Hi, I'm new here and not really sure yet how this all works.

Congratulations on getting started!
Here are a few things I've figured out that make this SO much easier.
Break things down into individual behaviors and habits. Instead of looking at this as an all at once, or all or nothing proposition, find ways to break things down into smaller and more sustainable habits. That makes it much easier to pinpoint where something is not working, and fix it, rather than staring at the whole jumbled mess of NOT WORKING. Plus, when you do backslide, you are less likely to drop everything, just one or two habits, that can then be fixed again. Otherwise, trying to everything at once, means that you are likely to leave out something important (like weighing food), and pay excessive attention to things that aren't. (Like fiber drinks and vinegar)
Don't demonize foods that don't actually make you feel bad. Obviously if you have food sensitivities avoid those things, but don't cut out all your favorite goodies because they are not "healthy". Think of your calories as a type of currency. You should purchase the nutrient rich stuff first, budget for regular treats, and don't waste any calories on stuff you hate, even if it is theoretically good for you.
Log EVERYTHING.
Don't JUST weigh (with a scale is best) everything you eat, also write why you are eating it (i.e, lunchtime, hungry, kind of bored, out with friends, watching tv) and how you are feeling right before, right after and an hour after (hungry, comfortable, normal, full, very full bloated, drowsy, OMG I am so damn sick of this crap I want to throw the whole plate out a window, etc).
This gives you a baseline pattern for your normal habits and routine. From there, it's just a matter of experimenting. Are you very full after dinner? Cut back on a few things. Does lunch leave you bloated and gassy after an hour, try less or no mayo, and see if there's something you don't mind dropping each meal (fries, or cheese, or maybe only 2 tacos instead of 3).Are you starving an hour after dinner?Maybe more fats during.
It's amazing how quickly these small and easily sustainable changes will add up to big calorie cuts. Only cut one or two things at a time, until they become habit instead if trying to do everything at once. That way they become individual habits instead of one big "diet".

What is "the diabetic way of eating" for you? The ADA recommends a starch with every meal, and my body cannot handle that. Some people swear by keto and my gut cannot handle that. I need more fiber and less fat.

For myself, I have chosen a middle ground. I have sworn off starches and fruits until my blood glucose comes down to a safer level. I am above keto levels of carbs with dairy and veggies. Once stabilized, I will experiment with adding back whole grains and fruits very slowly and see how it goes. Basically, following the South Beach idea.

I waivered on getting a glucose monitor. I read a number of studies that said that for those who are controlling their levels with diet and exercise and/or metformin, there are no statistical advantages to monitoring and it can result in higher levels of stress and depression. However, my glucose levels were very high at testing and my follow up is two months away. I wanted the numbers in case I feel I need to request increased metformin (I am on the lowest dose). Seeing my morning fasting glucose at ~200 inspired me to make more drastic changes to diet, which seem to be helping.

There's lots of help on here and encouragement. Logging everything you eat & drink......Yes that too!.......will make you realise what you put in your mouth!! I found a smaller plate helps cos portion size matters but you will find your own way. Help is on hand all over this site.....Good luck, if you want a pal take a look at my profile, diary etc. just click on my name highlighted in blue & add me as a friend if you like. ☺