How do you get on track and stay on track forever?

alwaysbloated
alwaysbloated Posts: 458 Member
in Getting Started
And stop taking 3 month breaks where you gain weight, when things don't go your way?

Recently, I stuck to my diet and exercise for a whole month, which is the longest I've stuck to it for two or three years, because I was offered a massive reward. I was originally motivated without it, but when it was taken away, I was upset, then lost my drive. I was told if I lost 20kg in 4 months, I would get to go to the Middle East, England and Japan, but after the first month, I was told that they could no longer afford the trip and it unlikely they could take me. Then I suffered with IBS issues and stuff, and I'm not completely sure why I stopped, but here we are.

I thought of making a list of all the possible road blocks, but the problem is, when I'm stuck I'm not neccessarily interested in problem shooting or finding a solution, I get very fixated on the very specific short term whim and I obsess. If I have a list of solutions then I might avoid following them, or avoid asking for help.

For example
Problem 1: I don't feel like doing my steps that day
Solutions:
1. Eat less
2. Do something else thats active
3. Go for a short walk instead
4. Eat leftover calories from another day

My mindset is
1. I don't want to eat less
2. Nothing active suits me
3. Can't be bothered, or its a small walk, what difference does it make? or I will trick myself into walking for longer and I DONT WANT TO DO THAT!!!
4. What leftover calories? hahaha. Or "I was saving those for pizza"

Problem 2
I want to eat 5000 calories worth of pizza in one day
Solutions:
1. Eat something else that is less calories but still a reward
2. Eat leftover calories from another day
3. Do some exercise
4. Only have 3 pieces of pizza
5. Order pizza with a thin crust

My feedback to that
1. NO! I really want pizza!!!
2. I don't think I'll have enough to cover it, and I'm not willing to walk for four hours for the next two days
3. But pizza day is treat day, and I shouldn't have to exercise on this day
4. Haha is that a joke? I have to eat the whole pizza to enjoy it
5. No! it has to be stuffed crust

Obviously I am the most ridiculous person in the world. Was anyone else like this? how did you get past this?

And how do you stay strong after three days or so? I feel like every few days or weeks I have to break out of my routine and just relax. I've never been good at sticking to things. The only consistent habits I have are checking the fridge and facebook several times a day (LMAO).
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  • KevEverydayWit
    KevEverydayWit Posts: 13 Member
    PS Your a very eloquent writer.
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  • sschauer513
    sschauer513 Posts: 313 Member
    alwaysbloated wrote: »
    JerSchmare wrote: »
    You probably need a bigger goal than just losing weight. Losing weight is a vain approach, and for many, it’s not enough. Find your reason for doing it.

    Well, I did want to get between 17-20% body fat, but while my bmi is over 40, it doesn't really matter. I've looked at some of the food plans on bodybuilder.com and they look pretty expensive, and I don't feel clever enough to crack iifym. I don't think I've got any specific fitness goals. There's things that I think "look cool" but it doesn't mean I want to do them.

    I agree with JerSchmare I always say find the "why" that is the hardest part. This shouldn't be looked at as a diet it is a lifestyle change until you come to terms with that it will be a struggle. And the why can be anything - do it for your health, do it to look better and piss the ex off, but it has to mean something to you. I was 400+ BMI 48 or so so it can be done I'm 275 BMI right around 30 and 100% stronger and fitter than ever. I will say the first 2 weeks suck, had headaches, stomach pains, hangry but when you see the why you are doing this it does get easier. Take it slow and steady I'm 1.5 years into this and still see where I'm at you can do this just find your why and then finding the how is much easier to get to your goal. But break it down I never ever thought losing 100 lbs was possible but losing 5 was, then losing 5 more etc. Don't go 100% vegetarian or healthy eating either it is too much of a shock to the body slowly introduce healthy food into your diet then after time it becomes habit.
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  • gwebbie
    gwebbie Posts: 4 Member
    First you have to 100% responsibility for where you are and where you want to be. I am not saying you haven't I am just saying that's the first step. We tend to blame others, or environment or resources etc but it is always about us.

    Next be clear on why, what is your reason for the goal? Is health, fitness, family, kids, how you look/feel. Be really clear as to the reason why.

    Then decide exactly what you want to achieve. A target of losing weight is too generic for example. The target should be very specific and should include as much detail as possible so that you can imagine being the new way once your target is hit. This could be weight, body fat, size or a style of clothes etc.

    Then you have to believe its possible.

    Take responsibility
    Be clear on why
    Be exact in what
    Believe its possible

    Clearly this is a summary but these are the steps to moving away from dieting and worrying about what you should and shouldn't do. If you apply the above the actions will just feel right and your mind will know what to do without it feeling forced.

    Hope this helps
  • sschauer513
    sschauer513 Posts: 313 Member
    alwaysbloated wrote: »
    When I was writing my original post, I realised how ridiculous I was being. Writing out my "problems" with the possible solutions showed that my problems weren't so big after all and were simple to fix. Like eating 5000 calories in a day isn't ideal, but you can make it work.

    I think my head needs more work than my body

    I kinda have a fear of being successful, because people will judge me on my personality or suddenly find me attractive and I don't know if I can deal with that kind of attention. Like it feels good to be somewhat anonymous and I wouldn't know what to do with a man (or a flock of them). What if the reason people don't like me is because I have a really toxic personality? I'm probably never going to get my dream body anyway, because I'm something like 130lbs overweight. I'm gonna need skin removal surgery, and I'm pooor....

    It is in your head but it can be done and you are the only one that will ever do it. Don't worry about skin surgery going slow shouldn't have problems I'm down 115 and no skin issues. Stop making excuses, stop being afraid, and step forward and you can succeed.
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  • gcibsthom
    gcibsthom Posts: 30,145 Member
    For me, I struggled with the same thing for years...I couldn't stay with it.I was not in the right mindset because I looked at it as a diet and exercise. This to me meant it was all temporary. Once I began to see it all as a lifestyle change rather than a diet and exercise, I was able to stick to it. It didn't happen overnight, but it was a matter of getting into the correct habits....finding a way to enjoy health food and portions...finding a way to enjoy going to the gym....learning to be more active...Now, I can't imagine living any other way. I miss the gym if I can't get there...the thought of eating like I did before is abnormal....Again, it was a struggle to get to this point, but well worth it...And at times it is not easy, but being overweight, and constantly failing at the diet/exercise was much harder....
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  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    alwaysbloated wrote: »
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    I also have those discussions with scumbag brain
    -LOL, someone should make a meme for that. Please?
    It's already done. Google it! It even has Scumbag Steve's hat :D
    I'm terrible at planning food. I'm scared of doing it wrong, wasting money or having to throw away ingrediants I didn't use.

    I know to have a balanced meal you have to eat from different food groups and eat a mix of protein, fat and possibly carbohydrates. I'm like, I want a potato with tuna, and thats it. But a really big potato. Would be healthier to have it with a side salad and a glass of milk, and a smaller potato. Or have a piece of fruit with it. At least there's protein at least. I didn't like having a meal plan originally, because they mixed things I liked eating (a wrap with meat and salad) with something I didn't want to eat (nuts). They did this to add balance and I was like noooooooooo.
    I think I see a pattern of something that smells like OCD, or at least perfectionism. (I cut out most of your post - because I have nothing sensible to contribute to the other points.) The thing with nutrition is that it's not dependent on perfection; eating well, balancing your meals, is something you do over time. Yes, the point with food groups is that you eat meals made up from different food groups, but you certainly don't have to cover all of them for every meal. (I often point to the "healthy plate", but it actually annoys me; normal dinners where I grew up, don't include fruit and milk.) If you want a big potato, you eat a big potato. "They" have no business giving you a meal plan. A meal plan is something you make yourself, for yourself. If you don't make it yourself, but try to follow someone else's, that's when you end up doing it wrong and throwing out ingredients you can't use.
    I eat at meals and only at meals..
    Good habit. Do you have trouble eating enough calories, or do you have six meals a day?
    Neither. I eat three meals per day, and my challenge is REALLY to not eat too much.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    Weight management is so much more about fixing mind, than about fixing body.
    alwaysbloated wrote: »
    Well the "why" worked when I thought I was getting a free vacation out of it.

    Mine would be:
    -I always thought I would be happy if I had close to perfect health
    -Life seems better if you are super fit
    -I don't want my 1 year old niece to ever remember me being fat, I want it to be a shock for her
    -Want to prove people wrong
    -Meet someone
    -Have a life outside of food
    -Get a Border Collie
    -Have more opportunities available to me, a higher payrate at work (because overweight people and women tend to earn less)
    Yeah, but:
    Losing weight if you're overweight will imrpove the health factors associated with weight. It doesn't guarantee perfect health. Good health does not guarantee happiness.
    There's quite a distance from healthy weight and good health, to super fit. To be super fit, you have to dedicate all your time and give up a lot of nice things. To be normal weight and healthy, all you need to do is to act sensibly most of the time.
    Kids like you for who you are, not for what you weigh.
    People who don't really care about you, don't really care how much you weigh. Surprisingly, the people who care about you, care about you no matter what you weigh.
    I believe a good guy is someone who loves you, not someone who wants a "trophy wife".
    Having a dog could be a great incentive to be more active. (Don't you have dogs already?)
    Even if statistics tells you something, and even if it's true, it isn't always clear what's cause and what's effect.
    alwaysbloated wrote: »
    I don't tend to keep bad food in the house (buy with the regular groceries). I do special runs for it, where I only buy junk. Maybe it should be a rule that I'm not allowed to eat it at home at all.
    Maybe if you stop calling certain foods "bad", they will have less power over you.
    Having certain times and places for certain things and activites, is a good idea. You're not a child, so stop thinking "you're not allowed". You give yourself the permission.
    I've been trying to lose weight since I was 9. I would love to finally win this battle! (and keep the beast down).
    The words we use, shape our reality. Trying to lose weight means that you don't really feel it's in your power. But it is. A battle is way more dramatic description of your situation than it has to be. Beast. Really? Can you find a word that doesn't make you feel worn out just thinking about it?
    The only changes that have stuck with me have been walking the dogs everyday, and using a low calorie sweetner in my tea. That's something I guess.
    It's something if it has a real impact. Many small changes can add up. But changing something that makes you change back something else to make up for it, can leave you short-changed. Which meaningful changes can you see yourself starting today, and also happily sticking to forever?
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    I'm in year 5 of 'staying on track' and it feels easy...normal...natural now. It wasn't always that way but habits stick around if we practice them long enough.
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