LADIES.....Overcoming body image issues.....how did you do it?

Gngr09
Gngr09 Posts: 743 Member
in Motivation and Support
One of my biggest issues I have is that I am entirely self conscious of my body. The Ex didn't help with that at all.
BUT - I did have two babies a while back and even though they are the best gifts I have ever received - each of them left me with scars and stretch marks and lots of sagging skin.

I know everyone says to love your body - but being newly single....... this is a huge issue for me.

How did you overcome that and/or what did you do to help tone it up.

Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • mazcor536
    mazcor536 Posts: 115 Member
    Go somewhere where you see people (the beach/swimming pool etc) and be conscious of your own attitudes and thoughts when you look around you. Say you see someone with a bit of a roll and some impressive stretch marks. Do you mentally recoil in disgust? Or do you not really think much of it? You see someone enjoying themselves and fair play to them. That’s what the vast majority of other people think when they see you! As soon as you recognise that your judgement of others is far less than your judgement of yourself, you can try and let it go and not worry so much!
  • rockymir
    rockymir Posts: 497 Member
    I haven't overcome a single thing on body image issues, they're pretty stuck in my head.
    But there is something that has been beneficial overall and that was moving away from a sport where the point is looking good (bodybuilding) to a sport where the point is being faster than anyone else (triathlon).
  • andreaen
    andreaen Posts: 365 Member
    Fake it until you make it. Tell yourself every day in the mirror that you are good enough, it sounds cheesy, and you are going to feel like an idiot for a few weeks, then you start believing it and it actually works! Also never say anything negative about yourself either to yourself or to other people, and don't brush any compliments away.
  • Green_Faerie
    Green_Faerie Posts: 21 Member
    I'm a believer in doing the best with what's given. I've had bad acne since I was a preteen, got severe stretch marks, loose skin, and a c-section shelf from my pregnancies (mainly my first-I think I gained about 90 pounds). It took me about 3 years after both pregancies before my body felt like 'mine' again.
    I find those periods where I'm taking the best care of myself (eating right, staying well hydrated, working out, 'superficial' things like making a point to keep myself well-groomed and dressed pretty, ) are when my flaws bother me less-part of it is I may genuinely look better, the other is the psychological component of investing physical energy into the idea 'I'm worth it'.
    I'm never going to look like I did before I got pregnant, even with surgery. But I'm okay with that. As life changes, so do we, but we have to push to make those changes for the better.

    XoxoX
  • MessyApron
    MessyApron Posts: 206 Member
    Learning to be conscious of my self-talk was helpful. The way I was talking to myself was inexcusably vicious; I would never speak to a friend the way I did to myself, and I wouldn't be friends with anyone who would put me down like that. Everytime I notice my inner *kitten* being snide I take a moment to reframe those thoughts into something positive.

    It took some time to learn to do this reflexively, and it'll probably always be a work in progress, but this practice has made a noticeable difference in my confidence, self-esteem, and self-compassion.

    Hope this helps!
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,267 Member
    To tone up I use cardio and weight lifting. Nothing fancy.
    As far as body issues I'm sorry that your ex was not supportive as far as your beautiful body and the children you created. Remember that you are amazing and you grew humans inside you. Sometimes we forget that. Our bodies need time to recover. Now that you are ready to make the change just keep telling yourself you are worthy of this and you got this. No one can do this for you but you and YOU deserve it!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I hate that this is external especially as so many of the other comments here are much deeper and better.
    But the biggest thing that helped me was to start dating men who genuinely prefer my body type rather than men who are willing to "settle for" my body type.
  • Kathryn247
    Kathryn247 Posts: 570 Member
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  • goatg
    goatg Posts: 1,399 Member
    Kathryn247 wrote: »
    75a266xnc5yr.jpg

    Lmao
  • lliinnsseeyy
    lliinnsseeyy Posts: 1,691 Member
    I realised that beauty is in attitude not the body. I found that the more I smiled and allowed myself to be completely me - with all my quirks - people were more attracted to me. My social circle grew and I met my soon to be husband who loves my flaws. Try working on the inside and then it’ll shine through you like sunbeams :)
  • VioletRojo
    VioletRojo Posts: 597 Member
    I stopped focusing on what my body looked like, and instead focused on what my body could do. My body is an amazing thing. It can run marathons, lift heavy weights, move furniture, hike for miles and miles...
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    A young lady once told me that the OTC product Mederma would help cause scars to vanish. Maybe it does. I've never used it. The only reason I pass it on is that when my wife first met her, she (my wife) was outraged that I worked with someone so beautiful. I didn't hire her. Geez. Women.
  • saragd012
    saragd012 Posts: 693 Member
    VioletRojo wrote: »
    I stopped focusing on what my body looked like, and instead focused on what my body could do. My body is an amazing thing. It can run marathons, lift heavy weights, move furniture, hike for miles and miles...

    This. It took me a long time to realize that what I see in the mirror was not the same thing other people see when they look at me, and it wont ever be. I think that is true for a lot of women. So instead I had to make the decision not to focus on how my body looks, and instead focus on what it can DO. Obviously some days are harder than others, but on bad days I try to think of all the things I can offer the world, and how I look is so much less important than how I treat people. Also, when I think of the most beautiful people in my life, and even the celebrities I tend to find memorable, it's people that I believe to be kind/funny/caring people. The way they look is pretty darn low on the list of reasons I find them attractive, and I like to believe that most other people think in similar ways.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    JeromeBarry1 wrote: »
    A young lady once told me that the OTC product Mederma would help cause scars to vanish. Maybe it does. I've never used it. The only reason I pass it on is that when my wife first met her, she (my wife) was outraged that I worked with someone so beautiful. I didn't hire her. Geez. Women.

    Men can be like that too. My husband is not generally a vain or jealous man, but ever since he met my coworker who plays a lot of soccer and is quite fit, he's had a different attitude about the guy! It makes me laugh as I'm not attracted to my coworker but understand my husband's view of him changed when he realized he wasn't a pasty IT drone or redneck type.

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