Really don't know what to do! :-(
Madsocks
Posts: 54 Member
Wanted to start afresh this new year as we've just moved to another country and I haven't been doing very well recently, but I just cannot find the time to hit the gym. I've got two kids (2.5 yrs and 10months) and they are both so demanding. I work all day, when I get home, I have tea, then have to sort out the kids and by the time I do that, I just don't have the energy or motivation to go the gym. I've considered going in the morning before work but because I'm that tired as my littlest one wakes up constantly so I don't get enough sleep, I just don't have the energy to get up to go, I just want to try and sleep.
My moobs seems to be growing rather than shrinking, my stomach is a bit podgy but not that bad. I keep going back a couple of years when I did a bootcamp and I got down to just over 17st. I'm currently plateued on 18st 10lbs.
I need a new wardrobe of clothes but don't get any because I keep saying I want to lose weight, but it just doesn't seem to happen. Doesn't help that I'm a sugar junkie as well and I struggle to go through a day without a coke or Irn Bru. I've tried to be really good with food, but my fiancee keeps buying sweets, chocolates, crisps, and even though I say I don't want any, she still gets me them. She's not the most motivating of people, god bless her.
If I could lose my moobs, and some weight off my thighs and my stomach, I'd probably drop 1-1.5 stone there and then I'll be fine. I just need help with the motivation to get there. I used to go on my video game consoles lots, but I don't even do that now. The weather hasn't helped up here in Scotland with the snow. I just need a massive push. I'm in the process of changing gyms, my current gym hasn't exactly been a good luck charm for me so I'm hoping getting to a new one might just give me part of the help I need. :-(
My moobs seems to be growing rather than shrinking, my stomach is a bit podgy but not that bad. I keep going back a couple of years when I did a bootcamp and I got down to just over 17st. I'm currently plateued on 18st 10lbs.
I need a new wardrobe of clothes but don't get any because I keep saying I want to lose weight, but it just doesn't seem to happen. Doesn't help that I'm a sugar junkie as well and I struggle to go through a day without a coke or Irn Bru. I've tried to be really good with food, but my fiancee keeps buying sweets, chocolates, crisps, and even though I say I don't want any, she still gets me them. She's not the most motivating of people, god bless her.
If I could lose my moobs, and some weight off my thighs and my stomach, I'd probably drop 1-1.5 stone there and then I'll be fine. I just need help with the motivation to get there. I used to go on my video game consoles lots, but I don't even do that now. The weather hasn't helped up here in Scotland with the snow. I just need a massive push. I'm in the process of changing gyms, my current gym hasn't exactly been a good luck charm for me so I'm hoping getting to a new one might just give me part of the help I need. :-(
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Replies
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Some suggestions: Prioritize sleep over exercise. You can get plenty of exercise with your kids, maybe getting more outlet for energy and attention from you, can make them less demanding.
Stop calling yourself a sugar junkie; you eat what is easy available and tasty; chocolate and crisps has even just as much energy from fat as carbs. Even surrounded by temptations, you are the one who makes the decision to eat or not eat. If your goal is to be good, you'll fail, because you'll be aiming to be perfect, and you'll never be perfect, so anything else is failure; if your goal is to be virtuous, you can only do it for a short while, because you need pleasure from food; if you want to eat better, you have to do, not try; in order to succeed, you need a good plan and a mindset that says you're in charge. Don't look for magic to happen or rely on motivation from other people; weightloss happens when you eat less/move more, and that is something you either do or don't do.18 -
Losing weight is mostly done by diet. Quit making excuses for why you can't do it and look for solutions for every single reason. You don't have to exercise so maybe start with the goal of logging your calories for the first couple of weeks. Once you see some losses coming in, you'll feel more motivated and have more energy for exercise. Baby steps work but you have to be willing to make them first.11
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Exercise isn't necessary for weight loss, eating less IS. Track your food, keep within the calorie allowance MFP gives you and weight loss will follow. Have patience because it takes time to lose weight.
All the best.6 -
Hello Madsocks you shouldn't be so hard on yourself it sounds like you've got a lot going at the moment and going to the gym is not going to be a priority since you're so tired. I'm also tired most of the time now (recovering from flu and carry all the excess weight adds to my overall tiredness) the last thing I want to do is do a workout at the gym. I hate the flippin gym anyway so I don't go...I walk when I can and do some resistance exercises at home.
Perhaps you could start out with just walking and then when the motivation is there you could join the gym but why push yourself so hard now when you've got so much else to do.
As far as the sugar goes try cutting out one or two of your usual snacks and add another each week that way you can wean yourself off sugar slowly. When your partner brings sweets home you should throw them straight into the bin open them up and chuck some bathroom cleaner on them then you won't be tempted at all. I have a problem with portion control so when I've made too much food I sometimes have to put washing up liquid on it to stop from eating the lot - wasteful I know but rather in the bin than creating another spare tyre. Also if the junk food is going straight in the bin then perhaps your partner will stop buying them because it would just be wasting money. Good luck!1 -
I agree with baby steps.
Get yourself a food scale. Begin by weighing your solids and measuring your liquid in measuring cups. Log everything.
Eat at a calorie deficit. You'll lose weight just by eating at a deficit.
Maybe you could do some home work outs until you get your sleeping sorted?3 -
Thanks everyone, I appreciate the comments.3
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Definitely streamline the shopping and cooking of healthy foods so you don't grab sugary treats. Does your spouse help?
It's definitely more about what you eat then exercise - although when your babies -and you! - are sleeping better, you might want to invest in a quiet exercise machine to use at home - I got a recumbent bike when I had little kids - or exercise videos that you can do at home with weights.
Good luck !!!
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I always struggled with time for gym as i work 12 hour days/nights and it stressed me out so i just thought sod it, got a fitbit, walked more and if i have 30 minutes spare i do a youtube home workout follow along. Now 50lbs lighter and still going. Feel free to add2
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Don't worry about the gym for now, start with your food. Ask your wife to keep stuff in a treat cupboard or box so you can avoid it, and have a conversation about how she can support you.
Other than that, you just have to do it. You brush your teeth and pay your bills not because of motivation to do it, but because you have to. treat logging your food and eating in a deficit the same way.3 -
Hey - I'm also in Scotland I used to think that exercise was the most important thing for losing weight, but joing MFP has taught me that diet is WAY more important. Don't worry so much about what you can't do (e.g. exercise and getting to the gym) and focus on what you can do (e.g. controlling what you eat and drink). If you can get some exercise in (and I suspect that 2,5 year old keeps you running around) then great, if not, don't sweat it. As others have said, maybe you can find ways to work out with your kids - putting on some music and having a dance party in your living room is a surprisingly good (and fun!) calorie burn!
On the food side, try switching to diet drinks. Yes, diet Irn Bru isn't great, but I've found Irn Bru Extra to be much closer to real Irn Bru taste. Same for Coke Zero vs Diet Coke.
Your fiance will likely get the message about not buying treats if you stop eating the treats. If they just build up and up in the cupboard then it's a waste of money to buy more. If you can, put them away in a box or at least behind a cupboard door - the more effort it is to get to the treats, the less likely you'll be to mindlessly go for them. In the end, it's up to you to get out of the habit of eating treats because they are there. I struggle with this myself, so totally know the feeling! Maybe allow yourself one treat per day so you aren't feeling deprived and work it into your calorie allowance. Good luck!3 -
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I had the same problem. Two young kids. I wasn't motivated to go in the morning, plus I'd miss seeing my kids in the morning. And after work I was too tired, plus I felt like I was missing out on seeing my kids.
So, I worked it out with my job so that I take a 2 hour lunch break every day and spend 90 minutes in the gym every afternoon. This 'forces' me to workout as what else would I do with 2 hours? And early on, if I was doing something like walking a mall, I would feel guilty that I wasn't at the gym. This forced me get into the habit.
My day is only 1 hour longer that I'm not at home. Going to the gym in the morning or afternoon caused me to lose out on 2 hours of family time.
Now when I get home every night, I'm much more energized to play with my kids.5 -
You don't have to go to the gym to exercise. Exercise comes in all forms: 1) Play with the kids - Run around with them. Play tag or chase them. Lift them up and put them back down several times. 2) Give them piggy back rides around the yard or house. 3) Sprint up or down the stairs when you go between floors 4) If you make dinner - use canned foods to do curls. 5) Do leg raises when standing at the stove or fridge 6) If you are watching the telly - then during the commercials, get on the floor and do a few crunches or leg lifts. 7) if you drive to the store, park at the back of the parking lot and walk briskly to the entrance. Remember that every little bit of movement counts. You don't need special gym equipment to get a workout.2
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I lost close to 60 lbs without any exercise. It's taken quite a while, but I didn't mind the slow weight loss. I think I must have done about a month of the 30-day shred, other than that I didn't do much. I'm a student and I work, I don't drive so often spend hours on public transport (it takes me 4 hours to get to work and back). If you really want to exercise but struggle to fit it in, try YouTube. They have some really good exercise videos on there. The main reason I would want to go to the gym is for their strength training machines and weights, cardio is easily done at home.0
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work out with your kids. I have slowly build my own gym, my 3 year old isnt allowed down there when Im running because Im afraid she will fall and hit the treadmill while Im running, but anything else she is right there with me. I bought her 2lb dumbells and she "lifts" with those. Do workout videos also. I work a full time job plus pick up hours at a second job, I have 4 kids, do all the cooking and almost all the cleaning, and the closest gym to my house is a 25 minute drive away, so getting to the gym is near impossible. Take advantage of the weekends, during the week i get 2-3 30-40 minute workouts in, but weekends I do about an hour and a half.
Talk to your wife, have a real conversation asking her to not buy you junk food and why its important to you. I quit buying my husband chips for a log time because I can eat a bag of chips in one sitting, now Ive had 2 bags of chips in my house for nearly a week, one is un opened, and the other my husband opened. I almost had some last night, but I had to convince myself out of it, its a mental game, but if you want to lose weight bad enough, you will be able to tell yourself no to the junk food.2 -
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Little changes can make big differences and have a cumulative impact. If it is hard to find time for dedicated exercise, try to find ten minute blocks here and there where you can do weight work while watching television or chatting with the kids. Incorporate the kids into exercise by running around with them, having living room dance parties, or riding bikes or hiking. But, if you can't find time, focus on diet. Tracking your food is so helpful - it keeps you accountable and once you are diligent about tracking, you might see impact rather quickly. Have a heart to heart with your financee and tell her you love her but you really need her help. If she must bring the sweets home, ask her to hide them. But, at the same time, don't totally eliminate treats from your diet - you will crave them and possibly binge. Portion treats out and savor them daily. You might find you get just as much satisfaction. You can do this....one little decision at a time.1
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I had the same problem with trying to get to the gym, so I bought an elliptical and some weights for the house, which made it much easier to work out on my schedule. All it really takes is 30 minutes a day, a few days a week.
I agree with other posters that it you can lose weight on diet alone, but if you can work in some exercise as well, the pounds should come flying off. Plus, you will build lean muscle mass.
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Hi all, thanks for the comments, just an update for you.
I managed to get to parkrun on saturday morning for the first time in about 3 months, my thighs are absolutely killing me now but I felt so much better. I ran a 32:09 which is pretty good considering my PB is 29:09. I also decided on my lunch, I'm going to do a walk around our business park. I did one last week and it was about a mile and a quarter per lap so I did 3 laps, so a good solid 50 minutes of walking. Works out around 5km. If I manage to do that 4 days a week, hopefully I will start to see some results. Still struggling diet wise but once I get paid I'm going to do a shop and buy lots of veg, lean meats and fruit.1 -
Hi all, thanks for the comments, just an update for you.
I managed to get to parkrun on saturday morning for the first time in about 3 months, my thighs are absolutely killing me now but I felt so much better. I ran a 32:09 which is pretty good considering my PB is 29:09. I also decided on my lunch, I'm going to do a walk around our business park. I did one last week and it was about a mile and a quarter per lap so I did 3 laps, so a good solid 50 minutes of walking. Works out around 5km. If I manage to do that 4 days a week, hopefully I will start to see some results.Still struggling diet wise but once I get paid I'm going to do a shop and buy lots of veg, lean meats and fruit.3
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