Maybe I really don't want to lose the weight

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laraaragon
laraaragon Posts: 90 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've told myself over and over that I was gonna do it this time. Ever since having my first baby 4 years ago. But I still haven't gotten anywhere. I lost 10 lbs about 2 years ago but gained it right back in about 5 months. I just feel like i'm always shooting myself in the foot . What finally kept you on track?

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  • tirowow12385
    tirowow12385 Posts: 698 Member
    edited March 2018
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    I was like you, I crash diet before and do strenuous exercise and then expected to lose ten pounds overnight and got upset when I didn't, it was a never ending cycle of misery.

    I always got discouraged when I didn't see any results and just gave up, i always felt like weight loss is something that happens to other people and never me.

    But that was when I didn't know how to lose weight, calorie in calorie out, once I had a general understanding of how the process works, i lost weight.

    You need to bring your will power and a never quit attitude and marry it to the process, like ive been telling some people now, you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and it will be worth it everytime you step on the scale and see the numbers go down.

  • tirowow12385
    tirowow12385 Posts: 698 Member
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    elisa123gal wrote: »
    You have to keep at it..then finally something will click and you will have determination and get it done.

    For, me..right after Christmas I was tired of not losing my weight. i' had been counting calories here for 8 years and getting nothing done. So, I spent two days planning my weightless strategy..and i've stuck with it since. Each time i pushed through weakness, i get stronger. I'm down27 pounds and in my skinny jeans (jeans i thought i'd never get into..couldn't even get them up) ... i have about 10 pounds to go. Now i'm focused on how i will maintain and increase my lifestyle activity so i never go back.

    Don't give up..keep trying...

    Success begets success, way to go.
  • Erythrite
    Erythrite Posts: 4 Member
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    I keep doing the same thing, even when I know consistency and patience is the key. I have trouble controlling my eating.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,491 Member
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    laraaragon wrote: »
    ...What finally kept you on track?

    Food diary. Well, I was doing WW. They call it a journal over there.

    Track. And don’t stop. If you have a bad day, or even a string of bad days, keep tracking. Sure, it’s a pain at first. But it gets easier.
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,268 Member
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    Mine was tracking everything I ate and all the exercise I did. Plus, I fell deeply in love with running and now I can't imagine not doing it. If you think you don't wan tot lose, you won't, period. If it's something you really want you can make it happen...just like having kids, getting married, etc...
  • laraaragon
    laraaragon Posts: 90 Member
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    amtyrell wrote: »
    I don't have very good willpower so what I have done is I've slowly built good habits. For example for the 1st month all I did was focus on no matter what I ate or drank I logged it before I ate or drank it. Now that is my default habit it takes no willpower. Then I focused on aimin to get my calories at the level that my fitness pal tells me they should be a. As this is my default now that does not require any willpower. So change your habits one small habit at a time and stick with it and it will not require as much daily willpower.

    I have an unhealthy relationship with sweets. If I could find some healthy habits that curbed this I know I would be much better off.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,491 Member
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    On track? I thought I was going to die soon.

    But let me change the subject. Are you sure you want to lose? Sounds like what you are currently doing is failing to take action and beating yourself up because of it. It’s not written anywhere that you have to lose weight. It might make your life better to drop it.

    Or maybe this- on a different message board I participate on we do this exercise. Line down the middle of the page. 2 lists. Right side- why you want to lose weight. Left side- why you don’t.

    It’s a funny exercise. We suggest it to folks and some refuse to admit that there may be don’ts. But spend some time on the don’t side and try to make a good list. Now rip the paper in half and just look at the don’ts. What deals are you willing to make with yourself to get the dont side to cooperate in weight loss? Really try to make peace with your own resistance. Not just think of ways to run the don’ts into the ground. Try it. It may get you unstuck.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,708 Member
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    It may not be that you don't want to lose the weight. It may be that you're NOT WILLING to change your eating behavior currently to lose weight.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    It probably isn't that you don't want to lose weight just find it hard to sustain whatever you did to get there for whatever reason. Or maybe the want to lose weight is not stronger than some other thing in your life.
    Start logging what you eat now and make small changes over time. Have a smaller deficit.
    Keep tracking. Weigh yourself regularly.

    Every day is a new day with new choices. What you did in the past is not as important as what you are doing today.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
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    Something to try - Stop focusing on losing the weight and start focusing on figuring out a way you can eat at the right calorie level for the rest of your life. Choose a slow rate of loss. First just focus on calories. Log accurately and consistently, and start learning from your diary - where do you waste calories? what types of food fill you up? where are you just not willing to give something up? Start tweaking and reworking. Take a glance at your macros - how off the mark are you there? Does one macro fill you up more than the others? Focus on adding more foods that help you, rather than focusing on giving stuff up. Move more, whenever and however you can. Focus on the habits and the lessons learned, rather than the number on the scale, at least in the beginning.

    Slow might be frustrating, but it probably will end up better than giving up over and over again. Hang in there :drinker:
  • lordhobbs
    lordhobbs Posts: 2 Member
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    I never knew how to lose weight besides exercise and all I could think of then was just walking, which I hardly did. Then I started counting calories, first starting with this website as a calorie journal but now after doing this for several months I hardly use it and just add the calories in my head. My memory is pretty good and I'm very familiar with all the nutritional information on the foods in my household. Anyways, I believe it won't happen overnight but over many, many nights and eventually it'll become part of your daily routine as it has for me.
  • Eleonora91
    Eleonora91 Posts: 688 Member
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    laraaragon wrote: »
    I have an unhealthy relationship with sweets. If I could find some healthy habits that curbed this I know I would be much better off.

    I used to have a problem with binging and an eating disorder and desserts are always my main problem/trigger food. I could have nothing all day in order to have sweets. Sometimes I crave desserts to the point that I want to give it all up. What brought me the resolution to change my life forever was actually despair. I knew I couldn't keep it up anymore. I knew if I didn't change something, I'd never be happy in the long term. It all starts with baby steps. Once you start losing the weight, you become more confident, and you don't want to screw up, so that keeps you going. To me, my progress was what kept me going. Even when I thought it was never enough I didn't want to throw away all the progress I'd made and I'd worked on so hard in the past. In time you realize gorging yourself with food everyday is just not worth it. I'm not talking the occasional dessert, of course you can have that. You just start developing a different relationship with food to the point that it doesn't control you anymore. It's like giving up an addiction - if you work hard one day, ask yourself if you want to sabotage all the hard work the next day. Don't set unreachable goals, try to deal with it one day at a time.
  • alteredsteve175
    alteredsteve175 Posts: 2,720 Member
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    For me it was logging my food. I was eating more calories than I realized. Now I also try to log the food before I eat, so that I know how many calories I have consumed already.

    Another help was realizing the difference between being truly hungry and eating out of habit or stress or boredom.

  • DomesticKat
    DomesticKat Posts: 565 Member
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    Somebody here posted something about the stages of weight loss and I thought it was helpful. I've personally been through them all. I've bargained, I've denied, I've been angry (and wrong) about how losing weight meant I had to starve myself and couldn't possibly eat less than I was already eating. Eventually I just had to reach a place where I was fed up and acknowledged that I was sabotaging and making excuses for myself to stay in the exact same place instead of getting where I really wanted to be. It was psychological for me and the evidence to contradict my own bias came in the form of a food scale mostly. Knowing exactly what I can eat, experimenting with food to feel fuller, learning how to eat as much as possible and still lose weight. All of those skills helped me be successful, but I also had to accept that I had to do this for a long time, not give up, and have will-power. I think the list suggested would be helpful in order to uncover some of your biases about weight loss, and you have the community at your fingertips in order to learn how to combat them.

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