How is this affecting your relationships?

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Nikki_is_Knotty
Nikki_is_Knotty Posts: 248 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have been dating the most amazing guy, and my best friend, for a year and a half. I just started MFP about 2 months ago. Our relationship is good still! We have a little less time together since i am going to the gym more. So i am just wondering how your new lifestyle is affecting your relationship? My honey isnt trying to eat healthier but he does help me to! He is very supportive of my new lifestyle but i dont want it to ever get in between us. Has that happened to anyone else? Does there ever feel like there is a wedge between you? Or on the other side of things, how do you keep as close when they dont eat healthy/work out with you?

I am a worry wart and that is bad, things are good now, just want to keep them good as i change.

Replies

  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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    Yeah, but abs really add to the 'bow chica wow wow' factor of the relationship... or so I tell myself.
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
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    One thing I've learned from all my nagging is - don't nag. Not saying you are, but just advising you. I'm married, have been 6 years, and together for 11. It almost tore us apart. I stopped for a good year of bothering him about his weight, and he has recently been saying things to me about it, but also says it's too much work after seeing all I've put forth to lose all the weight. I don't think he'll ever be a health nut and fitness fanatic like me, but there's hope. So my advice? Maybe he'll feel the peer pressure, maybe he won't...but always make time for him, but prioritize your health.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    Well, gym time is "me-time" - I don't really go with anyone. I vary the times I go to the gym so that we still get some evenings together.

    But we do go Scottish dancing together, so that's a healthy joint interest.

    Food wise, he's great at trying new foods, and admits we're eating so much better than ever before. But I make enough so's he can have larger portions than me, or there'll be bread or something available to fill him up.
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
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    I have been dating the most amazing guy, and my best friend, for a year and a half. I just started MFP about 2 months ago. Our relationship is good still! We have a little less time together since i am going to the gym more. So i am just wondering how your new lifestyle is affecting your relationship? My honey isnt trying to eat healthier but he does help me to! He is very supportive of my new lifestyle but i dont want it to ever get in between us. Has that happened to anyone else? Does there ever feel like there is a wedge between you? Or on the other side of things, how do you keep as close when they dont eat healthy/work out with you?

    I am a worry wart and that is bad, things are good now, just want to keep them good as i change.

    It's great that you are conscious of your health and making time for yourself to get your workouts in! No one can fault you for time spent at the gym. My only suggestion is that you keep your nutritional goals to yourself and try not to spend too much time talking about diet and exercise. It's only a part of your life. Your man will be happy for you when you reach certain milestones! But if he is not on this journey with you, he won't want to hear about every little calorie you eat or the meals you messed up on. This is something I was doing without even realizing it until my husband pointed it out a while ago. Since then, I keep any talk about MFP and my weight loss ups/downs to a minimum. Glad you found a great guy!
  • 16mixingbowls
    16mixingbowls Posts: 205 Member
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    I'm off to go fishing with my BF but want to read/respond to this thread when I get home. It's an interesting topic and one that is on my mind.
  • starpi22
    starpi22 Posts: 74
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    My husband is pretty supportive, but he has gained a few pounds since I have lost some weight, mainly because he still buys what he wants like chips and I'm not there it eat the other half of the bag. :laugh: So, I think he now realizes that he has to make some changes too. Otherwise I think that this has been a positive thing for the whole family.
  • tostes
    tostes Posts: 14 Member
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    Honestly, there have been times that I wish my husband would get up and join me working out. Sometimes I am jealous that he will sit and eat cookies and huge bowl of ice cream and I have to say "no I don't want any".

    But then when he tells me I look like Ive lost weight and I am not, (his exact words) "not so bumpy" it makes me feel better and know that what I am doing is for me.

    He does support me, I have had to get over my own guilt of being at the gym more, because I know in the long run, it is going to give me more quality time with my family since I will be able to live longer, do more physical things and in general be a happier person.
  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
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    We've been together almost 10 years. I started making my changes in February. I sat him down and explained what I was doing, why I was doing it, and that this was my choice. I wasn't going to force him to do anything, but because I do most of the grocery shopping and cooking, I laid out for him how it would impact him. I let him know if he got seconds, that was fine, but I wasn't making any. I let him know if he wanted soda and pizza rolls, he could buy them, I wouldn't be.

    After about a month, I was getting results and he joined MFP thinking it would help me. Once he started getting results, things shifted again. I'm very lucky to have the amount of support I've had.

    My family has been supportive, but this is my choice, so if they're cooking, they're not cooking for me. Friends are another story.
  • Photoology
    Photoology Posts: 121 Member
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    I have had this happen not only with my bf but also my best friends.

    As much as it makes me worry, I just remind myself of MY goals. At the end of the day, I want to be happy and have to be selfish about it.

    If you feel the wedge between the two of you, talk to him about it and keep the lines of communication open. I also have found a group of wonderful women to run with and this way, I spend my time with them and talk about my journey and then when I am with my boyfriend, we can move on and talk about other things.

    Oh and I also almost always offer to cook because I need options to eat and usually he will eat when I cook.
  • JsGirl93
    JsGirl93 Posts: 1,156
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    My hubs is a full on health nut, so he's 100% on board. He also loves how me looking better & therefore feeling better about myself affects our relationship. We go to the gym together, though we are not together th whole time - different goals. We love to get in the car &gossip about who's hot & who THINKS they're hot! Lol
  • Steel6981
    Steel6981 Posts: 154 Member
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    We've been married for 26 years so there is an expectation that age will take a certain toll on weight and fitness. With a young daughter, however, we both are trying to get healthier. What I've realized is men get healthier in different ways than women. My husband can focus only on food choices and take off a lot more than i can. I have to exercise and more dramtically change food choices. Also men don't seem to want to talk about it as much. The up side is, when they do pay you a compliment, at least to me it means something. When I hug my husband and he tells me he can tell I've lost, I know I can trust that he isn't just saying that. If it is enough to catch his attention then I know I've made a change. A good guy won't care emotionally whether you are overweight or not, will support you when you're ready to change, and will help you along the way - but it may be in his own way not the way you may have anticipated.

    Sue

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