Motivating Your Spouse?

I started MFP three weeks ago. My wife saw the progress I was making, how easy it is, and how much fun it was (to me) and she joined last week. My sister in law joined yesterday. The best thing you can do to motivate a loved one is lead by example.

I've been married for 17 years and have been trying for that long to change my husbands eating habits. Nothing has worked. He had a scare and ended in the hospital thinking he was having a heart attack. Thank God it wasn't but they told him that if he didn't change his eating habits and stop smoking he wouldn't live to be 50... he is 44. That didn't even change him... I get so sad to think he will go before me..... way before me and I am almost 50

Jogging may not be his thing. Ask him what he wants to do to get in shape. Come prepared with a bunch of different options. Suggest something like Crossfit, Bootcamp, P90X, Martial Arts, Insanity, etc. Also talk to him about why you are doing it and why you would want him to. Do you have kids? If so does he want to see them grow up and get married. Does he want to be around for his grandkids. Etc.

Get him in touch with other guys who are in the same boat. You know him better then anyone, what are his hot buttons?

Personally, I tried for many years to get my husband on the right track. But it didnt work. No amount of my begging for healthier foods, crying about exercise.... nothing worked!

I bought him a Total Body Gym and he loved it! Loved it enough to use it as a bench when he put his shoes on in the morning. he did use the elliptical and lost 10lbs, but he couldn't give up all of his favorites which were nothing more than healthy foods smothered in greasy fat.

It wasn't until recently, a few months back in June that he actually started doing something different. I became committed to making better choices in May. He didn't know. I exercised while he was at work. Because of his competitive spirit, he saw me exercising one day and asked me what I was doing. After that, he has been on track and has gone down from 240 to 200!

Maybe for your spouse you could get him to walk around the mall with you, do some window shopping. Prepare healthier meals for him. My husband lost most of his weight without doing any exercise and only lowering his calorie intake and making better food choices.

Just hang in there and you will see.... he will come around

He has got to want it ... some people just dont want it as bad as we do .... im on the other end of the boat though cause my husband is the one being a chubby chaser so to speak but im the one busting my butt working out eating right ... he sticks with it a few days then he back to his same old self drinking mt dew and eating his candy ... he doesnt want this is bad as me ... even tho he says he does ... :happy:

As one of those husbands who got motivated, I wish there was an easy answer. It sounds like he's supportive of what you're doing...that is frankly a good start. In the end, a person has to reach their own point of feeling the need to change. I watched my wife have great success for a couple of months and eventually reached the point of deciding I want off the BP meds. It was working for her so I figured I'd give it a go. Again, it was my motivation; she did not pressure me but did make it clear that it would be easier for her if we ate similarly. (This tapped into my affection for her...I wanted her to be successful and if I could help I was willing to do that.)

This is probably the best starting point. Focus on one change...I think diet is the best...and make it clear that it would help you to be more successful if the two of you ate similarly. Definitely don't force the issue and keep it friendly...and focused on you. Many people -- especially self-conscious husbands -- feel "attacked" if it is suggested that they need to eat better or exercise more since they already know this. It can be easier to tap into their affection by gently encouraging them to help you in the hopes that they'll have their own a-ha moment.

I wish there was a simpler or straight-forward answer, but the truth is the same for spouses as for individuals: they won't join in until THEY are ready. Good luck!

I have been with MFP for several years but I just recently had to take a health and wellness college course required for my degree. Whille taking the class, offsite workouts were required for a grade so I took advantage of that to get my husband to "help" me. I played into his ego and told him I needed him to count my reps, spot me, and time me for variousl exercises. The first couple of times at the gym you could tell he felt out of place but he has jumped on my bandwagon and I love it! Maybe it was dishonest but I got him to work out with me. As far as diet goes, he eats whatever I cook and put in front of him so that part is easy. I do a lot of substituting healthier ingredients and sneaking in vegetables for him and our children. Just know that none of this will work unless there he has an underlying desire to be healthier. Good luck to you!

My husband was not at all interested in being healthier when I started either. I am the one who grocery shops so I just started buying healthier foods - like veggie chips instead of regular ones, frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, more fish and chicken, things like that. But some things, I just let up to him - like his beer. In time, he started choosing healthier foods on his own and reduced his beer intake. He won't do any type of workout with me, but if I say that I'm going for a walk around the neighborhood, he always comes along. I don't make it about the exercise but more about us just spending time together. It's worked and now he's lost way more than I have!!

I'm in the same boat ....I've been working really hard lately at working out and even though I've had great success on my own, I feel like I would do even better if I had someone to push me when I feel like sitting down. Don't get me wrong, he is very supportive of me working out... letting me take over the living room for my hour+ workouts each night and making dinner on the extra long nights, but I just wish he would join me. He will go out and run or ride bikes with me, but we're in AZ, and its just too hot for that right now lol!

Ashlee

One easy way to start is doing something fun. Try joing a rec sports league like volleyball or anything he enjoys. The first step is always getting him out of the house and doing some sort of activitiy. From there, he will start feeling better about doing physical activity and it gives you good quality time with him not in front of the TV.

wow! I just typed up this long response then when i hit reply the page failed and I lost it! LOL.
Anyway, It basically said. Im in the same boat. I just invite him to go to the gym with me when hes home and i cook healthy meals at home. Dont ride him about it. Just lead by example!