Discussing weight and teens

Agree with above posters; look out for her mental health. Make sure you're encouraging healthy social/emotional habits. It's not always a sign of distress, but sometimes it is. As far as physical health: lead by example, cook plenty of tasty veggies, and maybe help her get into physical activity; but personally I don't think I would bring up how she's eating/how she looks.

In my opinion you shouldn't tell her that you think she is gaining weight but maybe instead let her even out but also use it as an opportunity to spend time with her. Ask her to go on walks/runs with you, sign up for a marathon, go to the gym together, have friendly competition or something.

12 years old is when puberty really kicks in for girls and they go through that awkward and chunky stage. If you go to her school you will see a lot of girls look like that. Most grow out of it. Just make sure she is active.

I don’t know how overweight she is so this is my experience. I was a chunky child and overweight/obese teen and adult. I could hear my mom talking to my aunt about how fat I was when I was a kid. I was a little chunky, but really really active. It didn’t help my self esteem to hear the whispers, it just made me hide eating and gain more weight. Also even though I struggled with weight my mom still bought junk food (chips and Little Debbie snack cakes) and cooked fattening foods because dad wouldn’t eat veggies. We also had to wait until dad came home from work around 9 pm to eat dinner. So we sncked on junk until dinner and then ate a big dinner. She never really tried to help me eat healthy or tell me two or three or four packs of snack cakes were too many. She just bought more boxes and expected us to have self control.

I think as parents we buy the food they eat. If you want them to be healthy, we can’t buy junk and we have to cook healthy meals. I think it’s totally acceptable to tell them no second dinners, that’s not good for you. Also, you can tell them to not eat tons of fries and cookies or full sugar sodas or fast food. They are kids and unless we tell them it’s not good for you, most will eat it. When they are able to drive and get their own fast food and soda at the corner store is when they will will be accountable for their choices. Right now you can help by providing healthy choices and not buying the junk food and making sure she stays active.

misskarne wrote: »

ITUSGirl51 wrote: »

I think as parents we buy the food they eat. If you want them to be healthy, we can’t buy junk and we have to cook healthy meals. I think it’s totally acceptable to tell them no second dinners, that’s not good for you. Also, you can tell them to not eat tons of fries and cookies or full sugar sodas or fast food. They are kids and unless we tell them it’s not good for you, most will eat it. When they are able to drive and get their own fast food and soda at the corner store is when they will will be accountable for their choices. Right now you can help by providing healthy choices and not buying the junk food and making sure she stays active.

Just wanted to say, be very VERY cautious about this. If you demonise food or heavily restrict certain types, what happens as soon as the kid is old enough and has enough income of their own? Yup, they go buy and eat all of that food that they've been told is terrible.

Moderation should be taught. It's okay to have a treat. It's okay to have some chippies one day. It's okay to have a chocolate because you did well on that test.

(And yes, I was that kid that, as soon as I was at university and had an income of my own and was out from under my parents' nose all the time, I bought from the university food outlets regularly. They had a wicked chips'n'gravy. Delicious in moderation. Not so great when you're eating it all the time and reducing your physical exercise.)

That’s freshman 15. My daughter is a junior in college and she and her friends all gained 15 or more pounds when they went off to school. They had to make their own food choices without parents making sure they weren’t filling up with junk. Last semester she got sick of eating all the junk and is again making better choices that we taught her about while she was under our care. She has lost weight by making better choices.

I’m not saying to demonize food, but it’s our jobs to make sure our children understand nutrition and teach them to make better choices. We aren’t always perfect, but she knows what a healthy choice is vs not so healthy. She knows if she wants ice cream, it’s ok but don’t get 2 giant scoops. One is probably enough. She is an adult and has to decide without us.

Btw, she went to the dentist after going to college for a year and they told her she did a good job of taking care of her teeth. They said most kids come home with lots of plaque and bleeding gums and cavities because they stopped brushing their teeth when they went away to college. Mom wasn’t there to tell them to brush. So they just stopped.

ITUSGirl51 wrote: »

That’s freshman 15. My daughter is a junior in college and she and her friends all gained 15 or more pounds when they went off to school. They had to make their own food choices without parents making sure they weren’t filling up with junk. Last semester she got sick of eating all the junk and is again making better choices that we taught her about while she was under our care. She has lost weight by making better choices.

I can assure you, it was a damn sight more than 15 kilos...I weighed 70kg at one point in uni. I left uni weighing at least 95kg.

ITUSGirl51 wrote: »

Btw, she went to the dentist after going to college for a year and they told her she did a good job of taking care of her teeth. They said most kids come home with lots of plaque and bleeding gums and cavities because they stopped brushing their teeth when they went away to college. Mom wasn’t there to tell them to brush. So they just stopped.

That is possibly one of the most gross disgusting things I have heard today. What is wrong
with those people? You shouldn't need someone to remind you to brush? Are these adults or kindergartners?