Anyone else going through a divorce??

becky611
becky611 Posts: 77
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
So long story short my husband and I are seperated and going through a divorce with a 3 year old. Just looking to see if anyone else is in the same boat.
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Replies

  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    Yes my daughter is 2. It sucks
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    I never thought I would end up in the situation. Everything I thought I knew about our relationship was nothing but a giant lie. That is all he did was lie to me and boy did he do it so well.
  • RoosterB
    RoosterB Posts: 214 Member
    Yes me too, sadly.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    divorced last year. same thing, compulsive liar & lazy bum.
    so this is a new me with a new life & new attitude
  • jillcwhite
    jillcwhite Posts: 181 Member
    Been there - hang in and be strong for your son. It will be a long road to travel but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your fitness goals in the back of your mind. When I got first was going through my divorce I lost over 20 pounds of just not eating. Then a couple years after I was emotional eating because I was lonely and gained over 30 pounds. I wish you peace at the end of this journey.
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I never thought I would end up in the situation. Everything I thought I knew about our relationship was nothing but a giant lie. That is all he did was lie to me and boy did he do it so well.

    did we marry the same man? Thats what I've been thinking too lately.
  • Mom2rh
    Mom2rh Posts: 612 Member
    Maybe...we are separated. After 20 years.

    The stress does a number on my eating and exercise goals.
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    did we marry the same man? Thats what I've been thinking too lately.
    [/quote]

    LOL.. maybe we did. The lying is the worst part of it all. I thought that my marriage ending would be the toughest part but it is the fact that he lied to me this whole time. He was a coward who wasn't man enough to admit there was a problem. He ignored it and lied to my face every single day.
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I know how that is. He's still lying for no reason. I had to file for divorce bc he didn't have the balls to do it himself.
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    I know how that is. He's still lying for no reason. I had to file for divorce bc he didn't have the balls to do it himself.

    I am hurt by the situation but I realized yesterday that I am more mad and that I actually have hatred for him. I never thought I could hate him but yesterday opened my eyes to the fact that I do. I am most scared and concerned about being able to financially support my son and myself.
  • Kagard11
    Kagard11 Posts: 396 Member
    I am, my kids are 3 and 8. I actually have been separated for 2 years now, just can't afford to make it official! My was a gambler who stole my $$$ and my and my mothers jewelry. Sad. Lots of stress which is hard on the weight loss. I work a lot, and don't have much free time. I have summers off and have the kids all summer and still work my weekend job. I only have a couple of weeks left before I go back to work at school so my hectic life will start again! I just need to stay on the weight loss boat I'm on now!
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I know how that is. He's still lying for no reason. I had to file for divorce bc he didn't have the balls to do it himself.

    I am hurt by the situation but I realized yesterday that I am more mad and that I actually have hatred for him. I never thought I could hate him but yesterday opened my eyes to the fact that I do. I am most scared and concerned about being able to financially support my son and myself.

    You can do it, its going to be a hard road believe me but you can do it. I'm here if you need to talk :)
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    Thank you all so much. I am just trying to figure out and navigate this time in my life. I know time will make it better.
  • OnCmommy
    OnCmommy Posts: 40
    Yep, I am. My sons are 6 years & 18 months. We separated last July.
  • igmom
    igmom Posts: 90
    There is life after divorce. Take care of yourself, and don't feel the need to start another relationship right away. Be very picky about the next man so that you can ensure that you get the partner you deserve, and your son gets a good role model.
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    There is life after divorce. Take care of yourself, and don't feel the need to start another relationship right away. Be very picky about the next man so that you can ensure that you get the partner you deserve, and your son gets a good role model.

    You are so right. I have absolutely no desire to get into any relationship. My son is my biggest priority. I plan on taking this time to learn more about me and about who I am and the things that are important to me. I have realized alot about myself already.
  • igmom
    igmom Posts: 90
    BTW, my ex had a portrait studio set up at his sisters unoccupied house. He was recruiting models on-line to take there for nude sessions. All of this was going on during the day while I was at work. He was such a habitual liar that when he actually received his bachelor's degree, his mother insisted on seeing his diploma because he'd been claiming for years that he had degrees that the family knew he didn't. His daughters told me that he used to tell people that he had been a roadie for Jackson Browne. Not much of a role model.
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    I find it amazing that the person that is suppose to love you the most is the one who lies to your face everyday. Mine is apparently a master liar. He played me like a flippin fiddle all this time.
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    I have been trying to make myself eat, but I have absolutely no appetite. Im not hungry at all. i know this is not good at all, I just do not want anything.
  • GoodMorningGirl
    GoodMorningGirl Posts: 103 Member
    Hang in there, girl! I too am a single mom of two, ages 8 and 6. I've been separated 3 years, divorced for one and half. You have some intense feelings to work through, but trust me, it gets better over time. I wish I had known more divorced people who could tell me that. The anger and sadness are so normal. I highly recommend reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. She wrote a memoir about healing from her divorce (and breakup from a boyfriend after that) that I really found meaningful. After a few years of feeling angry at him and sorry for myself and cheated and all that, I am finally coming through this happier than I've been in MANY years, including most of my married ones. I am focused on growing as a person and helping guide my kids through their childhood.
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    Hang in there, girl! I too am a single mom of two, ages 8 and 6. I've been separated 3 years, divorced for one and half. You have some intense feelings to work through, but trust me, it gets better over time. I wish I had known more divorced people who could tell me that. The anger and sadness are so normal. I highly recommend reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. She wrote a memoir about healing from her divorce (and breakup from a boyfriend after that) that I really found meaningful. After a few years of feeling angry at him and sorry for myself and cheated and all that, I am finally coming through this happier than I've been in MANY years, including most of my married ones. I am focused on growing as a person and helping guide my kids through their childhood.

    I really appreciate all the advice. My biggest fear is that my son will be negatively affected by this and my ability to financially support him and myself. I really have found it quite interesting all the things that I have learned about myself. I know that time heals everything, but I am just not a patient person at all lol.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Everyone here has great advice - You WILL make it through okay, and you WILL be able to select a partner in the future that gives you everything you deserve in a relationship. Until that point, just take it one day at a time and try to focus on the great things you're about to do for yourself and your son, and not on the horrible things your ex did to you. It's not easy, and it is important to grieve the relationship for a while, but this WILL be an exciting time for you! You get a do-over! And you've learned a lot along the way.

    I've been divorced from my first husband four years now, and I'm engaged to a man that I never believed could exist.
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    Everyone here has great advice - You WILL make it through okay, and you WILL be able to select a partner in the future that gives you everything you deserve in a relationship. Until that point, just take it one day at a time and try to focus on the great things you're about to do for yourself and your son, and not on the horrible things your ex did to you. It's not easy, and it is important to grieve the relationship for a while, but this WILL be an exciting time for you! You get a do-over! And you've learned a lot along the way.

    I've been divorced from my first husband four years now, and I'm engaged to a man that I never believed could exist.

    Thank you so much for the support. I know that I am not the only person this has ever happened to and I am so grateful that there are so many people around to be supportive!!
  • quinnybear
    quinnybear Posts: 243
    I split from my ex almost exactly a year ago and the divorce has been final for 3 months. It was really bad in the beginning but then one day I realized how much he had been lying the past 8 years and something in my brain just clicked. I wasn't 100% over it and fully emotionally healed BUT I did feel happy about it and felt good about moving forward.
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    I split from my ex almost exactly a year ago and the divorce has been final for 3 months. It was really bad in the beginning but then one day I realized how much he had been lying the past 8 years and something in my brain just clicked. I wasn't 100% over it and fully emotionally healed BUT I did feel happy about it and felt good about moving forward.

    After finding out that he has been lying to me everyday for years, I think that I am more ANGRY than hurt. Im not sure if this is a good thing or not. I am looking forward to moving on and not feeling like an idiot and fool anymore.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    I knew mine was a douche and i still married him. Divorced for a month now. Sometimes I feel like I will drown in the sadness.
  • aegira
    aegira Posts: 201 Member
    There is life after divorce. Take care of yourself, and don't feel the need to start another relationship right away. Be very picky about the next man so that you can ensure that you get the partner you deserve, and your son gets a good role model.

    You are so right. I have absolutely no desire to get into any relationship. My son is my biggest priority. I plan on taking this time to learn more about me and about who I am and the things that are important to me. I have realized alot about myself already.

    It really is worth taking time out from the relationship treadmill. When it happened to me, my total focus was for the kids and I promised myself I would not even think about 'getting' involved until my youngest turned 18. I can honestly say I've had the best time learning about me and nurturing 2 kids into well adjusted adults. Now out of the blue I have a guy and we are both taking it slowly learning about each other. The journey is hard/tough/tear jerking and at times unbearable BUT the light at the end of the tunnel is bright/warm/exciting and awesome!!
    Good luck, you're a strong women who will not only survive but thrive :flowerforyou:
  • BuffTexan
    BuffTexan Posts: 270
    My marriage ended in mid-August 2009. I was served the papers, I was literally devasted. At the time the kids were 3 and 5 yrs old. I never thought it would happen to me and lo and behold, here I am. I'm paying a ton of child support, living in a 1 bedroom apt, drive an old truck, and getting by day-by-day. I am VERY happy I'm no longer married to my ex, there is a new freedom. At first I thought I would do ANYTHING to get her back but now I wouldn't go back to her even if she paid me.

    Life has been getting better for me. Year 1 was a little difficult to adjust. Year 2 is more "normal."

    The ONE thing that completely blew my mind was the 1st time I took the kids to their mommy's house to drop them off. It was the 1st week after I was ordered to leave. I ring the doorbell, she answers and the kids go in... they turn around and both of them say, "c'mon daddy, come in!" :sad: :sad:
  • becky611
    becky611 Posts: 77
    What is the most appropriate way to tell a child what is going on? He is so smart.
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    What is the most appropriate way to tell a child what is going on? He is so smart.

    Honestly I dont know. With Nicole I just told her daddy was at work or he was out when he didn't come home.
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