For those with an overweight SO

dklmiller
dklmiller Posts: 55 Member
in Chit-Chat
Do you notice? Do you ever wish he/she would just stick with it for once and lose the weight? I guess I just wonder that a lot. My husband is fit and I’m about 30 pounds overweight. He’s only 5 pounds heavier than me. I’m glad he is happy and healthy. I just wish I was too. More importantly I wish I knew the things he’s too nice to say but thinks.

Replies

  • dklmiller
    dklmiller Posts: 55 Member
    That’s awesome. Maybe I’m just letting my insecurities talk.
  • dklmiller
    dklmiller Posts: 55 Member
    Thank you very much. Your right!
  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
    AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »
    My husband is overweight. He was overweight when I dated him, said yes, put on his ring and married him. Sure, I wish he'd lose the weight (he's trying), but considering I myself wasn't fit in the slightest and ate like a gross cow when we got married, it'd hardly be fair to start demanding he change from the person I fell in love with, would it? He'll turn it around when he's ready, and I'll be there to support ad cheer him on every step of the way.

    Same. I could've written this myself.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    We're both overweight, but I would say he wears it much nicer than I do (6'4", broad shoulders, etc.). He doesn't seem to mind me being overweight. I've been overweight (in some varying degree) since I was 11-ish, so maybe it doesn't bother him because that's how he's always seen me? For me, it doesn't bother me that he's overweight because I didn't marry him on that premise. It's taken me 10+ years, but I finally believe him when he says complimentary things to me. He's just that sort of person.

    Personally, I like that I can sometimes lie on his stomach and pretend to be a really large cat, lol. I see now why they prefer his midsection and my butt. :D:D
  • elizarizo
    elizarizo Posts: 470 Member
    My ex was skinny, and I was the over weight one, he didn’t mind it
    He seen me very thin he seen me chubby
    I think you just need to be happy with who you are and being healthy is what matters....
  • elizarizo
    elizarizo Posts: 470 Member
    lavinia_whateley_goals wrote: »
    dklmiller wrote: »
    Do you notice? Do you ever wish he/she would just stick with it for once and lose the weight? I guess I just wonder that a lot. My husband is fit and I’m about 30 pounds overweight. He’s only 5 pounds heavier than me. I’m glad he is happy and healthy. I just wish I was too. More importantly I wish I knew the things he’s too nice to say but thinks.

    u really want to know if yr husband wishes u had a better body? u could never unhear him sayin that you know

    and i doubt any guy would be honest on a forum like this “yeah my wife would be hotter if she dropped like 20 pounds” because he prolly loves her and would never say anything hurtful like that behind her back either

    and coz he loves u and yr thighs are attached to u like a package deal he prolly loves them too, even tho theyre lumpy now or whatever

    but if u want to lose weight u know you are prolly more attractive if youre fit and youre prolly more confident too so use that as motivation and do it for yrself instead



    That last part I don’t agree with... sure do it for yourself, but being attractive and confident can be at any weight
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    I once had a SO who became overweight. It was strange because I didn't notice it until one day he pointed it out to me, he had stretch marks

    It concerned me because it upset him...I noticed other problems, but not the weight gain until it was pointed out
  • doubleap77
    doubleap77 Posts: 47 Member
    I have to echo Deadman up there:

    My wife is overweight and has been for our entire relationship. I don’t love her any less for her size. Looking to the future, however, I would love to see her lose some weight so that we could enjoy long lives together. Obesity has comorbidities with a ton of diseases, and potentially living my retired years without the woman I love makes me a little sad.

    All that said... It’s not always about “hotness” or attraction, but wanting to see the other person succeed and live happliy ever after.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    dklmiller wrote: »
    Do you notice? Do you ever wish he/she would just stick with it for once and lose the weight? I guess I just wonder that a lot. My husband is fit and I’m about 30 pounds overweight. He’s only 5 pounds heavier than me. I’m glad he is happy and healthy. I just wish I was too. More importantly I wish I knew the things he’s too nice to say but thinks.


    Do you believe that you can not change your weight or fitness level and maintain it? If not why do you think that?
    Are you ready to lose weight? Do you want it bad enough to do things like track your intake?

    I gained weight going from an active lifestyle eating whatever to sedentary and eating the same. When I eat the right calories for my size and activity level I lose weight. It takes time and effort.
    My dh lost weight mainly due to a medication altering his appetite. He did not set out to lose weight. He did not log food or exercise. He just did not feel like eating. I have moments when I feel tired of making the effort to lose weight and am a little jealous. I'll probably always have to work harder to manage my weight. I keep my jealous thoughts to myself and dh doesn't tell me how easy it was for him to drop 30 lbs and I should just eat less.

    I got very serious about losing weight when I got tired of being in pain, out of breath, not able to keep up with my family, not able to fit clothes I wanted to wear. I don't want to be sick or stuck in a chair. I got mad at the direction I was headed and said to myself *kitten* this, I deserve to live a full healthy life. It had nothing to do with what my husband thought of me or being a good example for my child. It was incredibly selfish. I was not a bad person for being overweight but I was not living the way I want to live. Started losing weight and realized how badly off I had been. Just 10 lbs less made a difference in how I felt physically and increased what I was able to do. I think I almost cried when I could bend over and tie my shoe.

    My dh has only said he wants me to be healthy and happy whatever size I am. I feel the same about him.

    Stop worrying about what your dh or others might secretly think and do what is right for you.
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  • HappyathomeMN
    HappyathomeMN Posts: 498 Member
    More importantly I wish I knew the things he’s too nice to say but thinks.

    I bet he doesn't say any of the things that you say to yourself!
  • culpablecorgi
    culpablecorgi Posts: 15 Member
    My boyfriend and I are both on the bigger side. Surprisingly, his health isn't affected. The only two significant health problems he has are depression and a condition that causes severe nosebleeds, and neither relate to his weight. Me on the other hand, my asthma is slightly exacerbated by excess weight and I'm prone to fatty liver when I gain weight back (but thankfully it's still really easy to keep in check!) so I'm a little jealous of him. Ultimately I don't need him to change anything about his lifestyle, and he's very supportive of me (I even got him to eat more veggies just by looking out for myself)

    We're both totally fine with being a cosmetically overweight couple though. Having extra squish doesn't matter to us as long as no one's sick from it.
  • KTeaKat
    KTeaKat Posts: 9 Member
    Let me start by saying my husband and I are both overweight.

    He has always been very insecure and has always had jealousy issues. Any time I've gone on a fitness kick and lost weight, we've had marital issues. I don't know if he thinks I do it to attract other men or what. I'm not doing this for anyone but me. I have three kids to care for and they need their mom. His insecurity drives me insane.

    Sometimes I feel like he's trying to sabotage my progress. Prior to Valentines Day, he asked me what I wanted. I told him, "Anything BUT candy. I do not want candy!" Guess what he gets me for V-day? Candy.

    I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to get healthy and I want him to join me in this quest....but I can't seem to get him on board. I also can't seem to get him to support my progress. He says he does. He makes excuses for his actions and comments all the time. His excuse for the Valentine's thing is that he's a guy and should have listened better. Whatever.

    My point is, if your spouse is healthy and active, GREAT!! Get on board with him and support him. I wish I had the same. Don't get me wrong. I love my husband even with his being overweight. I wish he would love me with my weight-loss. I wish he would be more supportive. He's acting like a complete jackwagon though and I really want to kick his butt.
  • telisew94
    telisew94 Posts: 12 Member
    He is your husband. He will love you no matter what size, honestly I doubt he has ever thought anything bad about your weight! It's also harder for women then men for weight loss! Give yourself some credit sweets and love your body in all phases of this journey! I garentee your hubby already does <3
  • beachgal0626
    beachgal0626 Posts: 1,912 Member
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    My wife is a little overweight, but since I do the cooking, I guess that means that I have to take on some of the responsibility. Her weight had little to do with what attracted me to her. She was beautiful then and she is beautiful now. She was diagnosed as pre-diabetic about 20 months ago. I went to all her nutrition classes with her. Learned how to successfully change our diets to bring her blood sugar down. And, as of a couple months ago, she is no longer considered pre-diabetic. A side affect was that we have both lost weight in the process.

    And, by the way, one of the reasons she gained weight was giving me three of the greatest gifts I could ever have been given. My three daughters.

    l70kmpychm21.png

    Awww! What a cute couple! You have mentioned your wife/relationship in several posts, so I'm glad we're finally seeing a photo of the two of you. Sweet!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    beachgal0626 wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    My wife is a little overweight, but since I do the cooking, I guess that means that I have to take on some of the responsibility. Her weight had little to do with what attracted me to her. She was beautiful then and she is beautiful now. She was diagnosed as pre-diabetic about 20 months ago. I went to all her nutrition classes with her. Learned how to successfully change our diets to bring her blood sugar down. And, as of a couple months ago, she is no longer considered pre-diabetic. A side affect was that we have both lost weight in the process.

    And, by the way, one of the reasons she gained weight was giving me three of the greatest gifts I could ever have been given. My three daughters.

    l70kmpychm21.png

    Awww! What a cute couple! You have mentioned your wife/relationship in several posts, so I'm glad we're finally seeing a photo of the two of you. Sweet!

    And this is her when I first married her. 25 years later and I still think she is one of a kind.

    71asild5pqy1.png
  • MarissaLock3
    MarissaLock3 Posts: 14 Member
    The hubby and I were both overweight but we didn't really notice it about each other until we started losing weight and looking at old pictures. :s My husband found me attractive either way, but since losing weight I've noticed I'm more comfortable with myself. I feel more attractive and I'm more willing to put myself out there. I've even invested in lingerie that I wouldn't have even looked at 6 months ago.

    And trust me, my husband is very happy about that. ;):D

    But hey, if you wish it, make it happen. It took me a while to realize I wanted to change, and I now that I've started I want to make sure I never go back. But I guarantee your husband loves you and is attracted to you no matter what because girl you're gorgeous!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    The only thing I'll say is that my wife and I both put on a little winter weight every year...nothing major, but definitely some fluff. I'd say she feels a lot better about herself when she's a bit leaner and that plays out in other areas.
  • elizarizo
    elizarizo Posts: 470 Member
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    My wife is a little overweight, but since I do the cooking, I guess that means that I have to take on some of the responsibility. Her weight had little to do with what attracted me to her. She was beautiful then and she is beautiful now. She was diagnosed as pre-diabetic about 20 months ago. I went to all her nutrition classes with her. Learned how to successfully change our diets to bring her blood sugar down. And, as of a couple months ago, she is no longer considered pre-diabetic. A side affect was that we have both lost weight in the process.

    And, by the way, one of the reasons she gained weight was giving me three of the greatest gifts I could ever have been given. My three daughters.

    l70kmpychm21.png

    This is wonderful!

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