What do you say to yourself?

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Chantallanthier83
Chantallanthier83 Posts: 3 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi all! New here and struggling:( how do I stay focused and motivated after falling off the wagon so many times? I am constantly doubting myself and thinking that I am kidding myself for even trying.
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Replies

  • mca90guitar
    mca90guitar Posts: 290 Member
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    I tell my fat a** to get to the basement and workout. Usually I do what I tell myself to, sometimes I don't and make sure I'm at least tracking the food as that is the killer. Amazing how fast weight comes back when you don't log
  • jacesmom4930
    jacesmom4930 Posts: 25 Member
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    I can totally relate. I struggle with self doubt all the time. I think it comes from being a perfectionist.
    feel like I’ve started over a million times, getting more and more disappointed with myself each time.

    But this time, I’m not focusing so much on the goal as I am trying to enjoy the day to day process of getting there. I tell myself that this is my “new normal” and I don’t feel so much pressure to be perfect.

    I know there’ll be good days and bad days and that it’s part of the process. When I was slim and fit I had good and bad days then too. I just didn’t let my bad days be an excuse to go on a binge for 3 months. Lol

    Hang in there! Be kind to yourself and you’ll soon be your own hero! I’m cheering for you!
  • StephenB
    StephenB Posts: 7 Member
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    I tell myself that I lost a ton of weight before (220+ down to 177) so I can do it again. I've been "back on the wagon" since January 2nd and I've lost 17 pounds as of today. I've got a long ways to go to get back to 170(ish), but all I have to do is not stop. Logging as I go from the MFP app and an hour of moderate level cardio 7 days a week. Just like old times :smile:
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
    edited February 2018
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    All i can tell you is the when you push through weakness it makes you stronger. if you give into the weakness you just keep coming back to the same point of failure and you start believing you can't do it. But you can. I've had many moments of doubts and temptation but never gave in..and right after i push through - my resolve gets stronger and stronger. i've lost almost 30 pounds since the new year. i'm almost to goal and my healthy choices seem easy and automatic, It used to take work.
  • Vonny198334
    Vonny198334 Posts: 178 Member
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    It's a tough place to be, I'm sorry you're experiencing it :(

    I tell myself things very similar to the folk who have posted already. My biggest one is to tell myself that I can stop anytime I want...but that won't give me the results I want....so the choice is mine & mine alone. I'm over halfway to goal & had I given up when I first felt like it, I doubt I would've kept any weight off at all. In fact I'd wager I'd currently be heavier than where I began!

    Sometimes the scales don't shift for days & even weeks at a time & some days I feel as graceful & capable as a baby elephant! :D But progress photos & measurements prove that what I do works regardless. I'm 7 months in & 4 stone down as of yesterday - I still doubt myself & my following of the process from time to time, but results say otherwise. One meal at a time, one workout at a time, one day at a time. My aim is always to not think about it too deeply, just get on & do it.

    Best of luck & cheering you on :)
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited February 2018
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    I don't tell myself I'm struggling. I have challenges, as in a constant flow of tasks that need to be done, mental resistance that needs to be overcome.

    I don't aim to stay motivated - motivation is a fickle friend.

    There is no wagon, so nothing to fall off. It's just day in, day out, of mostly everyday things, some boring, some painful, some difficult, some easy, some fun.

    I gain confidence by practicing new skills and seeing the results over time. Patience is one of those skills that has to be learned and practiced.

    Weight management is simple and straightforward, a single player game, not like love or even getting a job. It's basically don't eat too much all the time. So I don't try this, I do it.
  • tirowow12385
    tirowow12385 Posts: 698 Member
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    You had your reason to use this app, don't lose sight of it.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,467 Member
    edited February 2018
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    Keep tracking no matter what. It’s a thing to do, the only way not to do it is quit. Forget? Go back and fill it in best you can? No idea how many points in that meal? Figure out how to make a good faith guess. Put a number on everything.

    Now that your food diary is the center of your program, forget the wagon. You are never off your program when tracking. Oh, you will eat too many calories here and there. Bad plans, loss of concentration, math mistakes, fatigue, lots of ways to make mistakes. But there is no such thing as a mistake free human undertaking.

    Agree with everything in kommodevaran’s post.
    Weight loss is a skill set. It has a learning curve. Give yourself time to learn.

    When I made missteps I told myself this- perfect is the enemy of the good. And kept going.

  • curiousgp
    curiousgp Posts: 122 Member
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    Every time I quit - I stagnate and then there is always an event that triggers me to start again. Whether it be discomfort in bending down to tie my shoes, struggling to stay awake after a carb heavy snack/meal or just feeling of inadequacy. Trust your gut - you KNOW what you need to do to feel good and that is the goal - to feel good. Every choice is a new choice. Whether you over ate on calories today or didn't get any exercise in. Tomorrow is a new day - new choices, new goals.
  • Chantallanthier83
    Chantallanthier83 Posts: 3 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your support.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    I think a big part of many people's problem is an all or nothing mentality and that if everything isn't 100% perfect then it's utter failure. To that end, people try to do complete 180*s and just flip a switch and think they'll be able to "just do it". Both are completely and utterly unrealistic. Nobody is on 100% of the time and trying to do a 180* overnight is completely ignoring that this is all a process over time.

    I don't tell myself anything...but I remember when my oldest was learning to walk (a process) he would fall a lot and he'd get frustrated and I'd ask him, "what do we do when we fall down?" and he'd respond, "get back up."

    I've been on this good livin' safari for over 5 years...there is no wagon (that's part of the all or nothing mentality)...there are good days and there are bad days and there are good weeks and bad weeks and good months and bad months...such is life.
  • remoore23
    remoore23 Posts: 63 Member
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    I try to remind myself that I have years and years ahead of me and I hope to lose weight and then maintain that loss over the rest of my life, so it doesn't have to come off immediately. There's no deadline. I got into a cycle where I would decide something like "I'm going to lose 5 lbs this month by eating 1200 calories per day and exercising every day!" and within two or three days I would be so hungry that I would eat a large, unhealthy meal and then feel like I had failed... so why not just eat a similar meal again the next day? Now I'm trying to lose one pound per week... I was sick last week and wasn't able to exercise, and then I visited my parents who always have lots of unhealthy snacks and it's so hard to control myself when I visit, so when I weighed myself at the beginning of this week I had actually gained half a pound.... But I'm just trying to continue on and lose a pound from that weight by next week. There's a long term urgency because I want to be as healthy as possible, but I haven't failed because I didn't lose a much as I wanted to this week.
  • gingilebanon2012
    gingilebanon2012 Posts: 15 Member
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    It’s so tempting to just go and do what I have always done and eat everything in sight. The scale is not moving, but I’m always reminding myself that I didn’t get here in one day, keep on exercising and logging everything and eventually something will change. Also, exercising every day has given me a positive way to look at things. Good luck
  • betty_veronica4
    betty_veronica4 Posts: 196 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I think a big part of many people's problem is an all or nothing mentality and that if everything isn't 100% perfect then it's utter failure. To that end, people try to do complete 180*s and just flip a switch and think they'll be able to "just do it". Both are completely and utterly unrealistic. Nobody is on 100% of the time and trying to do a 180* overnight is completely ignoring that this is all a process over time.

    I don't tell myself anything...but I remember when my oldest was learning to walk (a process) he would fall a lot and he'd get frustrated and I'd ask him, "what do we do when we fall down?" and he'd respond, "get back up."

    I've been on this good livin' safari for over 5 years...there is no wagon (that's part of the all or nothing mentality)...there are good days and there are bad days and there are good weeks and bad weeks and good months and bad months...such is life.

    So true! It is easy to have one bad day and think that it is a total failure of the effort. It's not. It's one bad day. But, when something is hard, just that can be the "incentive" to give up. It takes real strength to move beyond that.
  • JaiNicole7
    JaiNicole7 Posts: 88 Member
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    I just joined a few days ago. Being inconsistent and not logging has kept me from my goal in the past. Yesterday I told myself, it’s not just a few days or weeks of better choices but 100 days! (As a start.) Now let’s take them on one at a time!

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