Where do I go from here? How do I get there?

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Sissy4EverX3
Sissy4EverX3 Posts: 247
in Chit-Chat
Three weeks ago, I filed for divorce from my husband of 10 years. He was my 3rd boyfriend and the first real serious relationship I'd had.

I am scared to death. Obviously, I'm taking time just for me now.. I work a full-time job, I go to school a little over half-time and I'm working on concentrating on losing weight. This is my me time now.... but what about after? I mean, should I even be worrying about that yet?

All I know is I feel lost. I want to surround myself with friends and family... but I also want to strangle and spit on them. I want new friends. People who don't know about my past. People who wouldn't care if they did. I have no idea how to go about finding them. I've basically been a recluse my entire life. Working with the public in gas stations for 13 years helped me come out of my shell some. But for the most part, I'm still 16 years old, fat, and constantly hearing "Shammoooooooo!" following me down a hallway.

I know I'm not that person anymore. I look at my profile and see the happiness & confidence radiating from my smile (especially since it's my 52lb loss pic)... I see the beautiful person that's always been there that's finally coming out. And I worry that no one else will ever see it. And if by some chance they do, I'm scared I'll run far, far away for fear of them only taking pity on me.

Ugh!! I hate this feeling. :sad:

Replies

  • forkeeps
    forkeeps Posts: 79 Member
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    First thing I HIGHLY recommend is finding a Divorce Recovery type group. I LOVED the DivorceCare one. It's offered all over the place and it really helps you get your head and heart straight after a divorce. You can Google it to find more information. Just as with weight loss, it helps to have someone else to talk to who knows exactly what you're going through.
  • BobertC
    BobertC Posts: 123
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    Divorce sucks, I almost was faced with it at the end of last year. I hope you find the happiness and support you are looking for. great job on your journey to being fit
  • Sissy4EverX3
    Sissy4EverX3 Posts: 247
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    First thing I HIGHLY recommend is finding a Divorce Recovery type group. I LOVED the DivorceCare one. It's offered all over the place and it really helps you get your head and heart straight after a divorce. You can Google it to find more information. Just as with weight loss, it helps to have someone else to talk to who knows exactly what you're going through.

    I checked it out. There's a group starting here next week. Definitely going to go. Thank you for the information!

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