WARRIOR DASH 2011 Whistler, BC

This is a letter I wrote to my Crossfit Coaches after surviving the most difficult fitness challenge I have ever faced. I wanted to share it with you. (With a little encouragement from Freckle Face)

~My background~
I was put on my first diet when I was 12 years old. Once I started to move towards puberty someone told me my fat cells would start to multiply at double the rate and I should start dieting or I would get fat. I was a very skinny child so I started to panic. Of course, with no food education and living in a lower income home, the foods we were given were almost always canned, boxed or processed. I thought you ate bread/pasta with every main meal and that cereal and carbohydrates were necessary normals for breakfast and snacks. I had very few fresh fruits and vegetables, other than apples and oranges which were almost always not fresh and I hated them. I was set up to fail. I remember the day that the scale went over 180lbs. This was significant, because my step dad said he weighed that. As a young teenage girl aspiring to be a pretty cheerleader, the last thing you want to see is that you are now taller and fatter than your dad. I was 16. I have been over 200lbs since I was in high school. I never remembering being happy with my body, although I was "fit" for a time at 18 because I was playing basketball and working out regularly. As soon as people started to comment on my progress, my emotional issues caused me to start binging again to get away from the pressure. I have had a long ten + year process to overcoming these obstacles. I still struggle with binging daily.

~The Challenge~
When I was a young teenager and was forced to go to start of school retreats and such I hated the team building activities we were forced to participate in. I will never forget the time I faked being afraid of heights so they wouldn’t make me do the “trust” fall onto all the other kids’ arms. I didn’t want them to know how heavy I was. I wouldn’t participate in ropes climbs or jungle gyms either. I let my weight stop me from everything. I convinced so many people that I was afraid of heights I began to believe it. On Race Day for Warrior Dash 2011 in BC, I not only conquered my “fear of heights” I did a Wooden Barricade (Climb over with Rope), Walked the Plank (up over ten feet onto a balance beam and over), climbed a Cargo Net Wall and even did some nasty Under- Over’s (Super high like 4.5 feet with Barbed Wire). I completed EVERY obstacle. The first two kilometers of the race were as steep as a 4.0 hike, about a 45 degree angle straight up. The organizers said that this was the hardes Warrior Dash location they have ever had! (Of Course, the one I would pick). Most of the fittest runners were slowed down by it. I just kept going, one foot in front of the other and didn’t stop.

~The Support~
My buddy (a fellow Crossfitter from previous days) who trained with me would run up with the rest for a time and then come back down and walk with me. He never left me. Halfway up the two kilometers I was dying of thirst and here he comes running back down holding water for us. Everyone left behind the pack like me just exclaimed, “I want one of those!” Crossfit not only prepared me for this challenge by giving me a place to wrestle my demons on a weekly basis, but gave me the courage to trust my workout buddy, share my insecurities and accept help when I needed it. According to my buddy (who never let me out of his sight): “you made those ropes look easy!” ;So... maybe when I started CF, I couldn’t do a proper push up... but I think I am ready to try now.

~The Future~
I am getting stronger every day and I have to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for giving me the place to try out my baby courage and see it grow. I not only survived the Warrior Dash... I healed inside. I am no longer ashamed to share my weight, my progress or my failings. The first time I heard Coach Abi say, “You can lift heavy ****, girl!” it made me feel like maybe I could be good at something. My fitness goal is to no longer be obese and I am 60.3 pounds away from that goal. But I already have two more marathons I am signed up for and intend to keep these types of goals in front of me to challenge and keep me focused. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to live my life over, at least in this respect. I am unzipping the fat suit. It no longer hides who is really inside.

~RG