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Hello,

I've been using myfitnesspal (this time) since december. I've been trying to eat half of what I usually eat, have had some splurges, but not as many as usual the past two years. I've actually obtained my goal weight two years ago, I had a regular eating schedule, walked 10 000 steps a day and had dance classes twice a week and was proud about how I looked.
Since then I have turned 30 (31 now, actually) and I've found a man, we live together. The first half year of our relationship I didn't really care as much (I didn't think I would gain this much weight so quickly) and he liked it when I ate with him. I'm not saying that it is his fault, but he somehow made me eat more, and I didn't find the time to walk 10 000 steps a day anymore and six months later the dance classes were cancelled (for the past 6 months)... so I gained all the weight back, probably even more than the weight I started with.

Now (like I said) I try to eat half of what I regularly eat, I try to loose the weight by managing what I eat just like I did two years ago, I try to move more, getting 10 000 steps a day more frequently (but not yet on daily basis), jogging and actually made it to 5k... I eat more fruit, log my food so I know when I eat too much, try not to eat potato chips but I don't seem to get the results that I think I should get with this effort... it's kind of frustrating and sometimes I almost want to give up because of it.. (I love to eat, so trying not to eat as I used to is hard). I don't know what to do anymore.

Has someone been there (gained weight in a relationship that you just don't seem to be able to lose)? I'm kind of desperate for any tips that anyone could give me :)
Maybe there are ways to find more time to exercice or something..

Thanks,

Angie Verhaegen

Replies

  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
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    Hi Angie, you need to actually weigh and measure and log everything you eat. It is so easy to consume extra calories here and there and not be really aware of how much you are eating when you are just "eating less". Splurging here and there can also undo all your efforts very quickly. It's not hard to lose if you are keeping track but just eating less is sometimes disappointing. I'm guessing your calories have climbed up as much from WHAT you are eating as how much. Men tend to lean towards higher calorie foods if they aren't watching their weight and I'm guessing you cook to please his tastes. I would suggest logging what you are eating right now just to see how many calories you are really ingesting. Load your weight, age and weight loss goals into MFP and see how many calories you need to get where you want to go. You might be surprised.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    It doesn't have anything to do with relationships, weightloss is pretty straightforward - eat less, move more, and be honest and patient. How many calories are you aiming for, are you hitting that target on the daily (or weekly on average), and if you are losing weight, how much have you lost since what date?
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    I suspect a food scale and honest logging would make a huge difference for you.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10634517/you-dont-use-a-food-scale
  • ZRunner5Lulaica
    ZRunner5Lulaica Posts: 168 Member
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    I gained weight around a year after I started dating my now husband. The main reason was that I moved in with him across town (I used to live a block from work, so I went from a 10 minute walk to an hour+ drive).

    He would join me on my runs when he stayed the night (Wednesday after work and Saturday mornings), and I was losing my college weight. But we gained different schedule and had to prioritize different things when we moved in.

    What makes it hard is that we now work different jobs with different schedules (I have a set schedule, he has a more flexible schedule), both commute a significant amount (45 minutes for me, he has the same hour+), and we're both foodies.

    It all means that we have to both put in extra work and do things separately that we used to do together. The relationship didn't really have anything to do with it. It was life that had to do with it.
  • ladyhusker39
    ladyhusker39 Posts: 1,406 Member
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    You say "limited results". What exactly does that mean? What are your stats: age, height, weight? Are you tracking with MFP? What settings did you chose: weekly weight loss, activity level? How many calories does it give you? Do you log your exercise? How? How many calories do you assume?
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    Its easy to get complacent with our lives, we think we are doing well then boom weight creep happens and we aren't paying attention. When you eat enough over maintenance each week before you know it weight creep has happened.

    We can gain weight eating 'healthy food' just as any other types of food we consume. That said losing weight comes down to the same process with everyone. Get back to the basics, eat less, exercise if you want, move around more in general. When our weight loss goals are met, the maintaining takes the same disciple as it did to lose.

    No food scale? You don't have to use one, but it would be good to get into this habit for now so you see how much you are eating now and how much less you need to eat for weight loss. Consider using the food scale and logging daily this will be your best tools for success!
  • momandhercoffeeblog
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    I completely get the complacent with a significant other thing. I’ve been married for nearly ten years, and the weight really packed on this last year, after two kids and toss in a new sedentary job. At first I tried to calorie count without letting him know- because I was embarrassed by the weight gain. It didn’t work. This time I clued him in and he is super supportive. We celebrate my mini milestones together and there is zero pressure to have a cupcake/order an appetizer/finish off the spaghetti, etc.

    My vote is to take the time for classes for yourself (Always take the time to do something for yourself, no matter what you relationship status is), track everything, and add his support to the mix. Good luck!