Any other non-drinkers?
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lannebenoit120
Posts: 1 Member
I recently stopped drinking alcohol, partly for weight reasons but for other health reasons too. Now I find when I am in social gatherings where there’s alcohol, I feel self conscious about not drinking and I chow down on more junk food than usual! Then of course the next day, I feel guilty and gross.
Any other non-drinkers here? How do you deal with the social aspect of it?
Any other non-drinkers here? How do you deal with the social aspect of it?
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Replies
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* raises hand
yeah, I don't drink (maybe 3 beers a year). I just don't like it; it's that simple.
when folks learn that I don't drink, they typically assume that it's one of two things.
1. I have a problem with alcohol, I don't.
2. I'm a Bible Thumper, I'm not.
In social settings, I just have something like club soda or a small glass of maybe a Diet Coke.
Thing is, I seriously don't care what people think about my drinking habits (or lack thereof), and if they want to judge me on that, then they aren't worthy of my regard anyway.
I hope this helps. Best of luck.10 -
I went through that when I quit drinking about 9 years ago, also for health reasons. These are the things that have worked for me:
- I always have a drink in my hand- iced tea, soda, ginger ale, water. Some people don't even notice I'm not drinking if I have a drink in my hand. I usually go for caffeine to help stay awake since I don't have the buzz to carry me, but I have to balance that with how I will feel the next day....
- I don't pay attention to my drink or other people's drinks. I just try to be in the moment and loosen up, which is a vibe that matches the environment. Since I used to drink to alleviate some social anxiety, this took practice and time. But again, people don't seem to notice if I find my own personal groove with the moment. (Hovering in front of the food table sounds more like avoidance than being in your groove?)
- Have a planned standard non-defensive answer when people ask why I'm not drinking. Early on, it used to be "I'm driving" or "I don't feel like it" but after all this time, now it's a nonchalant hand wave and a "I haven't drank in years" and that's the end of it.
- Have a planned standard non-defensive answer when people ask why I don't drink. Sometimes people are curious to why- I tell them for health reasons. I think they like to know they aren't being judged or if they have to be weird around booze because I might be an alcoholic.
- Have a planned state of mind and non-defensive response when people act dumbfounded that I don't drink. I let them be uncomfortable- but I don't join them in their discomfort. This can feel really awkward, but I think some people can't imagine their own lives without it. Honestly, that really isn't about me- it's people's problems with themselves. I let them experience their own stuff, but I don't do that for them. That's just good boundaries.
- Accept that social circles may change. People that are really weirded out by it fade away, and the people that don't care stick around. When you are doing something like this that is hard, that's not a bad thing. It may be painful, but it's not bad. If they are strangers, then who cares.
- Ultimately, I offer no apologies for myself (is eating all night also a form of apology that you don't owe anyone?).
- If people don't accept me or if I feel uncomfortable- I know I can always leave. I have a planned response for escaping, too, but I've actually never felt a need to do that.
I hope it goes well for you!
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I don't drink (I tried, I don't like it), and I don't know and don't care what others think about it, if they even do.3
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I don’t drink too none drink liver damage I don’t mind others drinking round me if let friends come too house the drink it don’t both me my health more important I do what’s best for me if want drink zero coke on night it still enjoy I don’t need alcohol too go out you can have gd night with out it least wake up with clear head next day ..... think drinks so over rated used too much in life now ask u self do you really need it too enjoy I self or get by every day x0
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I am an alcoholic and I quit drinking almost 3 months ago. I feel great. Have lost weight and I never have to worry about waking up and wondering what I did last night. I just went to my first social outing last weekend. I drank Perrier while the others had my drink of choice, wine. I was better than I thought I'd be. I saw the others go down hill. I was kind of disgusted by the fact that it use to be me. Anyway, I like being different, healthy and happy. Pride yourself on that and don't care what others think. Your good friends will be totally supportive and the ones who aren't...buh bye. Good luck and stick with it. Your mind, body and soul will be much better off.11
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Try having diet sodas or other drinks instead when other people drink. Often there are alcohol free options too like alcohol free wine. I have gone to a party once with only juice without mixing in the vodka and no one noticed. They just thought I was hella good at mixing drinks since you couldn't even taste the alcohol lol. If everyone else is drunk you just have to act a bit silly and they won't think twice about what you are drinking1
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Not for 32 years, here. I still end up at social occasions once in a while where most are drinking and I am not. Practice in that helps. A nice looking noncaloric non alcoholic drink like sparkling water with ice and lime is a really good prop. Find or take nonlethal snacks too, maybe a veggie tray. Buzzed people are convivial in the pre-sloppy stages and funny if a little sad in the later stages. Knowing I really, genuinely, wholeheartedly do not want to be buzzed for all sorts of good reasons is the key.
Plus, buzzed people are not super observant, they're busy doing them. You do you and you will be fine.3 -
Plus you can get a hella contact high off buzzed people I find, which is a little dangerous for those of us with addictive disorders, but since your reasons for laying off the booze are health and weight related ... relax and enjoy!!0
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I gave up the booze on Christmas day 2017, almost 100 days ago. Since then my energy, productivity, outlook on life and weight loss has rocketed. Its amazing. I was a heavy drinker for over 20 years, for the last 10 years I was drinking every single night. Now I have so many better things to do with my life.
I tackled my alcohol addiction my reconditioning my beliefs on alcohol. It turns out that all the benefits we believe alcohol gives us are a pack of lies. I mean everything!
I'm so excited about my new life I am putting together a website to discuss my experience and help others find the resources I used to get free of the drug.
The site is in it's very early stages right now but check out www.stopdrinkingforgood.com. I intend to have the site properly ready by the end of April but the basics are there.
Honestly folks, give it a try for at least 1 month and see how great you will feel.
Pete6 -
I don't drink for religious reasons. I go to happy hours and social events drinking water and diet sodas. No one cares. I have a great time and drive myself home if it starts getting sloppy.5
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I stopped drinking socially in over a year, partly due to focusing on loosing weight and partly due to just being bored/sick of it. Honestly I have lost friends because of it and I am completely fine with that, I don't want to be with people who need alcohol or have to go to bars every weekend to have fun.
But when I am at social events like weddings or what not I just drink water. I think of it this way, Id rather look good and feel good rather than feel like *kitten* the next day because to me time is precious.
Now I may have a glass of nice whiskey a few times a year but that's because I enjoy it rather than just going out to have fun.3 -
I didn’t drink for several years, a big weight loss help. Now I’m kinda like Tankiscool, I have about 1 drink a month. Doesn’t interest me much. There are a lot of times living a healthy lifestyle when we just have to go our own way.
Bring your own, diet soda, seltzer, no alcohol beer, anything that works. Set yourself up away from the snacks. Or, bring your own.
Toughen up. Weight loss can require a thick skin sometimes.2 -
I'm not teetotal but it's very rare that I drink, maybe a few times a year at most. I generally just avoid the social events, although I am a fan of Seedlip as a G&T replacement (virtually no calories with diet tonic, as well)! I think there's also alcohol-free vermouth available on Amazon, AND cocktail bars will often make mocktails (though they will obviously have a certain number of calories). There are choices out there1
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I've never been much of a drinker, and it's never bothered me or hindered me socially. My parents can't drink much either and it's never been an issue for them either, so I suppose I grew up thinking it's normal not to drink around drinkers. My parents used to throw a lot of parties at our house and it was always amusing to see others drink to excess while my parents just had a good time drinking water and sodas.
Anyway, I do what my parents used to do - just drink water and have fun having conversation and listening to music and what not. Ironically, I married a guy who can drink a lot. He's toned down a lot since being with me though.1 -
I'm not a drinker, never have been. I never liked the taste, and saw my exhusband throw his life away for it. My bff doesn't drink either, so it's never been an issue for me really. If someone offers to buy me a drink, I get a soda.2
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i dont like drink alcohol.....not my taste. not sexy2
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I’ve also recently cut down on alcohol. I haven’t stopped completely because honestly I really enjoy beer but I try to limit myself to one or two. And typically when I’m drinking a lot, it’s cheap beer, so I figured I’d rather save those calories for actual food or good beer.
So far I haven’t had anyone really question it. When I do drink, I pace myself a lot more so a single beer may last me 30 minutes where as before it lasted 5.1 -
Never drank alcohol. The tastes just repulses me and the few sips I have had have made me gag. Could be psychological could be physical but I am not eager to find out.It has never bothered me the not drinking. I have a water, soda or a juice when others have a drink. When I was a student my friends joked I got drunk on orange juice. Basically meaning I just go with the flow. I know what I encounter and to be honest in those days it meant I took care of a fair few friends when things were getting a little out of control
I'd go on pub-crawls with my mates. Always knew where we'd ended up and who with whom. People checked with me stating "please tell me I did/didn't do xyz" It was great fun. I mean really I always knew that it was me that was having the fun vs the alcohol.
I never ended up eating much junk because I'd have so much other stuff to drink, I still had a great time going out (really alcohol is highly overrated there) and I loved to party at times.
These days no partying as I grew out of it. I still don't drink and I still prefer being sober, in control and having lots of fun.1 -
@lannebenoit120 there’s an organization called Better Drinking Culture that you might find helpful.
https://betterdrinkingculture.org2 -
I have never been an alcohol drinker really. I have not found in my adult life that anyone cared that I was not drinking alcohol.
I just get a non-alcoholic drink I enjoy to sip and chat like anyone. I don't park myself next to the snacks.
I don't go to bars or hang out with people whose goal is to get drunk. I don't tell others what to do but I don't enjoy being around drunk people or super loud places. I have a mix of friends who drink and don't drink I guess.1
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