Feeling really alone in this

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DeathWish
DeathWish Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
Hey everybody,

So I joined MFP about five days ago and I've found it a really helpful tool. I've been struggling with my weight for quite a few years and I'm happy to know there's finally a community I can turn to for support. And... I guess that's what this is about.

I live with two people who have the opposite of a weight problem. My boyfriend is naturally slender - he lives a very stationary lifestyle (he's a software developer) and doesn't bother to eat healthy (mostly carbs and fat). My roommate is 5'1 and weighs less than 100 pounds. She works in a pastry shop/deli and eats mostly cake, bread and sausage without putting on a pound. The only exercise she does is walking from the bus stop to the house.

The other night I was having a nice glass of water for dessert (ha, ha, ha) when my boyfriend sits down beside me with a huge heaping bowl of creamsicle ice cream. Of course I love ice cream! And here I am torturing myself to cut down on night time snacking and cutting back on sugars and he's basically waving it in my face. His defense of course, is that -he- likes ice cream and should be allowed to eat it. I agree, I'm not going to stop him, but does it have to be like that?

The next night I went for a run, but I'm not seeing results very quickly from my exercise and I was feeling down about myself. My roommate starts walking around the house in nothing but her bra and some shorts! Her perfect slim body made me feel awful about myself. I know I shouldn't compare but how can I not when she's parading it around?

Maybe I'm being a drama queen, I don't know. But I feel like I can't turn to anyone, and no one sympathizes. It's making me lose hope and wonder what's the point of trying so hard when they do nothing and stay exactly the same.

Help?

Replies

  • lcoreo5
    lcoreo5 Posts: 216 Member
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    do not feel down about yourself! i know its hard when you have thin people around you... but do this for you. you will feel better about yourself in the long run! your bf and your roommate may be thin, but they clearly arent healthy. im very proud of you for taking the leap and joining the site!! :) just stay focused on your goals and you will get there! this is a great community and you will get tons of support! i have had a great success since i joined this site and i feel more motivated than ever. im going to send you a friend request and we can cheer eachother on! :) keep up the great work! :)
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
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    First things first, you are doing this for you (I assume and/or hope). Secondly, (and unfortunately) it takes time. Third, (and best) there are plenty of positive, encouraging, helpful friends here on mfp going through the same thing (or something similar) as you. Best of luck!
  • luckyduck768
    luckyduck768 Posts: 40 Member
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    It's definitely hard to see that! I know many people who eat whatever they want, but don't pack on anything. I, however, eat a 1/2 a cupcake and I blimp out! (at least that's how I feel sometimes) :) The trick I have been learning is to try not to compare to others. Realize this is going to be a long-ish journey and we won't be expecting changes overnight, or even /drastic/ changes in a week. If we do, then we will likely gain those back. Go for HEALTHY, not necessarily smaller. Often these coincide, but not always :)
  • soontobeskinnysara
    soontobeskinnysara Posts: 177 Member
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    Don't give up! It's healthy to only lose about a pound a week. I totally understand wanting immediate results, but it's just not realistic. Every one is built differently, and I wish I could eat cake and weigh 100lbs, but I've come to accept that losing weight will be a challenge. It takes discipline, motivation, and the understanding that it won't happen overnight. Hang in there, it will get better! I promise!
  • mommyoftwins05
    mommyoftwins05 Posts: 645 Member
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    I know how you feel.. My fiancee won't stop eating junk food either.. and half the time he asks me to grab it for him. You gotta just stay strong :)

    I can't believe she parades around like that..

    But anyways I'll add ya and I'll be here whenever you need me
  • DeathWish
    DeathWish Posts: 9
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    Thanks for your help everyone! It's so reassuring to know that people here understand my struggle.

    I guess I have a question though... is there a way to politely ask them not to be so... flaunting, I guess? I mean, they are who they are, and I am who I am, but sometimes I feel like they're being oblivious to my feelings. I work full time and am out of the house all day. Is it ridiculous of me to ask them to keep it out of my sight? Just until I start feeling better and get into the routine of eating healthy. Right now I'm still in the phase of missing all the junk food I'm cutting out!
  • smarionette
    smarionette Posts: 260 Member
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    First off, if you want a some ice cream have it. Just out of a teacup, and record it. Slow down when you eat it. You'll feel better for it.
    Secondly, stop beating yourself up about weight issues. They happen. My sister and brother in law both are on diets saying they need to eat more to be healthy. Being thin DOES NOT equal being healthy
    Thirdly, as has been said - It takes time. Short of surgery or serious illness, weight loss is a long term goal. Start small. Look at your portions, look at what you eat, record for a day or two what you eat without thinking about it along with WHY you are eating.

    Don't go to extremes, don't weigh yourself every day if it causes anxiety, go ahead and tell your room mate to put a damn shirt on, and just take it one day at a time.
  • macjazz
    macjazz Posts: 1
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    We are all different... comparing yourself to others is a bad thing.... stick with it, hang in there, the weight did not go on overnight, it will not come off overnight. I think the longer you rely upon just doing what is right, regardless if it is easy or the same as your friends, acquaintances, or lovers, the better off you will be. The key is NOT GIVING UP. Everyone is not the same, in everything, the same is NOT equal. All are equal, All are NOT the same. All are the same, and ALL are NOT equal. Both statements are true. As I said, the key is NOT Giving Up!
  • lcoreo5
    lcoreo5 Posts: 216 Member
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    I guess I have a question though... is there a way to politely ask them not to be so... flaunting, I guess? I mean, they are who they are, and I am who I am, but sometimes I feel like they're being oblivious to my feelings. I work full time and am out of the house all day. Is it ridiculous of me to ask them to keep it out of my sight? Just until I start feeling better and get into the routine of eating healthy. Right now I'm still in the phase of missing all the junk food I'm cutting out!

    you could definitely ask them, but at the same time, there are thin people everywhere flaunting what they have. its just something we all need to look past and look at what we want for ourselves... just another obstacle we all have to overcome. just think that there is that person you want to be inside you and with a lot of work and dedication, she will come out and then you too can flaunt what you got! :)
  • meowthania
    meowthania Posts: 76
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    Hello,

    I too understand your position - my husband also is a big fan of junk food, and is consistently underweight. Today, for example, he sat next to me on the couch, eating cheetos and ice cream after we had dinner.

    Feel free to add me - we can vent at each other and support each other.

    My battle with weight has been a 12 year war. I'm finally starting to see the end at the light of the tunnel.

    Chin up, and soldier on!

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