Hi, I'm going to start soon but I usually fail, any advice in my situation?

Gothmogz
Gothmogz Posts: 5 Member
edited November 25 in Introduce Yourself
I usually keep it up for a month or so and then something happens or I get depressed and stop it, I'm almost 40 and I'm more than 350 lb, I have so many health issues that I feel I will be gone soon. My problem is trying to keep a good attitude because usually something happens and I just dont care anymore, last year I lost 20 pounds and then got diagnosed with a very rare eye disease that I still dunno if ill go blind in the future, I never leave home and I dont live in the US but in a collapsing country which is extremely stressful, I'm afraid of not being able to go thru as I've been trying for years and its always the same, this is my first time using a forum to ask for any kind of advice, I usually cut carbs and will do it again next week. but this time trying to eat less and do some exercise as I do nothing, I feel like I have not a body anymore, everything is such a mess.

Replies

  • Seffell
    Seffell Posts: 2,244 Member
    edited March 2018
    After a month, when you get depressed and stop it, get back to it after several days. You don't need to "start over" or "restart" etc. You don't need to be consistent every single day. You get bored, you take a couple of days off logging, you get back to it.
    Make a small deficit, don't deprive yourself, be patient.
    At your weight you can eat a lot and still lose 1-1.5lbs a week. Just get a kitchen scale and start logging ALL your food here.

    You don't need to cut carbs.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    It sounds like you are in a tough situation and a lot of things may be beyond your control, but this is one area of life that you may be able to master. Stick around here & follow the advice of others who have been through major losses and if you give it your sincere commitment and log all of your food and stay within calorie deficit, you are going to lose weight.

    I agree with gebeziseva, you don't need to cut carbs and you will still be able to eat quite a bit. Exercise is a great idea for overall health & improving your mood and so on, but it's not absolutely necessary either.

    I truly hope you will find success here. Try to be patient and don't see it as "starting/stopping" or "pass/fail". Instead, decide that this is what you do now, you track your intake for purposes of weight loss...whether it takes 10 months or 10 years.

    I have not been in your exact situation but I have gone from 307 to 170 lb and kept it off for 4 years and counting. During the earlier stages of my weight loss, I went through a lot of changes & trials, losing my home in a tornado, a divorce after 9 years of marriage, as well as quite a few deaths in my family. I'm not saying my problems were the same or as bad as yours might be, but I will say that for me having control over my weight and finding success with my health & weight loss goals was a huge boost and comfort.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
    Gothmogz wrote: »
    I usually keep it up for a month or so and then something happens or I get depressed and stop it, I'm almost 40 and I'm more than 350 lb, I have so many health issues that I feel I will be gone soon. My problem is trying to keep a good attitude because usually something happens and I just dont care anymore, last year I lost 20 pounds and then got diagnosed with a very rare eye disease that I still dunno if ill go blind in the future, I never leave home and I dont live in the US but in a collapsing country which is extremely stressful, I'm afraid of not being able to go thru as I've been trying for years and its always the same, this is my first time using a forum to ask for any kind of advice, I usually cut carbs and will do it again next week. but this time trying to eat less and do some exercise as I do nothing, I feel like I have not a body anymore, everything is such a mess.

    Welcome :)

    Make the process as easy as is humanly possible. Set up your MFP profile. As was mentioned, at your weight, you *can* aim for a 2 lb/week loss but *you don't have to*. Maybe ease into it. Do not cut out food groups (carbs) or try to completely overhaul your diet overnight. This leads to diet fatigue *real* quick. Just eat within your calorie allowance, focusing on the foods that help you feel full & satisfied. For many people, this will involve a fair amount of protein & fiber. By making the process easier, you make it harder to get derailed when stress or emotions get the better of you.

    I struggle with depression and hit those periods like you describe when you don't care enough to make good choices. My motto has been, when I'm up to it, I really apply myself, and when I'm not, I try to minimize the damage. I'm a long way from my goal, but I weigh considerably less than I did 7 years ago (when I was about 40), and I'll take it. You can significantly impact your health issues with a reasonable amount of weight loss, that in turn may allow you to become more active and positively impact your mental health, which may in turn lead to greater weight loss. But all you need to think about is today... right now. If you are able to receive some counseling for the depression, that would be wise as well. It can be done and YOU can do it :)
  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
    If you log and eat only what is in your calorie limit for the day, you can set your account to lose 1 lb a week and not change what you eat at all, just how much.

    Everyone gets discouraged, and you have reasons why you might do so. Weight loss isn't about doing every day perfectly, but about stringing together enough "good enough" days. There is a lot in life we as humans cannot control, and it sounds like you are experiencing more than your share of that. But there is one thing we really, really can control, one day, one moment at a time: what we put in our mouths. If you have concerns about your weight and health, and feel like that is part of the depression that engulfs you, isn't logging accurately here worth a prolonged try?

    All the best of luck to you, and I hope you are able to regain health so that your body will feel more taken care of and more like a part of you.
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1235566/so-youre-new-here
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I am in my fifties and I can certainly relate to the feeling that it might be too late. I want you to keep track of every success, no matter how small. I want your successes to be large in your memory and the temporary lapses to be very small. I suggest small weekly goals that are unrelated to the scale. Let them be behavioral goals and don't expect to be 100% all the time. A sample goal may be, "I will log six of seven breakfasts in to MFP this week." At the end of the week, evaluate. Did you make the goal? No? What might be the obstacles to success? Brainstorm new solutions, modify the goal, try something different the following week.

    I base this pattern on a Stanford method that was very helpful to me. You can order the materials yourself.

    https://www.selfmanagementresource.com/resources/program-materials/

  • Gothmogz
    Gothmogz Posts: 5 Member
    Just wanted to do a quick post to say I'm reading all the answer and to thank you so much for them, I've lost so much to being this overweight, I feel that I lost 10 years of my life and sometimes I cannot even avoid crying as I cannot believe this situation, I got into this when my eye symptoms started and it was last year that I got some kind of possible diagnosis, I'm still scared everyday of going blind and live with a lot of stress because my country as well, I cannot get picky with what I eat as a lot of stuff is hard to find here but I reckon that this is all about having the right approach and the positive mindset, a lof that I've read so far is already helping me in that sense. Last year when I was sucesfull I indeed logged everything, as soon as I stopped, I got derailed.
  • HappyKat5
    HappyKat5 Posts: 369 Member
    edited March 2018
    I don’t really believe in dieting. I simple think it is a lifestyle change. Instead of cutting different foods, find the foods that you like and work it into your calories count. For example, if you cut out carbs, but know you like carbs, you are setting yourself to fail. Many people who are successful with weight are realistic about their intake. If you want a glass of wine, log it and take accountability for it. Also, sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader. I think the first step even though you may not be in a good mindset right now, was to make an account and try. Hang in there!
  • greenben601
    greenben601 Posts: 1 Member
    Just keep moving!
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I started to see improvement in my health and mobility with the first ten pounds gone. The next thirty I started to see a real difference, then I started walking every day. A few months of walking, and I had a breakthrough moment where I was able to keep myself from falling. All of a sudden, and this is after six months of effort, I started to believe for the first time that I could have a different sort of life.

    Every step you take to get your health back is a step to confidence and hope.
  • klikesred
    klikesred Posts: 1 Member
    The thing is most of us have started and stopped and yo-yoed too. Most of us, including me, can completely understand and empathize with you. Success is going to take a number of things.

    First of all you have to recognize and believe that you are worth the effort. You deserve to lead a healthier, happier life. You are worthy. Because you are.

    Second, understand that there is no quick fix. It’s going to take time and effort. But remember, you’re worth it, right? Right. So then.
    It’s ok to have a long term goal, but you really to need to have a series of much, much smaller, short term, easily manageable goals. The first 5 pounds. Then 10. A shirt that’s a little too tight right now, but it fits great in a couple of weeks and then is too big in a month or two. Trust me that feels awesome!

    Third..... and this is a HUGE one. You’re going to have bad days. You’re going to have bad weeks. It happens. That doesn’t mean you give up on yourself. It doesn’t mean starting over. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you’ve failed and all that would imply. We’ve already talked about how you deserve to be happy and healthy. So you pick up right where you left off, and you learn from it.

    One more. This is where the learning comes in. Learn your triggers. We all have them.
    Food ... Sometimes it’s a very specific food or type of food. Once you figure it out, avoid it. After a while you may get to the point where you can enjoy it occasionally, but give it time.
    Emotional and environmental triggers. This one is tougher. Some you can avoid. Others you have to learn to deal with in a healthier way. Stress, certain people, grief, anxiety........ You get the idea. Find something positive or constructive that you can do to cope. Breathing exercises, meditation, yoga, reading, taking a walk, exercising, doing something creative, playing with a pet ..... The list is endless. You just have to make it yours.

    You CAN do this.
  • mkyoungdds
    mkyoungdds Posts: 33 Member
    try2again wrote: »
    My motto has been, when I'm up to it, I really apply myself, and when I'm not, I try to minimize the damage.

    I absolutely LOVE this perspective and will do my best to adopt it. I struggle with depression and anxiety and do an excellent job of beating myself up if I slip. Which, as you would expect, just makes the depression and anxiety worse. Your motto is a lot more forgiving.

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