Are You Here Because Your Life Is At Stake?

A lot of different kinds of folks pass through this board. I want to address this to people who have logged on here because they feel like their lives are at risk due to their weight. Mine was.

I weighed 285lbs. I had HBP, at CPAP, debilitating back pain, and what seemed like a permanent cough. I could see 300lbs in easy reach. We had 2 little kids at home. I was going to leave 2 little kids with no dad. Who would do that? Folks will say you have to lose weight for yourself. Maybe so. But raising my kids was about both me and them and what kind of person I was going to be.

A digression. CPAP saved my life. I would have never turned this around without clear headed thinking and I could not think without sleep.

For a long time I didn’t even allow myself to think seriously about weight loss. I fantasized about weighing less. But I never thought about real action because of fear of failure. If I tried and failed, I would have to give up my comforting fantasy. Fantasy seemed better to me than trying. But I when I got scared enough I finally got down to making a plan.

First thing was I had to admit that I couldn’t do weight loss and drink alcohol. My favorite pastime was wining and dining. And it wasn’t just the empty calories. There was a whole “to heck with it” drinking mindset. It had to go.

So I made my first crazy weight loss plan. Get a stationary bike. Run away to a cabin in the north woods with just enough food to get through the winter. The good part- I could see it would work. Bad part- my wife wouldn’t go for it. So I made another plan. Get a stationary bike, put it in the spare bedroom on the second floor of our house, never leave the second floor of the house. Good- I could see it working.
Bad- my wife wouldn’t go for it.

Then came a realization that changed everything. In a few minutes I had come up with 2 plans to lose weight that I thought would work. But both plans had fatal flaws. Why? The plans solved the wrong problem. The problem was not just losing weight. The problem was living my life while losing weight. (All this was years before Biggest Loser.)

So I did get the stationary bike. And I did give up alcohol. And I did give up big wining and dining bashes. And in about 18 months I lost about 65 lbs by coming straight home after work and getting on that bike to watch TV. And my “workouts” were not much. My first day I lasted 8 minutes. 8 minutes. But eventually I was up to 20-30 minutes 5 days per week. Saturday, when I had more time, was a long walk. Not much calorie burning but a good habit nonetheless.

Another digression. At 10% down I bought a new suit. Game changer. Don’t reward yourself with food. Ever. Find a way to work on your appearance. Tangible evidence of change right there in the mirror. Don’t think its a waste unless you wait to get to goal. We’re in for the long haul. Firm steps set up the next step.

But then I got stuck at about 215-220 lbs. And I stayed stuck there a long time until the day I discovered tracking, aka Food Diary on MFP. Actually I learned tracking at Weight Watchers. Not a plug, just an indication of my desperation at that point. I had read somewhere that writing down what you eat was the most effective weight loss tool. Turns out that was right. Tracking is an affirmative act, a thing to do. The only way not to do it is to decide not to. Track. But track every day no matter what, good, bad or ugly. You are never “off” your plan when tracking. The process is more important than the numbers.

Folks log on here, say they are looking for motivation to lose and start in talking about the gym. Lots of great stuff about the gym. I’ve spent a lot of time there. But weight loss takes place in the kitchen. I did learn incrementalism in the gym. See for yourself. Whatever your workout, just keep at it and little by little you will see results. You can reverse engineer that in weight loss. (Those workouts I started with filled in the time and were stress relief. Don’t get caught up trading exercise for more food.)

To lose significant amounts of weight we need a livable, sustainable downward trend. There is no magic eating formula. It’s calories in and calories out but the emphasis should be on calories in. Try to get any schedule for losing weight out of your head. Look at time in no less than 3 month blocks and aim for a down pointing trend. The best plan is a plan you can actually live with. A strict food austerity program will likely come back and bite you.

Watch out for your own brain. Your brain will wreck you if you let it. It’s not on purpose. Our brains hate change, maybe weight loss in particular. Monitor your own thinking and push back against negativity. A moderate calorie deficit over time will actually work. You just need to tolerate the time factor.

I mistakenly thought that to lose weight I’d have to miss out on a lot of fun. That I’d be on the outside looking in. I had it backwards, weight loss is liberation.

I wrote this post because I want people who are in serious trouble to have hope. We only get one life. You don't need to suffer through it because of your weight. I know you can do this because I did it. I tried to tell a faithful account of my experience, wackiness and all, so you can see there’s nothing special in it except maybe tenacity. I’ve mentioned before on here that my goal is to change the name of this board from Motivation to Determination. It’s doable. Be determined. Be willing to experiment and adjust. Never quit.

SW 285lbs
GW 184lbs as of 9/2006
CW 174lbs