Depressed & struggling with everything & why isn't there a "Goal: Losing Weight" message board here?

revclem
revclem Posts: 2 Member
edited November 2024 in Introduce Yourself
Ok, I'll babble on about myself.

I really need to stick to my diet/exercise plan. I did very well in 2015, and lost 23 pounds (of my ~40 lbs goal). The last two years have been unimaginably depressing for me, and I've gained about 17 of those pounds back. And now, it's so hard to feel motivated (for eating healthy & exercising, and also with everything else in my life).

At the same time, I'm now 40, and feel as though I'm hopelessly unfit with probably clogged arteries and who-knows-what-else medical problems... I don't want to turn into my dad (so unhealthy and overweight and not self-sufficient before he died) or any of the countless other older people I see struggling and not being ambulatory...

...not that I'm that far gone... YET! I used to be a very fit athlete (though with many unhealthy eating habits, like surprisingly many athletes), and I'm now about 40-50 pounds heavier than my competition weight. But, I'm very scared, and depressed, and yet it's so hard to remain motivated, and to eat well. I have a little better luck following my pretty good exercise plan (centered around kayaking and elliptical work -- which has definitely had a track record of success for me, over the years).

Now, why isn't there a "Goal: Losing Weight" message board on here? There are sections for "Goal: Gaining Weight" (oh to be so lucky), and "Goal: Maintaining Weight" -- but weight loss is grouped into the diet advice section! Looking at all the thin muscle-bound people and their user photos is extremely disheartening -- that's why I don't go to public gyms! I didn't become a member here to feel worse about myself, for goodness sakes.

I have major depression issues, obviously. And I'm a musician, so eating a second breakfast at 2 a.m. is a part of the job (a part that I must avoid, along with many other things).

Make me feel better, people of myfitnesspal.

I never looked at the "community" options till today -- I assume anyone on here is really a Russian hacker or troll or something. But, that's ok, I guess... Russian hackers can probably have weight issues, too -- although Russian food is apparently pretty low in fat. Anyway, *I'm* not in Russia.

Replies

  • pamfgil
    pamfgil Posts: 449 Member
    edited January 2018
    I think that it's because losing weight is the default, so only the non default options are spelled out. Be kind to yourself, to increase your chances of success, at least as much as you would be for someone else in your position
  • Momepro
    Momepro Posts: 1,509 Member
    Don't worry, there's no Goal:Weight Loss section because the majority of people here are trying to lose, and most areas are just subsections of that. Don't think of the muscle bound people as competition, most of those are after pictures of very hard work.Theyprobably deservetobe proud. Or else they arepart of the active singles groups, around here. There is quite a lot of flirting and hookup talk. Butif you are not interested in that,it's not to hard to avoid and ignore.

    Otherwise,welcome to the group, relax have some fun,and don't take things too seriously,and you might be surprised at how much easier reaching your goal will actually be.
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    There is a general weight loss board. There's no need for any thing else.

    Why can you not eat at 2am? You can eat any time you like.
    You just need to eat less calories than you burn.

    As for people's photos most if not all of them worked their *kitten* arses off to look that way. It's not about you.
  • bigjonb4116
    bigjonb4116 Posts: 155 Member
    I am already envious of the fact that you are a musician-( i can't play a note!!) and i wish i only had 40 -50lbs left to lose.... ( glass half empty or half full scenario?)
    I am fortunate that i have never suffered from depression, even when i weighed 456lbs,and to be honest i can't even imagine what it must be like for you. But assuming that your weight is not the only thing depressing you, it may be one of the easier problems to solve- or at least get positive results from which will make you feel better about yourself...
    kayaking and elliptical work ( which you have mentioned in your post )and a calorie deficit and you will be well on your way to losing the weight that you want.

    ultimately no one can lose our weight for us, its taken me till 50yrs old to get the right mindset to lose it. we all waver from time to time, that is human nature, but there is lots of great support on here,
    feel free to send me a friend request.

    I Am soooooo envious that you are a Musician!!!! good luck with your weightloss.



  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    edited January 2018
    Unfortunately weightloss is a mindset. If you think you can't do it for whatever reason--you won't. So look at your depression, since you need to get that under control to better your life. Then plug your stats into MFP and it will give you a daily calorie goal. Buy yourself a nice digital food scale and start weighing and measuring everything you eat and drink. Try to stay within your daily goal everyday. See how it goes for a couple of weeks. If you can move more, even walking is good to start. Take your measurements or take photos so you can compare every now and again and see progress--keep a journal weekly if you do measurements. This is all it takes to change you life. Good luck!
    PS: those skinny, muscular profile pics are usually hard earned. Some of those people started out obese. If you read some of their success stories they are incredible. Those people don't take well to whining or excuses as to why you can't do something. They've been on the other side. If they give you advice--listen up.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,174 Member
    Instead of thinking of these photo's of people who have achieved their goals as disheartening, why not put a positive spin on it, a lot of these people started out like yourself and have used MFP as a tool to get from a place of low self-esteem and have worked hard to get to the point where they are now proud to show off that hard work.

    It wouldn't be very motivating for me if there was no-one successful here to get inspiration and information from. As for the gym there are people of all sizes, shapes and abilities at the gym not just super-fit people.

    The General Diet and Weight Loss board is for those with a weight loss goal, there are additional boards for Food & Nutrition, Exercise and Motivation. Not sure what more you need?
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    You weigh 40-50 pounds past your ideal, are depressed, and fearful of disability.

    When is the last time you went for a medical checkup? You might be in better shape than you imagine. You might be able to get some help for that depression as well.

    Elliptical and kayaking sounds wonderful.

    What is the calorie goal that MFP gives you? I am sure you can fit in a 2 AM breakfast with a little juggling. Maybe replace one of your other meals with a soup or salad.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    About the gym thing. Many people don't realize that it's just the opposite of what you're thinking. It's the fit people that get all the looks and attention. The overweight people get a glance, and then back to work.
  • alleyhamilton1908
    alleyhamilton1908 Posts: 1 Member
    I used to be embarrassed in the gym of looking silly to others, but now I realize everyone is so focused on their own workout they aren’t paying anyone else any attention! I have found the gym to be a fun place, and love smiling at all the different people working on bettering themselves, just like me
  • revclem
    revclem Posts: 2 Member
    After working pretty steadily on the elliptical for the last 2 weeks, I've lost 3 lbs so far... that's a nice start -- still need to improve my diet, though.

    I still think there should be a specific weight loss section here, but I guess that's just me. *shrug*

    Even back when I was a fine physical specimen myself (I used to swim about 4 miles every day, for years -- so I know what it's like to work hard to be in great shape), I still felt self-conscious and frightened in gym situations. Low self-esteem introverts have a little trouble with public gyms, no matter how awesome we may actually look.

    That's ok -- I own a very nice elliptical machine, and a suitable basic weight machine, and a kayak. All I need is gentle motivation, and not to sink into depression.... and maybe some apple turnovers... no, no, not those.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 19,273 Member
    revclem wrote: »
    After working pretty steadily on the elliptical for the last 2 weeks, I've lost 3 lbs so far... that's a nice start -- still need to improve my diet, though.

    I still think there should be a specific weight loss section here, but I guess that's just me. *shrug*

    Even back when I was a fine physical specimen myself (I used to swim about 4 miles every day, for years -- so I know what it's like to work hard to be in great shape), I still felt self-conscious and frightened in gym situations. Low self-esteem introverts have a little trouble with public gyms, no matter how awesome we may actually look.

    That's ok -- I own a very nice elliptical machine, and a suitable basic weight machine, and a kayak. All I need is gentle motivation, and not to sink into depression.... and maybe some apple turnovers... no, no, not those.

    Pretty much the whole forum, aside from the maintaining, gaining, chit chat and fun & games is all specifically weight loss.
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