Why do we keep failing

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bklyngal72
bklyngal72 Posts: 42 Member
in Getting Started
Not sure why it's so hard to stay on goal...what helps to keep you focused?

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  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,521 Member
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    Determination!
  • Falklang
    Falklang Posts: 220 Member
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    State of mind & goals for me. I've finally accepted that this whole fat loss journey is all to do with the way we address fat loss. If we come from it as a "diet" mentally instead of a complete lifestyle change, then we just set ourselves up for failure. Enjoy the foods you like but in moderation and whilst staying within your calorie budget.

    Also setup load of little goals leading to your ultimate goal that mean something to you, so you always have something to strive towards. I currently have a short, medium, long and ultimate goal to strive towards, as well as little micro goals i go for each week (getting exercise in, drinking enough water, losing a certain amount of weight etc.)
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited January 2018
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    We fail by not differenciating between the goal and what it takes to get there. I want to stay healthy and normal weight, and to do that I have to eat and move in ways that makes it happen, and think and feel in helpful ways. If I should only focus on the goal, I would blindly choose a cookiecutter "eat less, move more", which in previous attempts was eating lean and green, and going to the gym. That is very far from what I like and need. I want and need good food, I just have to stop eating all the time. I get plenty of exercise just from normal daily activity - walking, working and playing. I enjoy this lifestyle. It still takes discipline to stick to.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,136 Member
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    I think a lot of people quit (I won't say fail because many come back time and time again) because they make it more difficult than it needs to be, thinking they have to do crazy amounts of exercise and make drastic changes to their diet that involve starving themselves on nothing but salads.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,345 Member
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    I want to stay slim badly enough so I keep on keeping on.
  • justlog
    justlog Posts: 125 Member
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    When someone is truly ready to make the change... they will. Great intentions to start but no true motivation to sustain. People constantly come here seeking friends for motivation. That's a failure from the start. Friends for the community aspect and perhaps to get inspired, I can see. Motivation begins and ends with self.
  • SteamPug
    SteamPug Posts: 262 Member
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    I can’t quit now, it’d erase all the hard work I put in so far and I can’t deal with how disappointed I’d be in myself.
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,521 Member
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    I should add that humans clearly evolved to be opportunistic overeaters. It seems to me that this is more true for women then men, maybe due to the requirements of childbearing. Malnutrition continues to be a major problem in many parts of the world, so the ability to overeat was and is critical to survival. We also are capable of eating an incredibly diverse diet and many sociologists think this is one of the keys to our natural dominance.

    Now, living in an unlimited-calorie period in time as in current first world countries, this adaptation works against us. The only override to our natural inclinations are 1) rational intervention, which is undeniable hard or 2) bariatric reduction, which is rather invasive.

    (Overeating is truly a first world problem and is greatly preferable to the problem of malnutrition!)
  • pattyhouse1970
    pattyhouse1970 Posts: 51 Member
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    I kept failing before because my head and heart just wasn't in it. Last year, something just clicked and I finally had the will power to just say No to over eating. Once I had it in my head that I could and would do this, I just kept going. Between January 1 of 2017 and now, I've lost 45 pounds. The hardest part was giving up Mountain Dew. Do I miss it? Sometimes. When I see someone holding a bottle, I have to shift my focus somewhere else so I don't dwell on it. It is a serious addiction.

    Some days I still take one meal at a time. Other days, I throw caution to the wind and just eat whatever I want. I try to keep those days to a minimum...
    Unlike a lot of people, I weigh everyday. I don't always put it in my tracker, but I still do it. If I'm up, I always know why...it's because of how I ate the day before.

    I know it's hard. I'm worried about not being able to keep the weight off. I'm worried about gaining it back. I'm worried I won't lose that last 10 pounds. But right now. Right this second. I'm still determined. And hoping I still will be in the future.

    Good luck.
  • cbstewart88
    cbstewart88 Posts: 453 Member
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    What keeps me on goal is exercising. Exercising keeps me in the right frame of mind to keep plugging away. It keeps me positive, motivated, up-beat, energetic and determined. In the past when I have attempted to lose weight by calorie reduction only - I found I got depressed, overwhelmed, discouraged and anxious. And it's hard to stay on track when combating those feeling. So I have added exercise and it has become a much more fun (I'm not saying EASIER) and enjoyable experience.
  • amtyrell
    amtyrell Posts: 1,449 Member
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    Habits. It is hard to change a habit but once you do that you have automatically made every other change easier. Change one small habit and stick with it. Then a few weeks later add another and so on
  • daraalt
    daraalt Posts: 30 Member
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    the monkey in your head causes one to "fail". you make excuses. but you know, in truth, once you set your mind to accomplishing something, you will. you just have to focus and set small goals to reach the end goal. the small achievements keep me going. perseverance, consistency, staying on track, put reminders all over your house and work. and you can't shoot yourself down. don't worry about not getting somewhere, just do it.
  • judefit18
    judefit18 Posts: 38 Member
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    I committed to "no unnecessary calories" for the month of January; When there's a temptation in front of me I stop and think about whether I REALLY need it or not. It's working and now I've made it 17 days, I'm more than halfway in and committed to see it through. Feb 1 I'll renew my commitment. And so on. One month at a time I'll change my thinking about food. Seems manageable
  • Jackie9003
    Jackie9003 Posts: 1,106 Member
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    I've failed in the past because of unrealistic goals and not really trying, this time around I've set out achievable and realistic goals and realised that exercise really does work! I go to a fitness class once a week and walk to work at least once a week and I'm losing weight and seeing a difference - the fact that it's working keeps me going.
    I started with small changes rather than drastic changes, first I added water, then I cut out evening snacks, then started with the exercise - that sort of thing, but I think you really do need to be in the right place mentally to achieve anything.
  • dinadyna21
    dinadyna21 Posts: 403 Member
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    I have a pair of cute jeans that I look at every time I think about giving up, they're a size 6 and I will fit them.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    We fail because we feel.

    We also succeed because we feel.

    The thing is, this is a mind exercise. Once you get your head straight, you understand that you need food for your well-being, and you understand that an excess of food over time harms yourself.

    The source of hope in this is that you can get your head straight and learn the self-respect and self-care which culminates in well-being.
  • BrookeRunningMom
    BrookeRunningMom Posts: 156 Member
    edited January 2018
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    I fined I go real hard for about 8-9 months work my buns off, and then I crash, working on that, its a learning process, just take it day by day, exercise but exercise and bite by bite, if I think to far ahead I fined is still have so much to work on and I get depress and then I eat *kitten* food and wonder whats the point but if I just focus on today then I am fine and not so overwhelmed
  • ISweat4This
    ISweat4This Posts: 653 Member
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    Write down your goals and stick to it. I do not like starting over.

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