Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels

I just posted this on my blog but wanted to repeat it here, where I consistantly see this 'slogan'

I came from an eating disordered past, I just upped my calories from 1200 to 1370 last week, and I freaked out about having to eat "all those other calories" all 170 more.

I am here to lose weight, which means at some point I got “fat”. Lots of my weight gain had to do with depression brought on by undiagnosed gluten intolerance which meant I was constantly hungry and eating because my body couldn't absorb the nutrients I was feeding it. This happened, well came to light, years after I had spent 6 months eating *maybe* a meal a day and running far too much after school. I remember calling my mom one night after nearly passing out on a run. I wasn't waif thin, but I was (ironically) eating only a bagel a day. Not a single thing that was in that bagel could be processed by my body because of the gluten in it.

When I went gluten free my life changed, food wasn't the enemy, it didn't make me sick, it didn't make me ache, it didn't cause me physical pain. My depression eased, my ADD was manageable, my appetite was satiable. When I started counting my calories I had to fight the urge to eat just barely enough to 'get by' now, in my ED mindset that means just a few hundred calories, not the mandatory 1200 set in place by MFP.
I chose MFP because:
1. My mom uses it (do I even need a second reason? My mom is always right)
2. There are people here to keep me accountable for what I eat. When I go under I've got friends who tell me it's not ok, who will ask if I'm feeling alright, and just point out (often in a PM that getting 300 of the 600 calories I ingested from drinks was not cool and what was I thinking only eating 600 cals) and I love MFP for that.

What I hate, more than the annoying repeat questions about how to start running (c25k.com), or exercise calories (http://shouldieatmyexercisecalories.com/), or HCG is reading a post on the forum and scrolling to their signature and seeing the most pro-ana slogan in the history of slogans. I have an ED history, a lot of people on this site do, be it restrictive eating, binge/purging, chew&spit, or over eating. They all unite us under one truth, we use food to control how we feel, we restrict because we feel we have no control, we binge out of stress/grief and we purge because we feel ashamed, guilty, and fat, we over eat because we cannot satisfy something within ourselves. Most of us come from an ED background; see it how you want, but most of us have an unhealthy relationship with food. The anorexic girl is no less obsessed with food than the man who weighs in at half a ton; in fact, I'd assume they spend the same amount of time each day thinking about food.

Every time I see Kate Moss' slogan I think about how skinny I had been, I think about how little I ate every day and how I had gotten to my lowest ever weight. I think about how I ran every day and how I never ate enough to sustain those runs, how I smoked rather than ate. I get a chill every time I see it. I'll tell you what tastes better than skinny feels. Going for a long run and not getting dizzy. Homemade "nutella", straight from the mason jar. You know what tastes a million times better than skinny? Eating without feeling sick, be it physical illness or guilt, being able to eat in a healthy manner tastes better than skinny feels.

Whenever I see a picture of a skinny girl asking me if I'm sure I want that chip/cookie I get offended, I'm 5'4 I will never weigh 100 lbs, but some chips or a cookie isn't going to kill me. Maybe change the question to, "Elysa, are you sure you want the entire Family Sized bag of chips right now?" or "Elysa, are you sure you want to eat the entire pack of Glutino 'Chocolate and creme cookies' in one sitting?" Because I can eat chips, I can eat my Glutino cookies, I can eat anything I want as long as I eat it in moderation, as long as I plan for it. Plenty of things "taste as good as skinny feels" even more things are better. Everytime I see that stupid pro-ana slogan I think, "She doesn't know what it means" and then I say a prayer that she has no idea what she's promoting.

I ask those of you who use this quote to reconsider. Nothing tastes as good as HEALTHY feels. Nothing feels as good as Fit. We are a community joining together to become healthy, and I ask that you be aware that some of us on this journey with you have deep scars and are fighting every day to resist the eating disorder we have/are overcome(ing). Pro-ana slogans aren't helpful on our journey.