Miscarriage and Weight Loss: Support and Motivation!

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MarissaLock3
MarissaLock3 Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello Everyone!

Back in August I joined myfitnesspal for the first time. This was about 2 months after my miscarriage and maybe a day or so after getting freedom from depression that plagued me after losing my sweet baby. I was motivated to make a change. I wanted to get in the 180 lb - 189 lb range before my husband and I decided to try again. I hit that goal in Novemberish. As the holidays came, I decided to not log as much and just make better choices about what I ate and portion sizes.

Well, I made it through the holidays, fluctuating between my lowest weight (184.5 lbs) and about 190ish. Honestly, I'm super proud of myself for that, especially considering I wasn't logging at all. While weight loss was a goal, I wanted to get to a point of making better choices about what I ate and being able to maintain weight on my own. It was a big win for me! And in the end of January, my husband and I found out we were expecting again. Unfortunately that news only lasted about 2 weeks before I had another miscarriage. So this is now my second miscarriage with no living children.

I think I felt a little defeated. I had a streak of about 182 days on the app, and I ended up missing a few days of logging in at all. But like last time, I decided to pull myself together and continue to make positive changes. I have about 3 months before doctors want my husband and I to consider trying again. In that time, I know I can lose the weight if I really keep motivated and keep putting the hard work and the logging in.

If you know anything about me, you know I hate running. But I decided today to start using the Couch to 5K running app to begin doing some cardio (and honestly I think it'd be pretty cool to run a 5K). I'm going to make a point to still try and do yoga as well and stick with it. I started yoga again beginning of January but stopped once I found out I was pregnant until I could talk to the doctor. I haven't started again since the second miscarriage.

ANYWAYS, all of that is to say I'd love to find some other women to find support and motivation in the group, both for miscarriage and weight loss/fitness goals. Feel free to add me, discuss here in this post, whatever you're comfortable with. Tell us your name, some things about yourself, a little about your sweet babies gone too soon (if you're comfortable doing so), your weight loss or fitness goal, and a fun fact about yourself. You're not alone in what you're going through. <3

So my name is Marissa. I'm currently in upstate New York with my husband and our 3 cats, Trixie, Popsicle, and Smudge. My two babies I lost are Riley Brooks (June 2017, 8 weeks) and Sawyer Wynn (February 2018, 5 weeks). My goal is to get to 165 lbs and be able to run a 5K. Fun fact: I was Boy Scout.

I look forward to being on this journey with all of you!


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Replies

  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
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    Sorry to hear about your loses, yet its sad and it's something you will never forget. Time is a great healer, and during this time you are going to have good days and bad days.
    My advice to you is not to get pregnant in 5 months or what the doctor tells you.
    You need to learn to grieve and get your body/mind in a better place, so that when you finally get pregnant the time feels right.
    Losing the weight will definitely help you, also if you can pull of the running and start doing things outside of trying to get pregnant.
    Sometimes we tend to focus on what and not on how we need to bring all the pieces together to get what we want.
    From reading your piece, you had two babies dying in a short space of time.
    I would say give yourself a year and then try again, and good luck.
  • MarissaLock3
    MarissaLock3 Posts: 14 Member
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    socajam wrote: »
    Sorry to hear about your loses, yet its sad and it's something you will never forget. Time is a great healer, and during this time you are going to have good days and bad days.
    My advice to you is not to get pregnant in 5 months or what the doctor tells you.
    You need to learn to grieve and get your body/mind in a better place, so that when you finally get pregnant the time feels right.
    Losing the weight will definitely help you, also if you can pull of the running and start doing things outside of trying to get pregnant.
    Sometimes we tend to focus on what and not on how we need to bring all the pieces together to get what we want.
    From reading your piece, you had two babies dying in a short space of time.
    I would say give yourself a year and then try again, and good luck.

    I hold my sweet little ones in heart each day. <3 I know each person is different when it comes to grieving and healing, and for me certain days are harder than others. I've gone through grief and I've had support, and I know that I'm in a good and healthy place mentally, I just want to physically catch up again. Honestly if I wasn't for the doctors restrictions I would probably try again sooner than 3 months. It's hard to explain, and again, it's different for everyone. Some people wait it out and need more time. I needed that for my first one and waited 7 months. I had to push myself to wait for January by the end of November. My heart, mind, soul, spirit, every part of me is a peace. My faith keeps me going, keeps healing, keeps fighting for me.

    I appreciate the advice and your perspective! Definitely some things I'll keep in mind!
  • action0099
    action0099 Posts: 12 Member
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    Hurricane Harvey happened while I was 6 weeks pregnant and I lost the baby at 9 weeks. I don’t know if that contributed at all; but we lost everything. Over the next 4 mos I gained 20lbs. I have been doing cardio and logging with MFP since January 4 and am finally down 15.4 lbs.
    Hang in there miscarriages are so odd and make us feel horrible. For me, i have 2 healthy children and had never had one before.
    I think that I am going to take some time and get in shape and then try again after awhile.
    I hope that you hit all of your goals!
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,172 Member
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    So sorry to hear about your losses. I can tell you that the Couch to 5K program is very good. I enjoyed making progress. I repeated Week 4, but there’s no shame in going your own pace! I loved that phone app, especially when the voice prompt said I could walk!!
  • ilfaith
    ilfaith Posts: 16,769 Member
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    I am very sorry for your losses. I have been there as well, and it is never easy. I suffered my first miscarriage at 34, my first pregnancy after two years of trying to conceive. Naturally I was devastated. Even though I was only seven weeks along, it was heartbreaking after so many months of trying. My Ob said there was no medical reason for me to wait to start trying again, and two cycles later, I was pregnant with my oldest son (he's 13 now). A second boy came along two years later, and two years after that the idea to try for one more arose. I figured we could squeeze one more baby in before I turned 40, and while we weren't actively TTC, we didn't do anything to prevent it from happening. Sure enough, I found myself pregnant...and then a few weeks later, I wasn't. Part of me felt that perhaps I shouldn't push my luck. I was of advanced maternal age and had two healthy sons already. But part of me felt my family was not quite complete, so we decided to try again. And within a few months, two lines showed up on the stick again. Midway through the pregnancy, some tests came back questionable, which lead to further testing, bloodwork, numerous ultrasounds, and a fetal MRI (because there's nothing more pleasant than squeezing into an MRI tube at 32 weeks). It was a stressful time, but ultimately, everything was fine, and my third son was born a month before I hit the big four-oh.

    You are young. You have many childbearing years ahead of you...whether you want to start trying again soon or prefer to get your body as fit as possible before your next pregnancy is entirely up to you. I will say I believe that exercising throughout my pregnancies did make for easier pregnancies and deliveries. And exercise (along with breastfeeding) made it easier for me to lose the baby weight after (although I know everyone's experience is different, and I have friends who could never shed the last of the weight until after weaning...I joked that I would nurse my boys until they left for college if it meant I could eat ice cream every night.)

    I was fairly active prior to my pregnancies. With my first (to term), I pretty much limited my activity to walking and a prenatal yoga class. After the first miscarriage, I think I was just too nervous to do anything more strenuous. With my later pregnancies, I kept up my usual gym routine (with some modifications, naturally) up until the very end. In my case it didn't matter how much I exercised or what I ate (I had all sorts of food aversions during my second pregnancy), I gained the exact same amount each time.

    Feel free to add me as a friend.
  • Leannep2201
    Leannep2201 Posts: 441 Member
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    I’m so sorry to hear of your journey :(

    I have PCOS and have recently been told of some changes in my uterus which need further investigation. Specialist appt next week.
    I conceived mid 2016 after hubby and I had been trying for nearly 2 years. We were over the moon, but the pregnancy ended in a m/c at a little over 6 weeks. Broke my heart, and hubbys. Have been trying ever since, but since the m/c my cycle has been more messed up than ever. Put on a fair amount of weight, and had a couple of injuries which made things difficult too. Recovered now and have been trying to lose the weight since the start of Jan. Going well so far.
    I’m 35 now and worried about running out of time to have the family we desperately want, especially with the added complication of my PCOS and uterine irregularities. Dr has referred me for fertility treatment, but I may be declined due to my weight- another reason I’m trying so hard to get it down!

    I have an 11yr old daughter from a previous marriage, and she is my world. We love her to bits, but also want a baby that is “ours”.

    Feel free to add me for support. It’s not an easy journey by any means.
  • cjv73
    cjv73 Posts: 240 Member
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    I had four miscarriages in total --

    #1 at 5 weeks, then became pregnant again within about 6 weeks

    #2 at 12 weeks, then became pregnant again within about 2 months

    Had babies #1, 2, and 3 over the next 4 years, then

    #3 at 8 weeks, waited a few months,

    #4 at 15 weeks (although ultrasound determined baby stopped growing at 7 weeks), then

    Had babies #4 and 5 over the next few years.

    So, in total I had 9 pregnancies (5 live births) in 10 years. You can imagine the ups and downs in poundage that entailed!! :)

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