Despite lifting and gaining muscle, I am obsessed with the number on the scale

HilTri
HilTri Posts: 378 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I went to a sports physiologist, a recommendation from my dietician. I am a female, 5'6" and weigh 137. I eat 1500 cal a day based on what the dietician said and don't eat exercise calories. I learned yesterday that I should be eating about 1800 calories per day to properly fuel my body so I can workout more intensely instead of dragging. I learned at the appointment that I am 16.0% body fat. The physiologist recommends gaining 2% body fat? He says I live in a cut phase and my body needs a break from that. The appointment was very informative and enlightening.

MFP has always suggested that I eat back exercise calories but chose not to because I was so ingnoantly obsessed with number on the scale going up, I didn't eat them
I have been so wrapped around the number on the scale because I have gradually gained about 4 lbs over the last three months or so. How do I let that obsession go? My clothes are a bit more snug in my shoulders and back.
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Replies

  • h1udd
    h1udd Posts: 623 Member
    @HilTri ... love your post ... this is exactly where I am worried I will be in 3 months time. Following this with interest as I am just behind you
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,389 MFP Moderator
    sijomial wrote: »
    If you are goal oriented and also like numbers then you can't really switch those traits off but maybe if you change your goals to health/fitness/strength/performance that might displace your old goals which don't seem to be helping you?

    You seem to like numbers, strength is dead easy to put into numbers, fitness a bit harder, performance is also easy to measure improvements. (I like Strava for that aspect as I'm very self-competitive.)

    Body measurement tracking can also be a great validation that weight gain can indeed be good.

    This is what I have done. While I have a body fat % goal, all my other goals are strength and performance based.


    Also, realize that weight is just a number. One that doesn't mean much considering body composition is more important. Below is a good demonstration of that. And also remember, no one knows your weight.. only you do.

    https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/female-powerlifters-meet-staci-ardison/
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    First of all, kudos to you for such an up front, matter of fact, make no excuses post.

    I guess my first question is what is your bigger picture goal?
    My second question is why are you so focused on the number on the scale? Are you trying to lose? Fearful of gaining?

    It seems like there is a psychological component here that we need to get to the heart of. Anything short of that is just covering up whatever the real obstacle is for you.
  • HilTri
    HilTri Posts: 378 Member
    You called it...fearful of gaining. Perhaps a touch of dysmorphia? Just got back from the gym, instead of looking at the negative, I appreciated my strength! My goal is to be fit and see just what my body can do with eating with in range, cardio and as much lifting as much weight as I can. I do see myself as heavier than I am, I think I have for most of my adult life.
  • Saaski
    Saaski Posts: 105 Member
    edited March 2018
    I'm having the same problem. It seems like the 'magic number' people aim for for my height is 135 and I used to be around there give or take, but I gained around 10 lbs (again, give our take) and it really bothered me. I'm trying to get back down again but keeping up with cutting while also trying to exercise is exhausting and, if I'm honest, probably unhealthy.

    I'm trying to be more conscious of just how I look like the mirror and my measurements. I know that's more important than the number on the scale. It's harder, because the scale is EASY. But I'm strong and trying to get stronger. That's gotta count for something.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    HilTri wrote: »
    You called it...fearful of gaining. Perhaps a touch of dysmorphia? Just got back from the gym, instead of looking at the negative, I appreciated my strength! My goal is to be fit and see just what my body can do with eating with in range, cardio and as much lifting as much weight as I can. I do see myself as heavier than I am, I think I have for most of my adult life.

    Do you think you could put the scale away for a month or so, or would that cause too much added stress/worry?

    But let me ask you this, just for a bit of context and perspective - what's wrong with gaining? During your appointment, they said you were at 16% BF, right? If you're anywhere even remotely close to 16%, then you're exceptionally lean (regardless of what you may see), and gaining wouldn't be inherently bad at that point (a few lbs, not talking about 20+lbs).

    Lastly, I believe you've posted in the past about struggling to lose the last few pounds (if I have you confused with someone else, I apologize). If that's the case, then I'd be you know how to eat and how to exercise in order to maintain your weight. If so, then you've got the recipe for your goal:
    My goal is to be fit and see just what my body can do with eating with in range, cardio and as much lifting as much weight as I can.
  • HilTri
    HilTri Posts: 378 Member
    Thanks so much! I am glad so many out there have been or are where I was. psuLemon, that article was amazing! I am not going to be eating 3-4K calories but I will increase. I want to be strong and able to tackle whatever comes my way physically. The scale is going in the guest bathroom and out of mine! Thank you so much for your posts! I am so glad that my fatigue and hunger pangs were valid. My body was screaming at me! Thanks for helping me see that
  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
    It's hard to trust that 140lbs isn't the same as 250lbs, because honestly it feels that way sometimes. Definitely eat enough to fuel your training. It helps me to think about exercise as "training" rather than just working out and tying what I do to specific training goals, rather than weight-related goals. I keep an eye on my weight and monitor calories and sometimes you have to just trust that doing that is good enough. If you're not going off the rails with your diet, you will be A-OK, even if fluctuations happen.
  • sgt1372
    sgt1372 Posts: 3,975 Member
    OP: Your post is confusing. Exactly what are your goals? To lose weight and BF or to gain weight and LBM?

    You said that you were on a 1500 cal diet and did not eat exercise cals back but still gained 4# in 3 months. That doesn't make sense. You had to be eating at a surplus (a small one but still a, surplus) to do that.

    If you up your cals to 1800/day, you will gain about 1/2 per week. is that what you want to do? If not, reassess.

    FWIW, I'm very number focused but I have not found that to be a problem. However, my goals have been very clear - to lose weight and BF - which I have suceeded in doing.

    The way I have found that works best to maintain my weight and energy on my restrictive net 1650 cal/day diet is to eat 2200 cals and burn 550 cals rowing each day. This is the same as saying that I eat all of my exercise cals back.

    This aporoach allows me to properly fuel my body nutritionally and to avoid drops/spikes in energy and to prevent hunger but still maintain my weight.

    Not sure if it would work for you but it is something to consider.

    Goof luck!

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    I would take the 16% with a grain of salt - I'm guessing you were weighed with a scale and those are terribly inaccurate. You would have to be pretty muscular and very lean to have 16% body fat with your weight and height.

    Honestly I'm confused too - I can't imagine why in the world your dietitian would have you on 1500 calories if they think that you have 16% body fat - because unless you're completely sedentary, that's not even enough calories to maintain, and it's just not healthy to eat so little.
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
    edited March 2018
    I used to be overweight, lost a lot of weight...and was pretty "obsessive" about my scale weight for years while maintaining an arbitrary number.

    I started powerlifting, and eventually focused that energy into concentrating on my lifts. It took awhile to break my old habits (weighing myself frequently).

    I'm very goal-oriented and love numbers. Heavy lifting has been great for me. I'm about 20lbs heavier than my lowest weight, but only a size and a half larger. I'm MUCH leaner now and MUCH stronger.

    None of my shirts fit properly anymore b/c of swole; which is totally fine, b/c developed shoulders are cool.

    ETA: I'm 38, 5'3, 140...maintain at about 2100-2200 calories.
  • HilTri
    HilTri Posts: 378 Member
    Wow! I can so relate!
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
    I get you. I weigh more now than I did at the end of my weight loss. When you train like us, bigger or heavier doesn't mean we look worse. It's hard for me to get over that.
  • RecognitionT
    RecognitionT Posts: 120 Member
    Simple solution.

    Don't be.

    Apathy has proven to be one of my greatest assets recently. I strongly recommend it.
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
    OP - at this point, my advice may be moot, but I'm going to add it anyway.

    I'm glad you're going to be eating more, as I have disagreed with your positions in your previous posts. However, I would just like to point out that you really need to log your food accurately. If I am recalling correctly, you previously stated that you had not been logging your coffee and once you started logging realized it added up to about 300 calories. Now that you have accepted you should be eating more, you may want to focus on accurate logging. If you gained weight, you were eating above maintenance. You don't need to be fearful of eating more; you need to fuel your body. But you also need to log accurately. That includes logging everything you consume, choosing accurate database entries, and logging the amount you eat as accurately as you can, which for most of us means weighing our food.

    Good luck. I'm glad the physiologist got through to you.

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