"Everything in moderation" not working for me, HELP!

slim_photographer
slim_photographer Posts: 310 Member
edited September 30 in Motivation and Support
First of all let me tell you that the philosophy of ‘nothing is out of limits, everything in moderation’ is a bunch of garbage, junk, trash, etc. But I use to beat that drum and I seriously need to stop now.
I just can’t do it and I’m raising my white flag in recognition, I surrender to the idea that some things are never good for you, or at least for me and that if I want to start acting and living like the healthy person I want to be, there are things, or foods (if you can even call them that), that I need to avoid at all cost.
In my bio I clearly stated way back when I filled it that I’m great planner but fail to execute. So when I analyzed my food diary and see that whenever I have a big restaurant meal or a junk food meal, it’d take me several days to get back into the regimen.
And then I started thinking, analyzing, planning putting in writing, etc. What junk food is and how to stay away from it, but if there’s a pattern to be recognized here is that I’m taking the same approach that failed me in the past, so I will stop analyzing, planning, etc. instead I’m opening myself up to the fact that I need help with this goal, I can’t do it alone.

If ‘cheat days’ and ‘junk in moderation’ work for you, great! Don’t support that idea with me here, I already know it works for some, for me it does not. I’m looking for support from people that seem to stay very very far away from unhealthy food and condemn eating such things.

Some facts that I want to keep clear in my mind at all times:
1- Crappy comfort food is not a reward, seeing results is the reward for sticking to a healthier diet.
2- 30 mins of ‘feeling good’ is no match for 24/7 of feeling good
3- I am one that can’t give in to ‘junk food in moderation’ because for me there’s no such thing. When I give in I complete go into ‘all or nothing’ mode and have several days of overeating. Therefore I’ll take the ‘NO JUNK FOOD[period]’ approach.
4- Food is fuel. It’s not my mommy, it’s not a pillow and definitely not my shrink. For all intensive purposes I could eat 1800 calories of tasteless sources every single day and I will probably be Ok as long as I get the nutrients, this is a exaggeration of course but food is supposed to give us mainly energy and we associate feelings to eating events but by no means is eating the only way to have a good time or to feel better. If hunger is not the problem, then food is not the solution.

This is embarrassing but is the only thing I haven’t tried and I really want to be healthier for my family, for God and for myself.

Replies

  • whisperingdragon
    whisperingdragon Posts: 334
    Congrats on the 60 pound weight loss! That is a lot.

    I agree with you on staying away from Junky type foods. I know everyone is different. Do what you need to do to stay focused on your goals.

    Bless you and your's.. I wish the best for you and only the best.
  • modernfemme
    modernfemme Posts: 454 Member
    It's awesome to have that moment where you get serious - but do keep in mind this is a lifestyle change. For example, I've discovered that I simply can't handle a few chips - or even the allocated serving amount of 20 chips. Next thing I know, the entire family bag is gone in 2 days. So - I don't buy them every week.

    However, I am a firm believer in this - if you deny yourself the food you love, you're going to quit and not stick with it. You have to allow yourself things.

    For example, if I had to give up wine, I'd have been off this wagon a long time ago.

    Good luck!!!!
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
    I SUCK at moderation, too! BUMP! :/
  • fastbelly
    fastbelly Posts: 727 Member
    Let me tell you that everything in moderation is very well achievable! The problem is most people's concept of moderation is a bit (a good bit) off the mark

    Here's what moderation is all about:

    ETNDW(1)(1).gif

    Why would you want to eat garbage as you call it? Would you go into your trash and start eating it? No, so why would you like to eat garbage foods if you know they are garbage?

    The problem is on the mind, while you don't throw away the mental desire to consume "garbage" you will always feel deprived and eventually one day some event will have you say "enough is enough" and you'll be back to your old habits. Just like a ex smoker that has just one.
  • mjmoore8480
    mjmoore8480 Posts: 26
    You are not alone!! I sat down with my little measured out serving of potato chips recently, and ended up going back and eating half the bag. Then I sat down and made my self so miserable that I "drowned my sorrows" in chocolate. I now know that I am incapable of "moderation" when it comes to junk food- I've just had to cut it completely. One thing that has helped me is finding substitutes for the foods I really cant go without- if you search enough you can find websites that have recipes for healthier faves. (my fave is skinnytaste.com) Good luck!!!
  • ajanmillie
    ajanmillie Posts: 241 Member
    I definitely agree with you to a point. I think everyone has that certain food that is not safe to eat ever. Moderation seems to work for me with most foods, but my mom makes delicious filipino snack that is basically rice flour and sugar and coconut milk, and there does not seem to be control for me, so I simply do not eat it. I do eat other snacks that taste good but do not compel me to binge. Since we are all different, I think the key is to do what works for you and no one else.
  • bluebird321
    bluebird321 Posts: 733 Member
    I don't believe in moderation. An insulin spike is an insulin spike.
    Just my opinion of course.
  • milaxx
    milaxx Posts: 1,122 Member
    Never been a fan of the "everything in moderation" philosophy. Some things I shouldn't eat and to me it's a slippery slop of excuses right up there with the "just this one time" mentality. That said congrats on recognizing it doesn't work for you and more importantly congrats on your weight loss so far.
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
    I've learned I can't do simple carbs. They are like crack to me (Picture the shark in Finding Nemo when he had that small sniff of blood - that's me... a carb frenzy follows ANY indulgence in sugar, bread, pasta, etc.) It can take me DAYS to get back to schedule after a carb binge. So, I try not to do it. I'm not always successful, but I try to eat as clean as possible. Not because I feel guilty if I falter - it just makes it so damn hard if I do. I'd rather say a quick no, than be fighting cravings for the next 3 days. The "easy" way for me is to avoid it altogether.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    I personally don't agree with you... because everything in moderation is what works for me.I can limit the junk that I eat because if it's not off limits and I know that I can still have it, it makes it easier to choose better options because I want to be accountable and healthy. Besides if you were to tell me that I need to stop eating chocolate or sweets, then you better be prepared not to come around me ever because I'd be the biggest ***** ever :)

    It's all about what works for you and your body... and if cutting out things works, then more power to ya!
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    I can agree. I "indulged" in a sugary drink last week, and I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach all day. The longer I do this, the more I cut out. Period. For good.
  • perceptualobfuscator
    perceptualobfuscator Posts: 159 Member
    Edit because I missed the part in your post only asking for support rather than suggestions. Oops!! Apologies for my poor reading comprehension; no intention to derail the discussion.

    The relevant part of what I'm saying is good luck, and do what works for you.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,956 Member
    The main reason I don't like the "no junk only healthy food" approach is because it really only takes ONE lapse in judgement and or surrender and usually (especially for the all or nothing types), they falter and return to the junk. Learn how to moderate and that would be solved.
    So here's the tough love............buck up! You don't want it bad enough or else you'd discipline yourself enough to realize that overeating is the issue.
    Understand that you can overeat on healthy food too. Many a member here can "polish" off a jar of natural peanut butter if they wanted to. Same with whole wheat bread.
    It's not the food, it's your lack of discipline in knowing when to stop. Gotta want it bad enough.
  • TammiAcker
    TammiAcker Posts: 53 Member
    I see both sides of the fence since I've been on this yo-yo my whole life. If I go "cold turkey" from something I love... all that does is make the temptation that much stronger. And eventually I give in, think my diet is screwed and "fall off the wagon". It sounds like to me that is kinda what happens to you. You have to quit beating yourself up. So what you ate something and overindulged. Go workout after it, make your next meal a salad....Acknowledge it, own it and then actively do something to correct it. I do believe in everything in moderation but with a certain mind set. I automatically look at the calories and calculate how long I would have to spend working out to burn it off---then that's when I decide if it is worth it? Am i willing to spend x amount of time on the treadmill for this sugar/carb loaded item? Eventually if you do chose the healthier food over the bad food when you do give in and eat say that bacon cheeseburger with your buddies--it doesn't taste as good.... you can feeeeel the grease and it changes your opinion of your fav foods.....Remember this is a lifestyle change not just a temp diet to drop a few pounds.

    But this is just my experience. Hope this helps.
  • myiceisonfire
    myiceisonfire Posts: 782 Member
    I think you can have everything in moderation. But some people don't know what moderation is. Some people believe that you can eat whatever you want as long as you stay i your calories, but not true. ... I have lost 66bs in the last year, eating whatever I want, BUT in moderation. If I want ice cream I have it, but only 1/2 a cup. ...

    Also, if you keep yourself from having ANY "junk" then you crave it and go crazy, and when you DO let yourself have it you go over board.

    Also if someone doesn't do the "moderation" but they do allow them self "junk" as you call it, it's because they don't have self control.

    If a person wants something bad enough, they need to work for it.
  • sweetsapphire85
    sweetsapphire85 Posts: 386
    There is a balance for me. There are some things that I know if I have one It'll all be lost for me (potato chips, and soda) I've mad ethe changes and once i try it again my whole healthy eating experience is ruined. Other things I can limit into smaller and rare instances. Alcoholic drinks and eating out I can do once every 2 weeks and not make me lose my stride, and I plan that night out and look forward to it.

    It's really a matter of knowing yourself and your personal eating and even exercising habits. (ie: I KNOW i can't do 10 minutes of cardio for warm up and go back for another 30...I'll find whatever I can to avoid it and justify not doing it--not the greatest disipline in that area but If i get on right away and do all 45 minutes and then do slightly less intense cardio (power walk) I don't have as much of a problem)

    Each persons style is different and we need to learn about ourselves to know how we can make this healthy lifestyle work.
  • MacguyverMommy
    MacguyverMommy Posts: 104 Member
    I couldnt agree more an I ENVY you!!!! LOVE this post
  • Chenoachem
    Chenoachem Posts: 1,758 Member
    Try reading "The 4-Hour Body" By Tim Ferriss. You seem to be an analytical person like myself and this might help you as it has helped me.

    http://www.fourhourbody.com/
  • statia152
    statia152 Posts: 558
    If moderation works for some, then great! I am not one of the lucky ones. I seriously think I am a "sugar addict", I even get that flushed face and the tiny sweat beads on my upper lip. (no, I'm not diabetic). I've said it before, If I eat cake on Monday, I crave it until Thursday!! So, like any addict, I don't put it in my body. It takes me weeks to get back on track. I think of it like my migraine headaches: IT IS A TRIGGER THAT CAUSES UNDESIRED RESULTS. I can "kill" the craving with fruit, sf gum ... So I totally get where you're coming from. The first step is to identify the problem. Don't forget, many (?) MFP members have food issues; what my work for some, may not work for others. The great thing is there are so many here who share wonderful advice / experiences!
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    If ‘cheat days’ and ‘junk in moderation’ work for you, great! Don’t support that idea with me here, I already know it works for some, for me it does not.

    Finding out what works best for your own body = :smile:
    You're on your way!
  • RMinVA
    RMinVA Posts: 1,085 Member
    I cleaned a lot of crap out of my diet a long time ago, and quite frankly I don't miss it!! And I agree that regardless of the type of food, too much is too much. My biggest issue when I started losing weight wasn't necessarily my diet itself. I was already making a lot of healthy choices, but I was just eating too much and not exercising enough.

    I also completely agree, that it's all about what works best for you!! I often say "if I own it I will eat it." So I try to keep the fridge and pantry stocked with healthy foods. My last trip to Wegmans was pretty much just fresh fruits and veggies since the freezer is loaded w/protein. Heaven forbid I bring a jar of Nutella into the house....

    But we do "relax" a bit on weekends when we go out. I did fall into the trap of eating things because "I earned" them after a long bike ride or big run and that is a VERY slippery slope and IMO it had a role in the 15# or so I packed on since I hit my lowest weight about 2 years ago. Overall, though, this approach has worked for me...in spite of the weight I have gained, I have maintained a 50# loss for over 3 years now.
  • FutureM
    FutureM Posts: 9
    Wow! You sounds just like me. Every time I slip off of my "diet" for a cheat day or try to tell myself "only one" it's a total catastrophe! I've just started realizing that I cannot keep trying to make "everything in moderation" work for me, because it doesn't. That's why I recently joined this site. I'm trying to eat WHOLE, NATURAL, "good for me" foods and stay away from processed, chemical, bad fat foods. I'm only on day two (ha!)... but i already feel SO much better and feel like my mind is much more clear! :)

    But, I joined this site for extra support to stay away from those bad foods and keep my new lifestyle going. I don't want this to be just a diet. Also, I just read Jillian Michael's book "Master Your Metabolism" and it basically talks about how all these crap foods mess with our body's hormones and causes us to feel differently and basically, be fat!

    So... maybe we can encourage each other! haha
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
    If you found something that works for you, that's wonderful. I *think* the moderation thing works for me - I still eat a cookie or a HoHo here and there - but I really have to go out of my way for it, whereas before, I'd always have that stuff around. So who knows, maybe I *did* just cut all that stuff out.

    I think it's absolutely true that moderation doesn't work for everyone. There are people who have serious trigger foods who are not able, without bigtime help and work, to eat reasonable portions of those foods and then STOP. It's not a matter of willpower; it's compulsive. It can be treated, but if it's easier to avoid that food all together - I say go with that option. It's about finding what works and is sustainable in the long run.
  • javablondie
    javablondie Posts: 411 Member
    Never been a fan of the "everything in moderation" philosophy. Some things I shouldn't eat and to me it's a slippery **slop** of excuses right up there with the "just this one time" mentality. That said congrats on recognizing it doesn't work for you and more importantly congrats on your weight loss so far.

    Love this potentially Freudian slip.
  • javablondie
    javablondie Posts: 411 Member
    I don't believe in moderation. An insulin spike is an insulin spike.
    Just my opinion of course.

    Exactly. I agree with sentence 1, 2, and 3!

    And love your signature quote, ""People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." –the Dalai Lama"

    I fully support the original poster - do what works for *you*. [I can't believe all the "you're doing it wrong, you just don't know moderation, etc" type replies!]
  • cutie2b
    cutie2b Posts: 194 Member
    I totally agree with you. I've tried to eat in moderation. With me, that's not possible. If I eat junk, I can't stop. I tried for the longest time to drink only one can of soda per day/week/month, whatever. I can't do it. So I gave up on that idea. I am trying to eliminate extra sugar and processed foods now. Good luck and congratulations!
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