I love dinners... my family doesn't

netitheyeti
netitheyeti Posts: 539 Member
edited November 24 in Health and Weight Loss
So I made the mistake of mentioning wanting to lose some weight to my parents. They are now trying to convince me that I'm "doing everything wrong" because dinner is my main meal of the day and "dinners make you fat"

Just to be clear, my dinners are usually a significant chunk of my daily intake (around 400 out of 1300 calories) - but the thing is I don't tend to go to bed until 1am... so even NOW, if I eat before 6-7pm or so I get really hungry by 11pm-midnight.. now imagine my last meal being a piece of fruit or a coffee with milk at 4pm, I'd be miserable - and stuck on maybe 900 calories as I really don't usually feel hungry enough for a larger lunch earlier in the day... On top of that I exercise pretty late in the evening

My mom's always lost weight by just skipping meals (dinners) and both she and dad are convinced my dinners are gonna make me stay big, and think they're doing me a favour trying to talk me out of eating them.

Is there a way I can show them that I'm not "making myself stay fat" just because I feel best when I eat dinner as the main meal of the day? Has anyone else had similar issues? I tried to mention calorie counting (as in, staying within my limit), but they kinda dismissed it because "you don't digest/burn off the food if you sleep"

Replies

  • tiffanyx7
    tiffanyx7 Posts: 175 Member
    Everyone has their own way I suppose. I find earlier nights help A LOT because I get hungry in the evenings around 10pm and I usually have my dinner around 5,6. I don't like to eat any later then that.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,140 Member
    edited January 2018
    You could perhaps show them the Success threads or this article here but to be honest people believe what they want to believe and it may just not be worth the hassle to discuss it further with them.

    If it helps I have lost 35lbs eating 3 meals and snacks per day, eating dinner usually between 8pm and 10pm because I do exercise in the evening. Your digestive system/calorie requirements don't just turn off because you are sleeping.
  • netitheyeti
    netitheyeti Posts: 539 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    The most convicing way would be to lose the weight you want. Your parents are filled with woo, try to not let it drag you down too.

    Thanks, I intend to :smile: it's just been fairly slow progress as I'm only 5'2 (working with a fairly small deficit even at 1300) and have PCOS... I think they're convinced dinners are what's holding me back, unfortunately :( both of them are a lot taller and heavier than me and seem to have an easier time just dropping 10kg like it's nothing when they decide to
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    peple think what they want, and when it comes to weight loss, theyre usually wrong.

    the majority of the time, dinner is my largest or most calorie heavy meal.

    what time you go to bed has no effect on anything.

    do you, and let them be filled with idiotic thoughts.
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,513 Member
    I'm down over 150lb and I eat dinner, heck I snack up until I sleep some days

    It comes down to eating less calories than I burn
    Your body us still digesting food and burning calories while you sleep, the day it doesn't burn calories is the day your carted off to the morgue

    I do skip a meal thou, I skip breakfast as I'm not hungry in the morning but hunger kicks in once I start eating so I save the calories for dinner and evening snacks
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    You can eat the same calories any time of the day and do not need to skip meals.
    You can point out that they lost not because they skipped dinner but because they reduced calories by doing so.
    I don't know if you can convince them if they think their way is the only way. I'd say stop talking to them about weight loss and just do what you need to do.
  • maybe1pe
    maybe1pe Posts: 529 Member
    lololol my dinners are anywhere from 800-1200 calories of my day and I've lost 110 lbs.

    Lose the weight and prove them wrong.

    You got this!
  • aemsley05
    aemsley05 Posts: 151 Member
    I've always had dinner as my biggest meal and haven't had any problems with losing. During the week I eat my breakfast and lunch at work, so dinner is the only meal I get to properly sit down and enjoy - it makes sense for me to make the most of it! I also snack in the evening after dinner (and I don't even go to bed late) and again, it hasn't been a problem for me losing or maintaining weight. Everyone has an opinion on what works and doesn't work for weight loss (and, as others have mentioned, most of them are wrong) so do you best to keep smiling and ignoring them. Your results will prove that what you do works. Good luck!
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    It may be time to stick to just a few key points of your diet with your parents. They mean well of course but their advice just doesn't fit you. And it is Ok to not talk about your dieting habits in an in depth way.

    I would stick to:

    I use MFP.
    I work out.
    I am working on a healthy calorie amount.
    Any weight loss you care to share.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    Do you live with your parents?
    Do you eat meals with your parents?
    Do you shop for groceries with your parents?

    If the answer to the above questions is no, or not all the time - I would just quit talking about your weight loss plans with them. As others have said, they've clearly bought into a lot of the widespread misinformation (commonly known around these parts as WOO) that is so prevalent in society today. You could take some time trying to show them success stories and peer reviewed articles that refute their beliefs - but probably the best course of action is to just focus on your own goals and how you are going to achieve them, and then have the discussion with them when you've made meaningful progress.

    I would also spend some time reading the stickied "Most Helpful Forum Posts" at the top of each section just to arm yourself with good information about how to best use the site, how to troubleshoot some of the common questions that arise, how to log accurately, etc.

    Good luck!
  • crazykatlady820
    crazykatlady820 Posts: 301 Member
    My reasoning for people who think the time you eat has any significance on weight loss is that your body doesn't know what time it is. And furthermore, what about people in other time zones? How does that work for them, then? And what if you change time zones? That usually helps them understand.

    Also, I eat 700-1200 calories for dinner. I like a big dinner and it works for me. I've lost 35ish pounds so far. Night time is just when I feel the most hungry so I figured out how to make it work for me.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    I always eat the majority of my calories at dinner (WAY more than 400 calories!) You're perfectly fine. Tell them you've taken their advice under consideration and determined it's bullocks, and continue eating what sounds to me like a perfectly reasonable (light, even) amount of calories for dinner.
  • lightenup2016
    lightenup2016 Posts: 1,055 Member
    I also skip breakfast or have a very small amount, and save my calories for later in the day. Dinner is when we all sit down together to eat as a family, so it's usually my biggest meal. I usually end up having an alcoholic beverage and a small snack late in the evening as well. As long as I'm within my calorie goal, I don't have a problem losing weight this way. Good luck!
  • Ryansworld84
    Ryansworld84 Posts: 83 Member
    edited January 2018
    The time of day you eat your calories is arbitrary and you could choose any time you want as long as you are in deficit.

    I usually just have black coffee in the morning and eat my first meal at noon. Then eat dinner and snack to fill my days calories and macros.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    The best thing you can do is let your weight loss speak for itself. People have all kinds of ideas about what causes weight loss. Let your success speak for you.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    edited January 2018
    Gosh some of your family members sure do not have a clue! I enjoy dinners and look forward to them daily! I've been at my goal weight range for almost 5 years.
    I remember way back to when I started on my weight loss, my mum told me because I was eating a chocolate bar I wouldn't lose weight! I told her of course I'd lose weight as that bar fitted into my daily calorie allowance.

    You do you and forget about their misguided notions.

    Take in less calories than you burn and weight loss happens.
  • netitheyeti
    netitheyeti Posts: 539 Member
    RunRutheeRun wrote: »
    Gosh some of your family members sure do not have a clue! I enjoy dinners and look forward to them daily! I've been at my goal weight range for almost 5 years.
    I remember way back to when I started on my weight loss, my mum told me because I was eating a chocolate bar I wouldn't lose weight! I told her of course I'd lose weight as that bar fitted into my daily calorie allowance.

    You do you and forget about their misguided notions.

    Take in less calories than you burn and weight loss happens.

    People seem to have a lot of.. uh.. interesting opinions about how someone should (or shouldn't) diet, hah

    I've had a friend say the same thing when they saw me eating my "between uni classes" snack (I used to pack stuff like a banana or little bags (all weighed at home) of nuts and dry apricots)...
    The funny thing is the comment came *after* I had (at the time) already lost a good 10-15kg (and it was pretty noticeable as I'm short, hah) - I think they were convinced you had to completely cut our sugar/carbs to diet, including fruit
    Also ran into people (thankfully in my *extended* family) who were strictly "if you're dieting your meal shouldn't be bigger than your fist" and apparently had an issue with my great big bowls of salad :lol:

    It's easier to ignore those though, because... well, they don't see me eat/prepare my food every day
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    Oh yeah people do have funny/strange notions about how weight loss happens. But we know better as MFP and the forums here have educated us :smile:
  • counting_kilojoules
    counting_kilojoules Posts: 170 Member
    netitheyeti wrote: »
    "you don't digest/burn off the food if you sleep"

    I'd just say "even if that were true, I'm not going to bed until 1pm so I don't think it's a problem!"
    Other than that, all you can really do is give yourself permission to go about your business just the way you please. It's really got nothing to do with anyone else what or how you eat.
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  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    I have to chime in because I have lost 88 pounds on MFP and I eat easily half or more of my calories after 4:00 pm. The time of day you eat is irrelevant as long as you are in a deficit. I am now a normal weight and maintaining and still eat most of my food in the evening. Keep doing what you are and you will be successful.
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