Derailed-please add me for support!

It sounds like you have a pretty good idea of what throws you off, now you need to figure out a workaround for those issues.

Instead of trying to do it all at once, it might be easier to break things down into individual behaviors and habits. Instead of looking at this as an all at once, or all or nothing proposition, find ways to break things down into smaller and more sustainable habits. That makes it much easier to pinpoint where something is not working, and fix it, rather than staring at the whole jumbled mess of NOT WORKING. Plus, when you do backslide, you are less likely to drop everything, just one or two habits, that can then be fixed again. Otherwise, trying to everything at once, means that you are likely to leave out something important (like weighing food), and pay excessive attention to things that aren't. (Like fiber drinks and vinegar)
Don't demonize foods that don't actually make you feel bad. Obviously if you have food sensitivities avoid those things, but don't cut out all your favorite goodies because they are not "healthy". Think of your calories as a type of currency. You should purchase the nutrient rich stuff first, budget for regular treats, and don't waste any calories on stuff you hate, even if it is theoretically good for you.
Log EVERYTHING.
Don't JUST weigh (with a scale is best) everything you eat, also write why you are eating it (i.e, lunchtime, hungry, kind of bored, out with friends, watching tv) and how you are feeling right before, right after and an hour after (hungry, comfortable, normal, full, very full bloated, drowsy, OMG I am so damn sick of this crap I want to throw the whole plate out a window, etc).
This gives you a baseline pattern for your normal habits and routine. From there, it's just a matter of experimenting. Are you very full after dinner? Cut back on a few things. Does lunch leave you bloated and gassy after an hour, try less or no mayo, and see if there's something you don't mind dropping each meal (fries, or cheese, or maybe only 2 tacos instead of 3).Are you starving an hour after dinner?Maybe more fats during.
It's amazing how quickly these small and easily sustainable changes will add up to big calorie cuts. Only cut one or two things at a time, until they become habit instead if trying to do everything at once. That way they become individual habits instead of one big "diet".

Ugh! I feel your pain! I have spurts where I do really really well with exercising and eating moderately.. Then Ill have a few weeks where I am not just overeating I am CONSCIOUSLY overOVEReating and then it continues. It sucks. I am also getting back into things... I would love for us to support each other!

Add me if you want to. I’m up, down, sideways and backwards lol. All over the place. Didn’t know midlife crises were so difficult to handle lol