Valentine's humor-for the guys

A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentines’ cards for

his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of

cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, “I wonder if they have

anything for ex-wives.”

The clerk behind the counter said, “Oh, yes sir, they do have an

‘ex’ category, but they’re in Sporting Goods.”

“Really?”

“Yes sir. They’re called darts.”


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The Washington Post asked readers to come up with inept romantic sentiments

for Valentine’s Day:

Your kisses are sweeter than wine, but without the paper bag.

I am irrationally exuberant for you in the third quarter of my fiscal life, with rising

indicators.

My love for you runs hotter than a ‘74 Nova with a V-8 engine and a busted water

pump.

Darling, you make me as hot as those hand dryers in a turnpike restroom.

If we were cockroaches, I’d want to have all 456,845 of your children.