Let’s be real...

Drew, my wife likes to drink Coca Cola, eat Cheetos and ice cream, and sleep late. She got to a point where she couldn't take her wedding ring off, and knew she needed to lose some weight. To lose weight, she drank Coca Cola, ate Cheetos and ice cream, Just a little less. She got the ring off.

That's how it works. Eat what you like, just a little less.

I like ice cream and pizza.

All of the above.

Also, if you're still worried that the "the boys" will tease you about something you really, genuinely want to do <eye roll>, pre-imagine some confident counter-gibes, and rehearse them as vividly as possible in your head in advance. "Dating a rabbit - gotta practice", "laugh at me later, when I miss out on the heart disease", "gotta counter-balance the beer" - whatever.

When with them, don't make a point of what you're doing, be low-key and matter of fact . . . but if someone mouths off, snark right back, with bravado (even if you're faking - just fake with fake confidence ). Then change the subject immediately, like a boss. The moment will pass, and after a few repetitions, your friends will get used to the new you. Flinch or cringe, and the teasing goes on forever.

This is interesting to me because I remember the days where my entire diet consisted of what you're deeming the "good food" and now if I eat those foods I will legitimately be in the bathroom for hours that night . . . so my palette - and my gut - have changed over time.

It wasn't, though, an overnight change. It was small changes at a time. It was switching out the breakfast sandwich for home made oatmeal and berries (and I put chocolate chips in my oatmeal) and then switching out that afternoon donut for an apple with peanut butter . . . which is still very sweet tasting and isn't a "nasty" green.

There's two things at play for weight gain: portion size and food choices. Some foods will be naturally more satiating than others, and other foods will be less so but have higher calorie content. With those less satiating foods, with higher calories, you end up needing to eat more because you're hungry and you go over your daily calorie limit. When you go out to eat - which I still do sometimes - you can choose to save up calories for a couple days . . . by eating lighter meals . . . or work out more.

Good food - in the sense of nutrition - isn't just made up of nasty greens and fruit. There's so many options out there to eat, you just need to do a little research and put some effort in.

You said this isn't about vanity and it's about health (you don't want to die from the complications that come with obesity) but even for the health benefits you will need to put in the effort. You will need to change your eating habits and/or working out. If you've been eating this way for X number of years and it's gotten you to a high risk situation where your doctor(s) are talking about things like heart disease and other obesity related complications then obviously something has to change. You cannot expect to be eating the same things, living the same lifestyle and get healthier - that just isn't going to happen. You need to make some changes, and you also need to understand that you need to make those changes.

If you keep doing what you've always done, you're going to continue going where you've always gone. If you want to be healthy, you'll need to put in the effort. It's that's simple.