All or nothing?

daydreamercat1992 · January 2018

Do any of you guys are also all or nothing person? Like a thin slice of cake wouldn't satisfy me so i don't eat it at all. I don't want to eat the entire cake ofc (I never binged in my life) but thought of not being able to eat more than x amount makes me not to eat that food completely. This usually happens with desserts and any kind of food that can be considered as empty calories. If i ate say a banana i can have another one (within my calorie limit) without feeling guilty bc i get some kind of nutrition from it. Like it has been months since the last time i had any kind of sugary/junk food type food. I didn't even eat my birthday cake. It is kind of depressing. Also i'm wondering if i'm developing orthorexic tendencies because of this.

yaddakadu · January 2018

Well, I don't know about orthorexia. That's more of a hyper fixation on healthy foods. I wouldn't say you are hyper fixating. (but I'm not a doctor so don't pay to much mind to my words) - Maybe you're just not a very indulgent person. Calories are meaningful to you and you don't like wasting them on empty calories. There is nothing wrong with that. As long as you are maintaining a healthy BMI and you're foods are nutritionally providing for you - I see nothing wrong. The concern with orthorexia is that they deem so many foods "unpure" that - by the end of it - they are eventually eating nothing but apples and sliced cucumbers. Which IS NOT healthy. But yeah - some people are completely okay with living on little variety of foods like Beans, Greens, Fruit, ect.... they are just quirky like that.

NadNight · January 2018

I'm very similar- once I eat a small amount of sweet, sugary stuff I just think 'screw it' and end up eating loads more than I intended. I've tried allowing myself small regular sweet treats but it doesn't really work because I end up eating in excess (like if I get a packet of biscuits or mini cakes they tend to come in packs that feed several people and when you live alone the 'share packs' become...'all for me' packs).

For me this only happens with sugary sweet things (biscuits, donuts, sweets, chocolate) whereas I can easily resist anything savoury like crisps.

On special occasions I do tend to let rip though and indulge in birthday cake on my birthday and mince pies and gingerbread at Christmas and chocolate at Easter and Halloween (I count Halloween as an occasion.).

To me you don't sound like you have orthorexia, although I admit I don't know much about it. I think there's a fine line between being aware of what you'e eating and trying to make concious healthy choices and on the other side it can become a bit of an obsession to avoid not only foods like sweets and chocolate but anything that doesn't fit with your idea of 'pure' foods. It's one thing to try and avoid foods that are high in sugar, salt etc but if it gets to a point where you avoid foods that would normally be considered fine because they're not 'clean' or they've been processed in any way then that's a worrying sign. It can probably be a slippery slope but I don't think anything you've said is particularly worrying except the birthday cake bit. Please enjoy your birthday cake!

I sometimes think it could be down to personality, I know I'm an all or nothing person in every aspect of my life which makes endeavours like this tricky when weight or fitness goals are the product of small, everyday choices when you have to be consistent. I'm also the sort of person to get incredibly stubborn when someone tries to make me do something or tell me I can't have something. So I think in thinking I 'can't' have something (even in allowing myself small treats I'm still placing value on it as something rare and not part of my normal diet) I'm triggering that stubborn ' I WILL have it' reaction. They do say the biggest step in this sort of thing is mastering your mind!

kommodevaran · January 2018

It's possible to work on your all or nothing tendencies. You counteract it by aiming for balance. Neutral and balanced information is crucial. I too used to think I needed a large portion; if I couldn't have that, I'd rather have nothing. Now that I know why it's hard to stop, it's easier to stop: The foods that are so easy to overeat, are purposely made that way - nutrients and fiber refined out, processed so we don't have to chew, flavors and colors added so it's irresistible, cheap and available everywhere, heavily marketed to be acceptable to eat at any time, anywhere, in any amount. This doesn't make it crap, but something we have to handle with caution. Too often caution is thrown to the wind, and then replaced by fear and loating, in an attempt to regain balance. This doesn't happen, it only feeds our desire, so we're caught in a perpetual on/off cycle.

A healthy diet provides you with enough of what you need every day, but not too much of anything over time. No foods are in themselves healthy or unhealthy; all foods provide something - even if it's just sugar and/or fat - in different amounts and proportions. No foods provide everything we need, we need a good mix to get all we need. This means that no foods are mandatory, and no foods are off-limit. When you've had the nutrients you need, you don't get extra credit for more of the same. Another banana will not make you "healthier" than a piece of birthday cake, and a piece of birthday cake will not make you "unhealthy". An unbalanced diet, one made up of just a narrow selection of foods, is unhealthy. Taking that to the extreme, is orthorexia. Ironically, because the aim was to be as healthy as possible. The thing is that there is no such thing as "extremely healthy". A genuinely healthy lifestyle isn't depressing. Health is about balance, happiness, enjoyment.

UltraVegAthlete · January 2018

daydreamercat1992 wrote: »

This usually happens with desserts and any kind of food that can be considered as empty calories. If i ate say a banana i can have another one (within my calorie limit) without feeling guilty bc i get some kind of nutrition from it. Like it has been months since the last time i had any kind of sugary/junk food type food. I didn't even eat my birthday cake. It is kind of depressing. Also i'm wondering if i'm developing orthorexic tendencies because of this.

I am recovering from BED after having a period of extreme hunger due to losing so much weight that I was underweight for a few months, and during this period of 4-5 months I could eat 10 bananas in a sitting, a jar of almond butter, 2 lbs of Dates, plus some more food. Sometimes it was unhealthy food, like a bag of vegan teriyaki chicken, 3 frozen Vegan pad Thai dinners, a pint of Vegan icecream, and a loaf of bread. Before I became underweight I was orthorexic and wouldn’t touch any kind of fat (no avocados or nuts or seeds), I avoided salt and oil and sugar like the plague, and I didn’t eat any grains (no rice, quinoa, wheat, couscous). And no processed anything! Not even orange juice or any juice. Eating an avocado while recovering from this disorder made me have a panic attack and cry.
I think avoiding certain things like oil, salt, sugar, and processed food isn’t disordered or unhealthy. Maybe have some salt every once in awhile. But avoiding fat! And grains! Unless there is a medical reason...do not avoid whole plant foods. If you want birthday cake, make it yourself out of wholesome ingredients so you know what’s in it. And you can even make an entire cake that you can eat all by yourself because it’s so healthy. Like using oat flour, Dates or bananas or applesauce to sweeten it, cashew milk, baking soda/powder, etc etc.
Ooo vegan black bean brownies! Those are nutritious.

SummerSkier · January 2018

OP, the 'all or nothing thing' is something I have struggled with before. Unfortunately. will power only can last so far and then boom. I think binging is a direct result and yo yo weight loss and gain. So.... what I do, is, I do portion control. At first with normal healthy type foods, and eventually with some of my favorites. For instance I LOVE bagels. But instead of having an entire bagel, I will toast half and put PB2 on it for an extra treat. The other half goes in the fridge for the next day or so. I know it is still there, but I also know that I will finish it later. For some reason this keeps me from having to gobble up everything in one sitting. There are some things I do NOT keep in the house because I have not yet learned to half gobble them but start small. Even ice cream I manage to buy a pint, split it in 2 and leave it in the freezer to eat one cup at a time over a week's period. I don't have cakes and cookies in the house because those are hard for one person to consume at a reasonable rate. But they do sell slices of cake and small packages of cookies if you love them. The biggest mistake I have made over 44 years of yo yo dieting was to think will power and NOT eating what I loved would work forever. It can work for weeks or even months but then BOOM it's like someone turns a faucet on and the self control is gone and the weight comes back.

ChelzFit · January 2018

When I was struggling with ED I noticed I had a hard time with this. I would completely try to eat 100% clean and then it was an all or nothing approach and I would binge and purge. It was a horrible cycle. It took me many years to come to the conclusion that calories in verse calories out are what matters. I now allow myself what I want to eat and I have noticed that my desire to binge has diminished. I still have issues when it comes to always feeling like I have to workout or get my steps in, but I feel like the food side of things have gotten a lot better because I am not restricting.

swim777 · January 2018

SummerSkier wrote: »

OP, the 'all or nothing thing' is something I have struggled with before. Unfortunately. will power only can last so far and then boom. I think binging is a direct result and yo yo weight loss and gain. So.... what I do, is, I do portion control. At first with normal healthy type foods, and eventually with some of my favorites. For instance I LOVE bagels. But instead of having an entire bagel, I will toast half and put PB2 on it for an extra treat. The other half goes in the fridge for the next day or so. I know it is still there, but I also know that I will finish it later. For some reason this keeps me from having to gobble up everything in one sitting. There are some things I do NOT keep in the house because I have not yet learned to half gobble them but start small. Even ice cream I manage to buy a pint, split it in 2 and leave it in the freezer to eat one cup at a time over a week's period. I don't have cakes and cookies in the house because those are hard for one person to consume at a reasonable rate. But they do sell slices of cake and small packages of cookies if you love them. The biggest mistake I have made over 44 years of yo yo dieting was to think will power and NOT eating what I loved would work forever. It can work for weeks or even months but then BOOM it's like someone turns a faucet on and the self control is gone and the weight comes back.

Really good thread! This is me! I can do really well for a bit and then....! Sunday’s are difficult for me. I eat breakfast because lunch will be late. (So I have a Low calorie one). (Normally I skip it). For lunch, we eat out which we usually don’t. If I want a cheeseburger because it’s the weekend and I have the calories saved, I’ll have a small one. If I have fries, I’ll have those and box up the burger for dinner. I can still have the things I crave, but I have to divide it up. Otherwise I’m left with no calories for dinner. Portion control helps me have something I enjoy every day.

All or nothing?

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