Obese since childhood

All I can add is it is a struggle most likely a lifelong struggle is it worth yes for a ton of reasons as I'm sure you know them. My suggestion is seek out a registered dietitian and talk to your doctor about it surprisingly enough they know a lot. There could be medical issues holding you back PCOS, thyroid etc but I found for me going through a medical weight loss center was best at my hospital for the counselling, dietician and interaction with others going through same thing. You can succeed at this will it be easy probably not, does it get easy yes it does, but it starts with you deciding your health is a top priority in your life. We are not perfect either some days you'll be perfect others will not doesn't matter in the long run just continue the lifestyle change.

In People magazine there’s a story about. Chrissy Metz. She talks about how when she was young her stepfather would make her get in the scale and then berate her. It might also be in her memoir. Anyway, being pushed onto the scale at such a young age when you are embarrassed by your weight can be hugely traumatic. You might find some comfort in reading her story.

I'm just a stranger on the internet but as someone who weighed exactly the same as you do at age 21, my advice to you is to commit fully to improving things for yourself. You don't have to get in a hurry, either. Tell yourself "if I keep it up, in a year from now I'll be lighter and I'll feel proud of myself for improvements made". That doesn't have to mean you lose 100 lb, there's no rush because you have a long life ahead and plenty of time. But think how great it would be at this time next year to be even 20, 30, or 40 lb down? Totally worth it. Just log your food honestly and EVERY DAY if at all possible - and measure/weigh yourself periodically (whatever works for you).

As for me...I was a big kid, too. It started with just being taller/bigger than everyone when I was 10 I was 5'4" and about 130 lb, so I looked like a pretty average adult woman in size and no one was too concerned. They commented, but mainly just that I was so tall and big for my age...and my dad had played football and was 6'4 1/2" so it seemed "normal". By age 12-13, I was my current adult size of 5'8" and 170 lb. I didn't stop gaining weight though when I stopped growing - and by the time I graduated high school I was around 240 lb. I know what it's like to be so much bigger than most of your female relatives, friends & classmates that the topic just doesn't even come up...shopping in only plus-size stores...all of that was my normal for most of my life.

My heaviest was 307 lb, and I didn't get under 200 lb again until I was 36 and that was because of MFP and logging my food honestly and with dedication. I worked hard in years before that to walk miles a day and "eat less" but until I got into the actual numbers of how many calories I consumed, I didn't see weight coming off regularly. It took 6 years to lose my first 40 lb, and then I lost the next 90 lb in just over a year with MFP....I rarely lost more than a pound in a week, either...no drastic diets and no drastic sudden loss but it's amazing how much 0.5 and 1 lb will add up as the weeks and months roll on by... I have been thrilled with this, and now maintaining at my goal range for 4 years. I'm 41 and wish I'd discovered this when I was 21.

I understand we all have our issues, and I know I've eaten out of boredom and to comfort and soothe myself with relation to my anxiety disorder and other things like that. I feel that sometimes all of the media stories about weight & food addiction can be overstated and make some of us feel like we're helpless to change. I definitely don't think that is true. I do think a lot of the previous posts have given you awesome advice though with regard to pinpointing exactly what you may be doing "wrong" with your current eating habits, and to examine what may cause you to overeat in some situations. Excellent advice!

When you get serious about logging your food, you learn many things and develop habits that work for you. Just one small example, but I used to think instead of having a breakfast like I have now (egg, slice of toast with a little butter or jam, and coffee) I should eat a different breakfast (cereal & orange juice, which I poured freely without measuring it or looking at calories contained) and if I log those 2 breakfasts, the current one is roughly HALF of the cereal breakfast...I never realized that until I started logging my food on MFP. I could have had the breakfast I preferred, that entire time, and instead I was consuming way more calories! My best friend and i used to get these skillet brownie sundaes at a chain restaurant that turn out to be 1100 calories each...now we get an ice cream cone for 300 calories instead...food can still be enjoyable, it's not all salads and sadness. This is a great tool.