meal planning for you and your partner who does not need to diet

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cgditty
cgditty Posts: 4 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm finding it very challenging to keep my dinner and weekend calories down when I have to plan meals for both me and my partner (who actually needs to gain weight).
It's so hard not to match portions and meals with the one your eating with. What do you do when you have to limit yourself to one egg one piece of toast to keep your calories down when your sitting across from someone eating two with bacon and cheese? I want bacon and cheese and two eggs with two pieces of toast damit! I usually cave and end of eating more calories than I need to lose weight when we are together. Anyone else dealing this?

Replies

  • jerickson6606
    jerickson6606 Posts: 1 Member
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    This is my life too! I have been cooking two different meals, one for me and one for the family. I also end up eating stuff I shouldn’t and I’m getting so frustrated! I wish I had some awesome tip or trick to pass on, however all I can do is commiserate.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
    edited February 2018
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    I'm the primary cook in the house...I make one meal in the evening. My wife will generally have the same portion of meat and veg but takes a smaller serving or may skip on the starch or grain.

    During the week we don't eat breakfast and lunch together so we prep our own stuff for that.

    On weekends we tend to have the same breakfast which is typically smallish...we're typically on our own for lunch since we're usually running around and whatnot and if we are at home, we fend for ourselves...usually leftovers or a sandwich for me...she often has a salad.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    If you are the cook, you weigh your food as you cook it and you keep track of the calories in the amount of it that you eat. It's really not hard. If you are not the cook, step up and help to do the weighing so you can keep track of the calories in the amount of it that you eat.
  • PaytraB
    PaytraB Posts: 2,360 Member
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    I cook one meal. Hubby takes what he wants, I have less (or none) of the starchy portion and more veggies. I make small changes such as using spaghetti squash instead of pasta occasionally and I've tried the shiritake noodles.

    You can have 2 eggs, bacon and cheese occasionally. Just plan it, log it and adjust the other meals appropriately. Perhaps look at a weekly calorie total instead of a daily one? Plan for moderation, not exclusion of food. You can do this. Hang in there.
  • hypodonthaveme
    hypodonthaveme Posts: 215 Member
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    Cwolfman13 you described my house to a t.
  • Aplant77
    Aplant77 Posts: 112 Member
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    I cook one meal. My hubby eats a larger portion than I do and it works out just fine!
  • CourtneyUT
    CourtneyUT Posts: 48 Member
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    Don't you wish you could magically give some of your weight to someone in need? I have more than I need, he needs to gain - can medical science find a way to do fat donations?
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    This will forever be my life. I calculated my husbands calorie needs based off of the highest activity level (he is extremely active) and he needs about 3800 calories a day. (Not that he’s counting) I have my goal set to 1620. I cook the same meals as always, he just eats a lot more of it than I do.
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,268 Member
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    I'm in a similar situation and also have a picky eater to contend with. I use emeals.com and it has saved a lot of headache, hassle and made my job of meal prep easier. I'm with you. Just keep it up and know you'll see results.
  • ladyhusker39
    ladyhusker39 Posts: 1,406 Member
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    I don't get this. Why can't you just eat the same foods but not in the same quantities or leave the higher calorie side off your plate altogether?

    What does how much someone else is eating have to do with how much you eat? Sounds like an excuse to justify your choices.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    Yep. His and Hers. Honestly, even at maintenance...I can't match what a man I'm seeing eats. If I want to really get down and eat with him, I have to fast most of the day. He's having 4 eggs? I either get 8 egg whites or 2 eggs. One slice of toast instead of two. A side of veg instead of potatoes. Sucks but that's the name of the game.
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Two eggs = 78 calories x 2 = 156 calories. One half ounce of cheddar cheese = 56 calories. If you need to get more full, make those eggs scrambled and toss in a generous serving of steamed broccoli. I was able to eat this breakfast on a 1200 calorie a day allowance. I’d skip the toast and bacon and make a BLT for lunch if I felt deprived of those breakfast flavors.

    Have your husband fry up some hash browns for himself. Why isn’t he cooking for himself anyway? Teach him it’s fun and have him learn a skill for self sufficiency.



  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
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    Acceptance is the key. That and stop feeling sorry for yourself because you can't have what you want. Wouldn't we all like to eat whatever we want and as much as we want? What do I do when I have to limit my food? I don't look at my husband's plate for comparison. By the time my food is on my plate I've already counted my calories and I'm ready to enjoy a meal together. I cannot reasonably expect to eat like my husband who has an active job and lots of muscle and ever reach my goal. My concern is what I'm doing and my choices. Comparison usually does not help. This reminds me of an episode of Dr. Phil. It was one of his weight loss shows. One guest who had a medical issue that caused slow weight loss was complaining about how other people lost weight faster. He said, "So what? That ain't you." Don't worry about what your partner is eating. Worry about what you're eating.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
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    Now imagine you’re vegan trying to lose weight with a carnivore husband. Double the fun. Seriously, do what Deb says and dump your portions over heaping piles of vegetables. It will be much more food and more satisfying for you. Example: he’s having stir-fry over rice, you’re having half as much sauce, a small bit of rice and a pile of sugar snap peas to bulk it up. The formula works for any meal.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    nowine4me wrote: »
    Now imagine you’re vegan trying to lose weight with a carnivore husband. Double the fun. Seriously, do what Deb says and dump your portions over heaping piles of vegetables. It will be much more food and more satisfying for you. Example: he’s having stir-fry over rice, you’re having half as much sauce, a small bit of rice and a pile of sugar snap peas to bulk it up. The formula works for any meal.

    Yep. My last mate knew to have a whole bag of greens for me to put the protein over. And hot sauce instead of whatever dressing/sauce he was using. Very often MY meal looked bigger than his. But had about 400-500 calories less.
  • drealuvvsyhu
    drealuvvsyhu Posts: 10 Member
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    Honestly I have three people in my household that eat what they want. They eat what I eat If I'm craving something bad I look for healthier alternatives. So that way I'm not tempted to put something on my plate that I'm not supposed to. If people I. My home don't care for what I've cooked they cook their own meal. I'm surrounded by takeout and pizza and chips but you have to remember why you're improving your lifestyle. Hubby should understand and get on board with the changes or at least support you and your decisions. Make his food first only enough for him and then make your food. Let him eat first so by time you're done cooking there's less bad food for you to pick on. Good luck!!
  • Roobyzooby
    Roobyzooby Posts: 189 Member
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    We eat the same meals, food and snacks. I just eat less than hubby does. Thats the way it has to be to keep me at my maintenance. If I want it I eat it, I just count the calories and never deny myself any thing, just because it might be high calorie or unhealthy if it fits my daily goal I have it.
  • cfurness61
    cfurness61 Posts: 1 Member
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    I have a lot to loose and my husband doesn’t he’s also a personal trainer .. he’s decided to eat the same as myself .. if he fancies a kebab I make a low fat home made version (so Much better too) breakfast is the only meal we eat different .
  • gracegettingittogether
    gracegettingittogether Posts: 176 Member
    edited February 2018
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    My husband is also losing weight with me, but is about a foot taller. He also loves to bike,so he eats much more than me.
    I actually enjoy seeing him eat much more than I do, because I know that he should be eating more, and before I was eating the same amount, as he was. It makes me feel feminine and that the proportion of food is back in balance. Because how could we maintain our very different bodies on the same amount of calories. I watch him eat that much and think, that is how I got fat, by matching his portions, and way overeating for me. And now I'm not. And then I feel very pleased with myself.

    Maybe try to enjoy the difference, if that makes any sense. And please feel free to ignore this, if it doesn't help. I often get told, that what comforts me, is not helpful to others.

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