Anyone have experience of anorexia recovery?

Bella77007 · February 2018

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, this is actually my second time in recovery as I relapsed a few months ago and hit a BMI of 16.5 then asked for help.

The first time around I was a lower weight but did not restrict as heavily, it was 900 calories and the ED team gradually increased my intake 50 a week until I was on 1600, it was a disaster, I ended up constantly binging and although my BMI never went over 21 I was so miserable that I had this relapse.

1600 was never enough really but it was my fault for refusing to go higher hence I binged.

Anyway onto this recovery attempt, I had been restricting to 450 calories for a month, 600 for the first two months, I was told to initially add 100 calories to avoid refeeding syndrome, after 5 days I went crazy and binged, I had two days on 3500, one on 2500 and finally one on 4200, I knew it had to stop and I got on the scale yesterday and had gained 8 pounds in those 4 days!

Yesterday I freaked and had 10 calories all day, this morning I was still up by 4 pounds but 4 had gone.

The ED team made me feel so bad about it, I know I risked refeeding syndrome and was stupid but the hunger was insane, I have had blood tests and an ECG, no refeeding syndrome thankfully.

I’m still underweight but scared I’ll binge again so they’ve told me to go straight onto 2000 calories, I’ve managed almost 1700 today, I’m scared and bloated like crazy.

How on earth did I gain 8 pounds in 4 days? That is about 28,000 calories without taking into account my BMR or TDEE which I ad would be low at this point but still it's a huge gain in 4 days.

I know 4 had gone this morning but I have now been given the 2000 goal because they said it will reduce the risk of me binging, I do see the logic in that but those are weight gain calories for me even when I am at a healthy weight, at a healthy weight I maintain on 1500-1600, it would be much less now.

I am scared, I do want to recover but I messed up gaining a ton of weight in those 4 days and now I fear I will just gain a ton more on 2000, even 1700 feels too much.

I am very bloated again, I am going to the bathroom but it doesn't feel like it's enough or complete some days (sorry for TMI) and prior to recovery I was going once a week.

Could some of the weight be water? Will it settle down as I continue? I was 87.5 pounds, I was losing 2 pounds per week in restriction, I am 91.5 pounds as of this morning and I know it will go up but it's so fast, 98 pounds is BMI 18.5 for me and I would like to get to 102 ish then maintain but I'm scared in case it wont stop piling on so fast.

I have a nurse, therapist who I see next week and a dietitian I see on 5th March, I'm in the UK so waiting times can be an issue, these were arranged weeks ago but now I have messed up I have no idea what the dietitian will say, I expected rapid gain but not quite this much, is it normal? I'm so worried now.

GLady1980 · February 2018

I would not worry I am sure part of the 8lbs is just your body trying to deal with the fluctuation of the cals you are consuming and that is the same for the bloating. Starting as soon as you can I would follow their advise and try to stick to 2000cals or as close as you can, even 1700 would be better then 10. It is not healthy to change the amount you are consuming by so much 3500 one day and 10 the next. When things feel like they are spiraling just slow down take a deep breath and know you are one step closer to where you need to be and be proud of the hard work you are doing

It is not an easy task you have taken on but you are doing it for your health and well being and if you keep it up, every day you will be that much closer to your end goal. You should be proud of your accomplishments so far

if you would like feel free to add me as a friend. On a side note how tall are you?

MichelleSilverleaf · February 2018

Take a deep breath. Given that your goal is to gain weight I wouldn't worry too much about putting it on, and you could take this time to get familiar about CICO. Your body also may take some time to get regular bathroom habits again, so just nourish yourself best you can and give it time. I speak from experience that anxiety can add further stress to that department, take it a day at a time. Once you get to a healthy weight plug your height, weight, age and activity level into a TDEE calculator, that number you'll get will be the number of calories your body needs a day to properly function. Eat to that number. Also understand that you're going to have fluctuations in the range of 5-10lbs, and that's NORMAL. We all get them, and it can be from a new exercise routine, too much sodium, or TOM. Hopefully your therapist can help you pinpoint what's triggering your binge cycles and help you get some measure of control back.

Cbean08 · February 2018

Been there, done that/still doing it. Recovery is hard, no way around it.

3 things
1. don't weigh yourself, at all.
2. find more support- I went through a lot of inpatient care with 24 hour staff and support. I needed it because left on my, my eating disorder completely took over my mind. If a higher level of care is not an option, you need to create your own support network of friends and family members. Have people who can eat meals with you and hang out in between.
3. have a plan- for a while, I had a very strict meal plan that I was able to stick to. I ate at the same time everyday. I ate pretty much the exact same thing everyday. The structure helped me get used to eating again and I stopped distrusting in food. Then, making changes didn't seem so hard, because I could just make one small change at a time.

The initial jump is awful and your body is going to feel all out of whack. It's fine, really, just try to relax. You've tortured it long enough so it's not just going to cooperate when you all of a sudden change what you've been doing. This is also why having a plan is crucial so then you aren't relying on hunger cues or appetite.

Sending you a hug and good luck.

fitoverfortymom · February 2018

I helped my daughter recover. Don't weigh yourself. Eat the food your recovery team tells you to. Really eat the food your recovery team tells you to.

ayesha639 · February 2018

Yep, totally agree with the above. Throw away your scale, pretend it isn't there. If you're serious and ready for recovery, the scale is the worst thing for you. I'm sorry eating more has made you feel ill and bloated, that must be offputting, but you should stick with it. I think the extreme hunger is normal, it's not a development of binge eating disorder or anything, but it's your body trying to get everything it needs after being hungry so long. Once you're out of risk of refeeding syndrome and if you can stomach it, many of the best recovery stories use the Minnie Mauds method, over 3500 cals a day. Trying to recover at 1600 can't work because you'll eventually end up losing weight.
Sorry for the bit of a rant and good luck x

Anyone have experience of anorexia recovery?

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