always happy to have another friend for mutual encouragement and support! Feel free to add me.
  • cloudsjen
    cloudsjen Posts: 6 Member
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    I am sorry for your loss. Please feel free to add me. I log on daily.
  • thefitnessdolls
    thefitnessdolls Posts: 26 Member
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    Sorry for your loss xx
  • Greg580
    Greg580 Posts: 24 Member
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    I join others in expressing sincere sorrow for your unexpected loss. Please feel free to add me.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    so sorry, some people cant eat at all and others overeat. Be kind to yourself during this time. I am sure he would have wanted you to take care of yourself
  • baxmax
    baxmax Posts: 1 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and I hope you find a way of achieving some peace of mind. xxx
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    So very sorry for your loss. On the doctor visit, did you get the pills and are you able to see someone to talk about things (if that is something you think would be helpful)? Do you have a support system, including people you can talk to or lean on?

    On weight loss, I've found that sometimes focusing on a plan (even something so simple as cooking or planning out meals plus logging, and gradually working in activity) can be something to focus on when you might otherwise have focused on food. I'm not sure it's a long-term solution, but in the early going when adding habits coming up with ways to make the weight loss process active and positive and not just "I won't do this" can make it easier, and something that you can use to bring that comfort that eating can, if that makes any sense.
  • Iamnotasenior
    Iamnotasenior Posts: 234 Member
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    Very sorry for your loss. My suggestion would be grief counseling if you are not already going. I have lived through the loss of loved ones but losing a spouse is the worst. Consoling yourself through drugs, alcohol, over eating, spending large sums of money, etc. are all things I've seen people close to me do as part of the grieving process. It's normal and it's typically just one of the many stages you will go through in the grieving process. Get into counseling with someone who specializes in grief or find a bereavement support group near you and start going. It will help you especially if you feel "stuck".
  • bhilliker
    bhilliker Posts: 7 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. In the grand scheme, a few extra doughnuts were probably better than a few extra pints of whiskey for masking the pain! However, no none wants to get to the point where other people are discussing your weight - either with you or about you. We all have different scars that brought us here, and we can all support each other. I like to take walks in the woods near me so I can have my mental conversations. You could try that. Also, when my dad died and my kids were struggling with it, I told them that the 1st star at night was grandpa looking down on them. I still look at it and say goodnight to him (I know it's a planet, but whatev). Find the things that make you smile. The weight and the pain will both fall away.
  • Jonnydebrasco
    Jonnydebrasco Posts: 68 Member
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    Sorry for your loss, feel free to add me.
  • carterbrent
    carterbrent Posts: 91 Member
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    So sorry for your loss . I can only imagine how difficult it is to lose a spouse. I am sure I would gain weight. Feel free to add me. I check in every day.
  • Drlmm11
    Drlmm11 Posts: 7 Member
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    I want to add how sorry I am for your loss. If you need to talk, please add me. I have an idea of what you're going through as I lost my husband two years so.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
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    I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your pain but I do know something about comfort eating - for me, it helped to find comfort activities which were not food related. For example, listening to music, watching birds, swimming, and painting my fingernails. I know it can feel impossible to do anything when you're depressed. Feel free to add me.
  • bisky
    bisky Posts: 992 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss. It is okay to still be grieving and sad...that is normal. Be gentle with yourself during this time. This is your first holiday without your husband and I am sure it is hitting you hard. When I lost someone I grieved about two years before the pain gradually lifted. Now when I think of that person I still have moments of pain but also wonderful memories and acceptance of what happened. I agree with rheddmobile that you should look for other activities to comfort yourself that you enjoy. For me it was walking my dog while listening to music. Gradually you will recover but for now accept you went through a horrible unexpected loss and accept that it is normal to feel sad.
  • wonder_whitters
    wonder_whitters Posts: 30 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss. Grief can bring on so many emotions. My family went through an immense loss this year as well, and it can truly be terrible. Be kind to yourself! This community has such great support. Anyone is always welcome to add me here. ♥
  • carrieannmp
    carrieannmp Posts: 1 Member
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    Very sorry for your loss. I hope this forum provides a little comfort and support for you.
  • Gisel2015
    Gisel2015 Posts: 4,144 Member
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    I am sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and the fear of ever losing my husband sends chills up and down the spine. Take care of yourself and think about the happy moments that you had with your husband. Members have posted good recommendations and words of support. Listen to them. Hugs
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    I am very sorry. If you are not having weight related health issues, eat the donut if you want it. You will have time later to think about dieting. Grieve and recover first.

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