Just Can't picture myself Skinny

Animaniac87
Animaniac87 Posts: 74
edited September 30 in Motivation and Support
I just started my weight loss journey, and I still have a long way to go. My problem is that I'm losing motivation because I just can't picture myself skinny. I've been overweight for as long as I can remember. I've always been the token "fat friend" and the "fat sibling" those are terms I've come to accept of myself. My sisters both wear size 4. I wear a 18, and it's been that way my whole life, they're 2 years older than me but I have Always been the bigger sister. I'm starting to think I purposely sabotage my weight loss because I honest to goodness just don't see myself skinny. I've tried to imagine what I'll look like to kepp me inspired, but I can't.
I really and truly WANT to lose weight and be considered skinny (size 6 or 8 is my goal), but my not seeing it makes it hard to continue trying/.

Has anyone else had a problem with this? How did you overcome it? Any advice would be much appreciated
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Replies

  • chef970
    chef970 Posts: 196 Member
    Hey there,

    Ive battled my weight all my life. What i did is kept telling myself that i had to do something and it clicked...my first weigh in and lost 6 lbs. From then on it got easier...by the way, i love your screen name, i loved that cartoon...take care and remember it does get easier.
  • MrsRadder
    MrsRadder Posts: 207 Member
    I am the same way!!! In my family I am the 'strong one' or the 'big girl'. It's hard to over come what you are known as! Good luck to you! Take pictures along the way. I posted a topic a few days ago that was just like this! Feel free to friend me.
  • You've lost 5 punds! That's awesome :) If you keep it up for 6 months, you won't have to "picture" yourself skinny because you'll be well on your way to a transformed body!
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
    You just have to do it! Not for anyone else but yourself. I started out at 215 lbs and couldn't picture myself skinny. But that was part of the "fun" of it...discovering my new body and the confidence to go with it. I have a Before and current After pic in my signature if you want to take a look.

    Just make healthy choices and make them a habit.

    Good luck.
  • RVfrog
    RVfrog Posts: 213 Member
    hi, get the 17 day diet book....my husband has lost 36 lbs since jan. I am also doing it...it is the best and we both lost 6 lbs the first week and he has lost 2 lbs a wk since. he is better at it than I am but it does work.

    You have to find what works for you. Good luck
    :smile:
  • tdotwitch
    tdotwitch Posts: 25 Member
    Growing up I always thought I was fat cuz my family always told me I was when I wasn't. I didn't realize that until I got fat. For yrs now I've felt hopeless but last month I said screw this. It's not just about being skinny now it's about feeling better about myself. Just remember that you're doing this for yourself and nobody else. Is there something you can't do now because of your weight? If so think about how good it will feel to be able to do that once it's gone. Hope this helps. Add me if you need support.:bigsmile:
  • I have a folder of pictures of models in my iPhone... I have also put up 'ideal' pictures on a bulletin board in my bedroom... this way I can reprogram my brain... it took time but it really helped....
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
    Now that there's so much less of me I feel much closer to skinny than I really am. And then somebody takes a picture of me and posts it in Facebook and I realize that after all this I'm still not skinny. Bummer.

    But, I remind myself that this is just a stop along the way. I'll get to the skinny end eventually.
  • Griffonics
    Griffonics Posts: 6 Member
    Just because you can't picture it, doesn't mean it won't happen. I have much the same story as you, both my sisters are much thinner than i am, and it just doesn't seem possible.

    Try not to think about (i know, hard, but try), and think about the health not the size instead. Can you think about the day you felt the best? The day you were at your most fabulous. Remember how you felt, what you smelt, what you saw. Bring all the senses into and put THAT as your goal, not a size. Soon enough you won't need to see yourself skinny, people will tell you you are. Once others say it, its just a matter of time before you believe it.

    Also, if your sisters are skinny, look at them. You are going to have much the same body shape as they are. See you in their shapes. :) And keep on truckin!
  • krysydawn
    krysydawn Posts: 231 Member
    My only suggestion is to stop trying to picture yourself skinny.. just try and wrap your brain around being healthy and the skinny part will follow. Good luck!
  • ashleypietz
    ashleypietz Posts: 87 Member
    I just started my weight loss journey, and I still have a long way to go. My problem is that I'm losing motivation because I just can't picture myself skinny. I've been overweight for as long as I can remember. I've always been the token "fat friend" and the "fat sibling" those are terms I've come to accept of myself. My sisters both wear size 4. I wear a 18, and it's been that way my whole life, they're 2 years older than me but I have Always been the bigger sister. I'm starting to think I purposely sabotage my weight loss because I honest to goodness just don't see myself skinny. I've tried to imagine what I'll look like to kepp me inspired, but I can't.
    I really and truly WANT to lose weight and be considered skinny (size 6 or 8 is my goal), but my not seeing it makes it hard to continue trying/.

    Has anyone else had a problem with this? How did you overcome it? Any advice would be much appreciated

    I was in your shoes in January. I am the oldest of three girls and was always to fat sister. I was a 20 and my sisters were a 6-8 and 10-12. Even my mom and dad were smaller than me. I had no idea how I'd look as I lost weight and frankly didn't have a goal weight in mind. I kept at it and have lost about 85 lbs and am down to a size 10. I'm still not really used to being a thin person yet but I'm working on it. Don't lose heart, you will begin to change slowly and you'll get used to the new you and not even recognize yourself in older photos. Don't think about getting skinny, it'll stress you out, just focus on eating better and exercising and allowing your body to come to its full potential. As you start feeling better you'll realize you look better and pretty soon you'll be skinny. If you are like me you'll still feel like the same person, you'll just have better habits and a healthier body.

    I hope this helps. Feel free to add me if you'd like more support. I've been there and know how hard it can be.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    visualization is very important. try harder to visualize. you CAN do it.
  • purr1616
    purr1616 Posts: 5 Member
    Please dont give up! sometimes it seems like the journey takes forever with little result. but its all worth it.

    when i bought my first pair of skinny leg jeans last month, i felt so uncomfortable and like the fat girl in the room (like usual), in my mind everyone was staring at me and mentally commenting that my legs and those jeans just dont go together.
    it wasnt till i got home and looked at myself in the mirror and realised that the body in my mind and the body in the mirror didnt match anymore. my jeans looked awesome.

    its been the hardest thing about losing weight, the gap between the mind and the mirror. and its still difficult to accept comments like "your skinny now" because in my mind it just doesnt seem possible.
    but stick with it because when you pick up those teeny tiny jeans and they fit for the first time, its so worth it.
  • grouch201
    grouch201 Posts: 404 Member
    As Dave Ramsey would say, "You need to get off the stinkin' thinkin'." A couple big motivators for me have been pictures of body types I would like to have (Lance Armstrong may be a long shot for me, but it's still an aspiration much more realistic than Arnold Schwarzenegger), I have clothing in my closet that I would like to wear at my goal weight, and I have pictures of mountains I would love to be able to climb.

    Other motivators are the small steps I see myself making every day. I mark the differences in my eating and write my weekly weigh-ins on the bathroom mirror so I can see them every day.

    It's hard to see the peak of Mount Everest when you're standing at the base, but you can see the first rise you have to get to. So start making your way towards it. Set your eyes not on a skinny you, but a skinni*er* you. Eventually you'll look in the mirror and have to look several more times to make sure it's really you you're looking at.

    Just a couple of thoughts.
  • I feel the same way. I am the oldest sister though. And my two younger sisters are smaller (way smaller) than I am. I have always been on the heavy side since elementary school. I cannot picture myself skinny either. But seeing myself fat motivates me to lose weight and live a healthier life. I don't want to be this size so I am working as hard as I can to change that. The only difference is, I don't want to be skinny either. I want to lose enough weight to be healthy and fit. I'm not sure what size that is just yet, but when I get there I will know for sure. I want to be at least in the mid-100, if not less (and I have far to go).

    Don't give up! It's gonna be hard and just cause you can't picture it now, doesn't mean you can't get there :)
  • RVfrog
    RVfrog Posts: 213 Member
    take it a meal at a time....look at the short term....3 meals make a day....21 meals make a wk....don't look at the big picture take small steps and you will get there.

    Do it for yourself.....one bite and one meal at a time.

    :bigsmile:
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Check out before and afters! Google "Weight loss before and after" or search MFP forums ... you will see lots of people your size and bigger that get to healthy weight.

    I struggle with this as well. Women in my family have always had weight problems, and I've always accepted that I will too. But the more B&As I see from others, the more confident I am that I will get there too. I still don't know how I'll look at a healthy size, but I'm not stopping until I find out.
  • kristimaggard
    kristimaggard Posts: 112 Member
    Girl, I wish someone would have told me when I made my lifestyle change that more work needs to go into your mentality. I would lose weight and no one could tell and I would look in the mirror and still see the same girl that I was at my heaviest. But TRUST me when I say, there's gonna be one day that you're gonna catch a glimpse of yourself or a picture will be taken and you won't even recognize who you are. I PROMISE. So pleaseeeee keep going. Don't quit! You are so worth this!!! :)
  • kristimaggard
    kristimaggard Posts: 112 Member
    AND I absolutely LOVE your name!!!! ;)
  • Alissa_Sal
    Alissa_Sal Posts: 141
    I think I get it. I don't really have a huge problem picturing myself skinny because I used to be skinny in high school, but I understand how something becomes a part of your identity and that makes it hard to let go of. I used to be kind of preversely proud of how lazy I am, how much I love to nap and how I hate exercise of all forms. My husband and I always laugh about how lazy I am - it's like a running joke in our family. Except that the heavier I get, the less funny it gets. So I know what you mean - that was part of who I was, and now I have to change that and rearrange that whole part of my idea of what I'm like. That's hard. But I think that it's worth it, because we are turning into people that are even stronger and better than the people that we used to be.

    As for being able to picture yourself as skinny - maybe don't try to take in the whole picture at once. I want to lose about 50 lbs, and when I think about it in those terms, it sounds crazy, like some kind of insane pipe dream that could never come true. I feel about as likely to lose 50 lbs as I am to win the lottery or be selected as America's Next Top Model. It overwhelms me. So instead, I try to think about acheiving all of the little goals that I want to acheive along the way. Like I just picture being able to button the next size down pants, and being able to wear a shirt that is currently too tight on me. I try to take it in little bites to get myself used to the idea, and so that I don't get overwhelmed and blow it off. I hope that helps. Good luck to you!
  • ccjacks
    ccjacks Posts: 3
    I would like to know what physically fit people over 30 actually do to stay in shape. What do they eat? How much exercise do they really do? It's hard to see myself ever losing these last 15 lbs I wish to get rid of unless I eat salad all day every day. From what I have seen in gossip columns, movie stars like Jake Gyllenhaal, Jennifer Lopez & Anniston spend 3 hours in the gym getting their butt kicked by a physical trainer and eat next to nothing. I don't think the average person can make a commitment like that. Then the average person gets upset they can't look like Madonna at 50, and figures "Why bother" and goes back to bad eating habits.

    I think the best thing to do is take it one day at a time and make short term goals. Thinking you can't do it right off the bat is definitely sabotaging your progress. Maybe start by trying to get to size 16 first. That will build your confidence and when you start seeing results that will motivate you to keep going.
  • farrellb2
    farrellb2 Posts: 120
    i totally understand, the last time i was skinny was back n like kindergarten-before school food got a hold of my thighs and stomach
  • RVfrog
    RVfrog Posts: 213 Member
    Just to let you know I started at 210 lbs and wore a size 24 dress....now I'm down whatever my slider says and wear a size 10 to 12. YOU can do it....hang it there....we want things to happen overnight but I didn't get fat overnight and I didn't lose it overnight.

    Be positive and you will go a long way...Go for it because you are worth it!! Good luck.
  • farmgirlsuz
    farmgirlsuz Posts: 351 Member
    STAY WITH IT!

    I can TOTALLY relate! I have always been the "chubby" girl but I am sticking with it. Even almost 50 pounds lighter, I still feel like the chubby girl! (OK-old lady) but I am wearing size 8 pants! It is a mental issue that you need to overcome in your head, but don't let your body and health suffer because of it! Believe me, 20-30 pounds from now you will be getting compliments left and right and you (probably) won't see it yourself, but just know that your health is TOTALLY worth it! You can do this! Don't wait until you are old(er) like me, there are too many cute clothes out there just waiting for you to show off your curves in!
  • IMYarnCraz33
    IMYarnCraz33 Posts: 1,016 Member
    my parents and sister & i are all heavy
    I've tried to get my mom & sis to join mfp. my mom has thank God.
    But where the biggest problem lies is not in necessarily visualizing yourself skinny....
    it's in your mind, your thoughts.
    do you dwell on negative thoughts? are you surrounded by negativity?
    Our biggest battle with weight-loss is in our minds.
    if we believe in ourselves and stay positive it will come to fruition.
    yeah we may have bad days but that's not a failure.
    failure simply comes from not continuing to try again.
    YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! :flowerforyou:
  • I agree with everyone... You can also try http://www.mymodel.com

    Here you can create a model of yourself and make her skinny! ;)

    Or I picked someone I thought would have a similar build and used a little art magic to give me a goal body. (See my profile shot).

    It's important to be able to imagine it. If you can see it, its possible. ;)

    Good luck! You can do it!
  • grouch201
    grouch201 Posts: 404 Member
    I would like to know what physically fit people over 30 actually do to stay in shape. What do they eat? How much exercise do they really do? It's hard to see myself ever losing these last 15 lbs I wish to get rid of unless I eat salad all day every day. From what I have seen in gossip columns, movie stars like Jake Gyllenhaal, Jennifer Lopez & Anniston spend 3 hours in the gym getting their butt kicked by a physical trainer and eat next to nothing.

    I just want to point out that there is nothing in this that sounds healthy to me. Eating next to nothing isn't healthy and if coupled with an abundance of physical activity, you're just setting yourself up to really hurt yourself eventually. Healthy to me is eating well, but responsibly, and staying active. Movie stars live in a fantasy world, the rest of us live in reality.
  • Think about getting healthy. When skinny was my goal, it didn't work. When I decided I wanted to be healthy, something clicked in my brain. I log all my food and exercise. It does help. And I pick little goals. First it was to get under 180, then to 175, then under 170. This way I feel victorious fairly often. Don't forget that at times your weight may plateau, and you'll get stuck at the same number possibly for weeks, but keep at it. I was at 176 for 3 weeks which was extremely frustrating, but finally one glorious morning the scale read 175.5! I weighed myself three times to make sure. I took a picture and sent it to my best friend.
    Reject everyone else's labels and think of the one's you want to apply to yourself. The healthy sister, the tough as nails friend, the determined one? Pick a trait you admire, apply it to yourself and go for that goal. Good Luck. You'll be okay. Persistance is the key.
  • Rikki444
    Rikki444 Posts: 326 Member
    I was always the 'fat' one in my cirlcles, too. It was just the way it always was.... but now I am about to fit into a size 4 comfortably and I still don't see 'skinny'. I think that this is a very difficult perception to break because it is a lifetime of how it was. Don't worry about that too much. Just focus your energy on your diet and workouts and your family/friends will confirm and tell you....that you are no longer the 'fat' one of the group and you will feel.... FaNTaSTiC!!!!

    All the best!
  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
    I can really relate to this and even so close to my halfway point, I still have days when I feel just like this. I've always... *always* been heavy. I'm still obese and have almost 30 more lbs to lose before I'm not obese. *sigh*

    Anyway, when I'm feeling my fat girl blues, here's what I do about it:

    -Hit the Success Stories hard on this forum. I don't always respond, but I read/view most of these on a regular basis. Seeing someone's before and after picture of 100+ lbs weight loss makes me feel like I can do it too.

    -I spend some time on http://www.mybodygallery.com I usually go through my start weight all the way down to my goal weight viewing pictures for every 10lbs of the way. It really helps me SEE yes, it can happen. (Still believe size Medium is illogical, does not compute, *head explodes*, but Large is actually in sight right now.)

    -If I still have the blues after this, I look at old pictures of myself versus more recent pictures.

    -I pay it forward. Sometimes reading posts on this website remind me that I'm not alone in feeling how I do, seeing myself how I do, and struggling. Making posts like this helps me too. It reminds me of what I've accomplished and that I can help someone else feeling this way too.

    -Still feeling blue? I talk to one of two friends who always know what to say to pick me up.

    -And last, but hardly least, some days I do this first... I go exercise. Nothing like a brisk walk to clear my head of nonsense. I always feel better afterwards if for no reason than I DID IT.

    I hope some of this helps. :smile:
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