Overweight mom with toddler needs motivation

Hi everyone! It’s been a long time since I’ve taken this really seriously. Now that my kid’s sleeping through the night, I need to actually get fit and set a good example for my little one. I’m 35, 5’1, and have to lose 42-44 lbs to be at a good BMI. I have a toddler who keeps me busy after work. I don’t have a lot of time or money to go to the gym for classes but have been trying to do videos etc on the internet. Need some motivation and help with portion control esp when we eat out often. Hoping to connect with like minds to actually stay focused this time! Feel free to add me!

Replies

  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,169 Member
    Do you have to eat out often? It’s a lot easier to control what you’re eating, calorie-wise, if you prep your own food. It’s also just as fast or faster than a sit-down restaurant. But, if you’re going to restaurants, consider asking for two plates and you can share one order with the toddler. If it’s drive-through, eat just half of the burger and skip the fries. And to help me stay full, I started drinking more water.
  • CaVaChick
    CaVaChick Posts: 5 Member
    I'm 35, going to be 36 in a few days, and am a Mommy of two Toddlers (3years and 2years old &they're 13 months apart).
  • summerbest
    summerbest Posts: 5 Member
    I’m a 44 mommy of a 3.5 y/o! My membership at the YMCA is 23$ a month. With this they have free childcare! That alone gives him time to play with others while I de stress from the long day at the office. It is good for both of us! In good weather....The jogging stroller goes about 5 Miles in summer time as soon as we pull in the driveway and in areas that are trails....my lil guy gets out and runs and I can still walk very fast behind him....then we stop at the playground and I do the teeter totter with him which is a good squat workout. We very rarely are inside and not much TV. I find when I’m organized at the house and laundry done I can dedicate a schedule for exercise and healthy eating plans. I’m human, do have some lazy days:). You can do it!
  • summerbest
    summerbest Posts: 5 Member
    .....also, try not eating out so much and plan quick healthy meals. Aldies grocery has a great healthy line. Grass fed meat can also be so much healthier and if your from a rural area can be cheaper than store bought processed everything. That alone will save you a fortune and calories. Good luck!
  • AndOne8675
    AndOne8675 Posts: 151 Member
    I am at a gym that has free child care and a discount when you join with a current member...both the gyms in the area do the discount. But...FREE CHILD CARE!!!. I get to bust my butt in the gym free of worry that I'm gunna kick my 5 yo in the gut, happened, or almost take her out with a dumbbell, sooooo *kitten* close.
    I'm using 30 dollars of the money I saved eating out less and generally just eating less to pay for it.
  • sokie88
    sokie88 Posts: 30 Member
    I am at a gym that has free child care and a discount when you join with a current member...both the gyms in the area do the discount. But...FREE CHILD CARE!!!. I get to bust my butt in the gym free of worry that I'm gunna kick my 5 yo in the gut, happened, or almost take her out with a dumbbell, sooooo *kitten* close.
    I'm using 30 dollars of the money I saved eating out less and generally just eating less to pay for it.

    Omg where? I’m in Canada. The memberships are like $70/month and childcare is $8 an hour at the gym!
  • sokie88
    sokie88 Posts: 30 Member
    summerbest wrote: »
    .....also, try not eating out so much and plan quick healthy meals. Aldies grocery has a great healthy line. Grass fed meat can also be so much healthier and if your from a rural area can be cheaper than store bought processed everything. That alone will save you a fortune and calories. Good luck!

    I’m in Toronto, Canada and food is obnoxiously expensive. In fact we go to New York sometimes just to get cheap food and shop. The eating out is out of necessity sometimes. Although I know that’s an excuse for not prepping properly. I work until 4:30 by the time I pick my kid up at 5:30, she is starving and crying. So we head to a nearby restaurant so the child doesn’t starve. I should spend time to make ready to eat meals the night before but I’m exhausted. My hours are 6am to 8:30pm before I have any downtime. I have down time at 8:30 until bed at 10. I clean during that time and veg a bit. I’ve started doing videos during this time which is a start. I also have portion control issues which is why I need to stay motivated to track. I will try to make more of an effort. We make decent choices when eating out but it’s hard to count calories.
  • sokie88
    sokie88 Posts: 30 Member
    summerbest wrote: »
    I’m a 44 mommy of a 3.5 y/o! My membership at the YMCA is 23$ a month. With this they have free childcare! That alone gives him time to play with others while I de stress from the long day at the office. It is good for both of us! In good weather....The jogging stroller goes about 5 Miles in summer time as soon as we pull in the driveway and in areas that are trails....my lil guy gets out and runs and I can still walk very fast behind him....then we stop at the playground and I do the teeter totter with him which is a good squat workout. We very rarely are inside and not much TV. I find when I’m organized at the house and laundry done I can dedicate a schedule for exercise and healthy eating plans. I’m human, do have some lazy days:). You can do it!

    Our Y is $70/month and about 5 miles away. I had a membership before when I was home with the baby, but it’s just a timing issue now. I do love the Y though.
  • sokie88
    sokie88 Posts: 30 Member
    Do you have to eat out often? It’s a lot easier to control what you’re eating, calorie-wise, if you prep your own food. It’s also just as fast or faster than a sit-down restaurant. But, if you’re going to restaurants, consider asking for two plates and you can share one order with the toddler. If it’s drive-through, eat just half of the burger and skip the fries. And to help me stay full, I started drinking more water.

    All great tips! Thank you. I know my answers are excuses so please forgive me. We eat out because I literally only have 2 hours a day with my child which includes dinner and bedtime. I try to make dinner but she’s already hungry when we get home after work. She will not eat after 5:45 and by the time we get home from daycare it’s 5:35! Eating out just solves that problem for us. We do try to get healthy options like roast chicken with salads etc but it’s still adding up. Portion control is definitely my weakness. I share a meal with her most times but she’s not a big eater so still most of it is me eating. I will clean her plate and then my husband’s!! What is wrong with me? If the option wasn’t there I wouldn’t need it, but if food is in front of me I will finish it. How does one stop that habit?
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I would save time and money and ditch the gym as well as eat out less often, and get motivated by cooking delicious but portion controlled meals. Oh, wait, that's what I'm already doing :D
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    sokie88 wrote: »
    Do you have to eat out often? It’s a lot easier to control what you’re eating, calorie-wise, if you prep your own food. It’s also just as fast or faster than a sit-down restaurant. But, if you’re going to restaurants, consider asking for two plates and you can share one order with the toddler. If it’s drive-through, eat just half of the burger and skip the fries. And to help me stay full, I started drinking more water.

    All great tips! Thank you. I know my answers are excuses so please forgive me. We eat out because I literally only have 2 hours a day with my child which includes dinner and bedtime. I try to make dinner but she’s already hungry when we get home after work. She will not eat after 5:45 and by the time we get home from daycare it’s 5:35! Eating out just solves that problem for us. We do try to get healthy options like roast chicken with salads etc but it’s still adding up. Portion control is definitely my weakness. I share a meal with her most times but she’s not a big eater so still most of it is me eating. I will clean her plate and then my husband’s!! What is wrong with me? If the option wasn’t there I wouldn’t need it, but if food is in front of me I will finish it. How does one stop that habit?
    You stop a habit by not allowing it anymore, and adjusting your attitude. Just as your daughter has to get used to eat when it's time to eat, and not ten minutes earlier just so you can't eat a home, you either cook at home and cook as much as you need, or eat out and eat as much as you need.
  • CaVaChick
    CaVaChick Posts: 5 Member
    I completely understand. My work and home life schedules are tight and with very little wiggle room. My day starts at 6 am to 4pm at work and 4:30pm to 8:30pm at night at home with my two Toddlers. It is very hard and can relate to your plight.

    HOWEVER, I have slowly found where I can make changes and adjustments where I can still try to function as a working Mommy and still have a little time for myself.

    Add me if you'd like and we can motivate and bounce some busy Mommy ideas off each other. Would live a Mommy in a similar situation to talk and comprehend some of the daily struggles.
  • MegansMom2011
    MegansMom2011 Posts: 355 Member
    I can relate so much. I gained all the weight back that I'd lost before becoming pregnant wth my toddler, while breastfeeding. My husband was admitted to 4 different alcoholic rehab centers within 3 months before he was successful at getting sober. He was gone a total of 6 months, the first 6 months of my son's life, while I was nursing, starting a new career, and helping my at the time 4 year old daughter understand that her daddy is sick and we aren't sure when he'll be home. I barely held it together during that time and can relate to the exhaustion and hungry children after work. I often was hungry too, so we went to fast food and we frequently ate cereal for dinner, while I nursed my son. I had to get up 3 hours before leaving the house each day in order to get everything and everyone ready and be on time. This meant waking up at 4am, after nursing my newborn son all night. It was exhausting. I'm now able to exercise and eat better since my husband has been home, but it is still a work in progress. I have been doing squats in the bathroom at work, through the squat challenge, and just taking a longer bathroom break. Now, I am exercising with my daughter doing home exercise videos. My son sometimes joins in, but the video is only 30 minutes. In reality, there are 24 hours in the day, so I know I can handle 30 minutes of bonding with my daughter. Meals are made on the weekends and we reheat leftovers all week. I hope this helps you remember that your work out doesn't have to be long. It's okay to be stinky from sweat!
  • sokie88
    sokie88 Posts: 30 Member
    Thank you for this. That must have been so tough! It’s been a lot more manageable lately since work has slowed down and I’m hot working 12 hours a day. I’ve been prepping my lunch and breakfasts for work and made a few l easy meals for the week. Hoping to get walks In during my lunch to hit my 10k step target. I know it’s doable, it’s just making the effort. Thank you for sharing your struggles and how you’re managing to work everything out. It is very inspiring.
  • AdinaRin
    AdinaRin Posts: 12 Member
    edited January 2018
    For the next week, you should track every dollar you spend at dinner with your little one. Odds are, it may be close to if not more than what a gym membership would cost you every month. I attribute my weight loss to the gym. The energy there, the habit I developed to go, etc. Depending on what gym you sign up at, you could possibly go during your lunch breaks and on the weekends with your little one. I find that working out at home is so much harder for me because I just want to rest and spend time with my four year old when we are home. I also work 6:30am to 4:00pm every day. Pick my son up from pre-school after work and have to make dinner as well. Lately I have been developing the habit of going to the gym at 4:30-5:00am. It may sound crazy but it feels so good to be active and disciplined. An idea for your daughter being hungry... Bring a healthy snack with you every day to work so that when you get off and go pick her up, she has something to hold her over until dinner. I used to do this with my son. The crockpot should also be your best friend. You can make delicious and healthy meals every single night of the work week. Pinterest is the Mecca for recipes. Every reason you have that prevents you from achieving your goals can be combated with a solution; you just have to want it enough. You have one life, and so much power over yourself. You might as well take control and fight for the happiness and health that you and your daughter deserve. I was a very unhappy, overweight and single mother when I started my journey, and it was so very hard. Now, I wouldn't trade this new life I have made for myself for the world.
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
    Have you tried giving her a little snack when you pick her up at daycare? When my kids were little I always had a little snack on hand and rotated toys to keep in my purse. They'd stay occupied with a toy they hadn't seen in a while and some Cheerios, half of a Z Bar, or grapes.
    Prepping your meals on the weekend will save you time, money, and energy. There are tons of meal prep ideas on Youtube if you're interested. Food prepping with set amounts of food will help with portion control.
    Sometimes we get into a rut and think that there's no other way to do things and nothing else will work so we're stuck in our bad habits. Not true. Try something new and see if it works for you. It's hard to make changes but as so many people say, how bad do you want it?
  • Chi2Vegas
    Chi2Vegas Posts: 10 Member
    Feel free to add me. Love to give you encouragement. I invested in a basic small treadmill that I do early in the morning before my toddler wakes up. It has helped my energy and gets my steps in the day.
  • sokie88
    sokie88 Posts: 30 Member
    Have you tried giving her a little snack when you pick her up at daycare? When my kids were little I always had a little snack on hand and rotated toys to keep in my purse. They'd stay occupied with a toy they hadn't seen in a while and some Cheerios, half of a Z Bar, or grapes.
    Prepping your meals on the weekend will save you time, money, and energy. There are tons of meal prep ideas on Youtube if you're interested. Food prepping with set amounts of food will help with portion control.
    Sometimes we get into a rut and think that there's no other way to do things and nothing else will work so we're stuck in our bad habits. Not true. Try something new and see if it works for you. It's hard to make changes but as so many people say, how bad do you want it?

    The problem with the snack after daycare is that she doesn’t eat dinner at all afterwards. Even if it’s just a little clementine. My daughter has a window and just refuses food after her window. She’s always been a bad eater. I’ve asked hubby to make her food before we get home and that has helped but sometimes he’s out working and cant do it which is when we resort to eating out. She and her dad are both quite underweight because for some reason they don’t get hungry very often and forget to eat. Her dad is the same in that if he doesn’t eat by 6:30 at the latest he just won’t eat dinner. Maybe I’ll just give her a PB sandwich with some carrot sticks. At least it’s somewhat balanced.
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
    sokie88 wrote: »
    Have you tried giving her a little snack when you pick her up at daycare? When my kids were little I always had a little snack on hand and rotated toys to keep in my purse. They'd stay occupied with a toy they hadn't seen in a while and some Cheerios, half of a Z Bar, or grapes.
    Prepping your meals on the weekend will save you time, money, and energy. There are tons of meal prep ideas on Youtube if you're interested. Food prepping with set amounts of food will help with portion control.
    Sometimes we get into a rut and think that there's no other way to do things and nothing else will work so we're stuck in our bad habits. Not true. Try something new and see if it works for you. It's hard to make changes but as so many people say, how bad do you want it?

    The problem with the snack after daycare is that she doesn’t eat dinner at all afterwards. Even if it’s just a little clementine. My daughter has a window and just refuses food after her window. She’s always been a bad eater. I’ve asked hubby to make her food before we get home and that has helped but sometimes he’s out working and cant do it which is when we resort to eating out. She and her dad are both quite underweight because for some reason they don’t get hungry very often and forget to eat. Her dad is the same in that if he doesn’t eat by 6:30 at the latest he just won’t eat dinner. Maybe I’ll just give her a PB sandwich with some carrot sticks. At least it’s somewhat balanced.

    If you food prep you'll probably be eating in a similar amount of time than you would if you drove to a restaurant and ordered. I don't think there's anything wrong with her eating a healthy dinner on the way home.

    But I've just reread your OP and it doesn't sound like you were asking for help on eating at home. It sounds like you're set on eating out because that works for your family and you're looking for help with portion control. Besides sharing a meal as you've said you're doing, it's really about self control and determination. Planning ahead and logging ahead helps too.
  • shampbj
    shampbj Posts: 33 Member
    I'm not going to tell you you have to have a gym membership to lose weight. It's simply not true. What is true is that you have make some changes if what you are currently doing isn't working. Maybe it's skipping the breadbasket at dinner, or ordering roasted veggies on the side instead of a carb. Or maybe it's ordering the full luxurious entree and dividing it in two. What works for one person may not be sustainable for somebody else. I learned that I want to keep my glass of wine, and I'm willing to skip the breadbasket to do it. Maybe try to get in a little more activity at the office too. I try to do a walking meeting during the day or, on rainy/bad weather days, take a lap through the hallways any time I'm taking a bathroom break. Little changes can add up--it's all about making the choices that make you happy while achieving your results.
  • sokie88
    sokie88 Posts: 30 Member
    shampbj wrote: »
    I'm not going to tell you you have to have a gym membership to lose weight. It's simply not true. What is true is that you have make some changes if what you are currently doing isn't working. Maybe it's skipping the breadbasket at dinner, or ordering roasted veggies on the side instead of a carb. Or maybe it's ordering the full luxurious entree and dividing it in two. What works for one person may not be sustainable for somebody else. I learned that I want to keep my glass of wine, and I'm willing to skip the breadbasket to do it. Maybe try to get in a little more activity at the office too. I try to do a walking meeting during the day or, on rainy/bad weather days, take a lap through the hallways any time I'm taking a bathroom break. Little changes can add up--it's all about making the choices that make you happy while achieving your results.

    Thanks. I generally get a salad, so maybe it's the dressing. Again for me, regardless of eating out or in is portion control. At home, I've been weighing my food and if i'm still hungry i'll fill up on salad with just balsamic vinegar to keep within cals. Maybe I need a scale while out? Not a good option considering i'd probably forget it half the time, but something to consider. I think having my phone out to log the portion before i order/eat will help.
  • mamma_adventure
    mamma_adventure Posts: 235 Member
    Hi. I live in Scotland. I'm a working single mum with a 4 year old son and 3 year old twin girls. I find that sticking to 1200 caps a day, weighing my food I can lose without a lot of exercise. When I can I walk with the kids. On a Sunday, I am childfree and usually climb a hill or walk a long distance.
    I have a slow cooker, I work until 6pm, so everyone is hungry when we get in. It really is just being prepared.
    You can do this :)
  • sokie88
    sokie88 Posts: 30 Member
    Hi. I live in Scotland. I'm a working single mum with a 4 year old son and 3 year old twin girls. I find that sticking to 1200 caps a day, weighing my food I can lose without a lot of exercise. When I can I walk with the kids. On a Sunday, I am childfree and usually climb a hill or walk a long distance.
    I have a slow cooker, I work until 6pm, so everyone is hungry when we get in. It really is just being prepared.
    You can do this :)

    Truly amazing! I don't know how you do it with 3 young kids. I've only lost weight and kept it off if I exercise as well. 3 years ago, i was 10lbs heavier than I am now. I lost weight by going to the gym and eating well. Even after having a baby, i was still 20 lbs lighter than my heaviest. But since starting back at work, I've gained 10 lbs back from the 20 i lost. I sit all day at work and don't really leave my desk so really, when I don't get up all day, i only burn about 1400 calories a day so losing is hard since my calorie deficit is less than 200 calories a day - it would be like 1 lb a month! I can run in the spring/summer but it's -30C right now with the wind so that's just not doable at this moment. I've been making meals and leaving them in the fridge for us to just heat and serve at dinner. That has helped me stay within reasonable calories daily. Taking the time to be organized really is the only way to get on track. Thanks for the motivation!