I just want to cry

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Well, I have been using MFP for a while now, but honestly, I have not logged all the food I've eaten, haven't weighed myself, and have not eaten healthy food much at all.

This summer, the guy I dated for two years broke up with me in a very nasty and hurtful way, and then I was working at a teen camp for 7 weeks right after that and taking an online college course. Needless to say, I have been a bit emotional and distraught and stressed out for the past few months.

School is starting soon, so I started trying on clothes today. Nothing fit. I stepped on the scale thinking "What's the deal?" I was shocked to see that I am now 20 pounds heavier than I was at the beginning of last semester in January.

I am so disgusted by myself and frustrated that I ever got to this point. I totally let myself go, and now I'm dealing with the ugly consequences. I don't know what to do.

I just want to cry and never eat anything ever again.
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Replies

  • kimziebaby
    kimziebaby Posts: 133 Member
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    Don't cry! What's done is done, and you can't change the past. But you CAN get back on track and lose the weight you gained!

    Keep your head up girl, you'll lose those pounds in no time! :)
  • OnMyWay2STay
    OnMyWay2STay Posts: 144 Member
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    You're gorgeous! And while you may need to lose weight, there is so much more to who you are than your weight! Get started, but remember that you are awesome no matter what!
  • tshilow
    tshilow Posts: 11
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    Just take a deep breath. I'm an emotional eater too. It's time just to get focused again and get the weight off. You totally can do this!

    I went through a breakup and a divorce the last 2 years and gained 15lbs. I'm now ready to get the weight off!

    Let's do it together.
  • papastu
    papastu Posts: 737 Member
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    agreed, you can't change the past but you can affect the future so do something about it

    :flowerforyou:

    Stu
  • McKnightAM
    McKnightAM Posts: 125 Member
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    I have lost 28lbs since June 3rd (ignore my ticker.. I didn't start tracking it till shortly after). You CAN lose the weight, dedicate yourself to it and watch it melt away :) You will be much happier.
  • xnissax
    xnissax Posts: 40
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    Oh hun, I think anyone would cry given what you've had to deal with!


    So you've realised there's a problem and now you're ready to face it head on. It's time to be a little bit selfish and decide what you need and what's best for you.

    You CAN do this. You've just gotten through worse.
  • Michellerw1
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    Girl, I feel you. I did the same thing a few months ago; was not being honest about excercise/eating. But you can do it!!!! It is never to late to start again and do it for youself!
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
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    Take a deep breath. It's gonna be okay. Just get started on it today. Before you know it, your twenty extra pounds will be gone! I had really gone off my diet for a couple of months (stress also), and noticed some of my skinny clothes are starting to look, well, not so good. So I'm right there with you!

    One day at a time. You will do it!
  • jennfer71
    jennfer71 Posts: 38 Member
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    You admit that you haven't been doing the things you know you should to be healthy. You also know that with MFP you have a great support group and all the tracking tools you need. Take advantage of MFP and take care of yourself. As you begin to get healthier you will begin to feel better, both physically and emotionally. Chin up......you can do this! Most important is that you do this for YOU!! :flowerforyou:
  • tscblue
    tscblue Posts: 7 Member
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    I understand what you are feeling, but don't give up just start over and keep saying to yourself I can do it. I say its not a diet its to make me healthier. I have been doing this for 180 days and quit drinking diet pop for as long as I been on this i quit cold turkey and I dont even crave it anymore. I just keep looking at the positive side. I work out 6 days a week and I only consume 1200 calories a day, there are some days I dont take in all 1200 and thats not good. But keep thinking positive you can do it.
  • racymandi21
    racymandi21 Posts: 11 Member
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    Im sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time. But I think we all go through something like that at least once. For me it was when my mom passed away. I gained about 35 lbs. As hard as it may be we have to do our best to bounce back.

    Dont stop eating all together, its not healthy. Use your emotion as motivation to reach your goal. Also track all of your food it will be a huge eyeopener. I know it was for me. Lastly make sure you have friends who know what your goal is and help steer you in the right direction, and cheer you on.
  • kikislove2
    kikislove2 Posts: 71 Member
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    I'm so sorry you went through that, but what I have heard as far as what you are doing with your life seems very positive. Going to school, and working at the camp. Those are good things. As far as the boyfriend goes, be glad that he is out of your life, be glad that he showed you who he was before you were with him for 10 yrs and too mentally deep to get out. Now concentrate on you, and to do that you have to log everything. I log before I eat it, so that I can see what I'm about to put in my body, and if it's too much, I can cut back and substitute. If you need a good cry, go ahead and get it out, then get down to business. The best revenge, is looking super hott the next time he sees you, and you showing him he means nothing to you anymore.
  • jesisthebest
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    Let this motivate you! We have all been there. Realizing you have gained the weight makes you one step closer to losing it.
  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Don't be disgusted with yourself. You're young, and probably pretty active. Yes it sucks that your boyfriend broke up with you. As for your fitness, you are now free from camp food! Just exercise and start making healthy food choices again, and stick to it. I'm sure you will recover just fine, though it may take a few months. Whatever you do, don't try to lose it all before you go back to school. Hang in there!

    It is possible to be bummed or stressed and still make good choices. That is the challenge.
  • maygs
    maygs Posts: 63 Member
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    It will be okay. I was there too, I realized that all my clothes didn't fit anymore and yes I was very upset with myself but at the same time I took action and started watching what I ate and working out. That's also when I found this site and after two weeks I tried on my old clothes and they still dont fit but I know with the motivation on this site and some hard work I can do it, and you can too!
  • JetzGurl
    JetzGurl Posts: 217 Member
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    As someone who also gained a lot of weight while going through emotional turmoil, I feel for you. My husband and I weathered some infidelity issues that saw me gain about 20lbs on top of the baby weight I hadn't yet lost from the birth of my son. For years I blamed my husband for the insecurities and extra weight that I carried around. I went through depression, self loathing and self image problems. 9 years later and I finally decided, enough is enough.
    It's okay to cry.
    Then, when you're done, make the first step towards replacing tears with smiles. We all have to start somewhere.
    You could always start my trackin gwhat you eat and seeing where you could make better choices to bring down that number.

    It takes time to pull yourself out of a funk, but it's not usually as hard as it looks :)
  • SammaBread
    SammaBread Posts: 37 Member
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    I know what you mean! happened to me too. I gained 20 pounds in the last 2 years. I didn't even realize untill the damage was done. but I was sick of feeling like crap about myself, so I have just been taking baby steps. that's the key. log your food every day for a week, stay on your goal, and it will show you how easy it can be :)
  • livlinde
    livlinde Posts: 39
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    Thank you everyone so so so so much! This is so very encouraging to me right now. :)
  • dddttt
    dddttt Posts: 39 Member
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    Well, you came to the right place for support :)
    There's no good in crying over spilt milk - you had a tough time, you're *definitely* not the only one who would have done the same... the question is, are you gonna be among the ones who decided that they are going to change right here, right now. :) And there's strength in everyone!
    Get a gym membership, start C25K or look up the 30 Day Shred (I didn't do it but apparently it does wonders), start eating healthy - *today*, not tomorrow. You can do it, I know it!
  • slimmer189
    slimmer189 Posts: 135 Member
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    You have to put all of that behind you - that was yesturday - Start fresh today, make small goals and surround yourself with people who will support you.