Sabotaged a relationship Currently about to let go and give up

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TeachergirlCeleste
TeachergirlCeleste Posts: 66 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am not sure why I can not put a handle on my life! I have called therapy to see if I can come in to talk to someone but no one picked up. I will try to call back later. I need help and looking for someone to talk with and this is my last resort. My family will not listen and nor my friends. I have no one else.

Everything was going steady but I started to feel insecure after engaging in sex with him. I try my best to avoid sex in every relationship because my feelings get too invested. I was celibate for awhile but made the decision to give it away to him. I suddenly started to feel insecure. I felt as if he was ignoring me and he was pursuing other women when he then told me he's having family issues and that I need to calm down. Well, I flew off the handle today and said some things that should have never been said. He went off on me and blocked my number and social media.

He isn't the first guy to do the to me. I am ready to stop acting crazy and getting angry and saying things that I do not mean.

I want to speak with him again but I am too emotional and upset to apologize. I decided to wait some weeks before I call or message him again. I need space from him and he needs space from me.

I failed a course and my grad program and I am not performing well at work. I should be happy because I lost 35 pounds and currently almost out of 300 pounds! I received a job promotion and currently have an interview with two work from home companies.

I need help and understanding that this is temporary! I missed a doctor appointment today where I was supposed to obtain lab results to determine if I have PCOS and an ultrasound.

I am sorry if I am posting repeated issues. I just have no one else to talk to and I feel like life is so hard right now

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,944 Member
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    Sorry you're in angst.

    Unfortunately a lot of people get spooked after casual sex.

    You can't change the way he's acting. You can choose not to let this happen again by not getting physical with someone unless you are certain it is a serious relationship. You seem to have proved this to yourself more than once, right? It took me a while to learn this one, but I did learn it finally.

    I don't think we are designed for serial casual intimacy. It's painful when we are abandoned or ignored afterwards, so it's best for me to be very cautious in that way.

    You'll survive this but it hurts in the beginning. Can you call a friend or go outside for a brisk walk? That always helps me.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,130 Member
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    concordancia wrote: »
    Take a deep breath. Now another.

    Now take a look at your priorities. You need to to be in a healthy place before you go pursuing romantic relationships.

    This is without a doubt some of the best advice you have received, you need to be comfortable and happy on your own first before you can truly feel comfortable and happy with someone else.

    Seek some professional help to get to the root of your depression and find some coping methods to help deal with it. Check out depression/anxiety support groups in your country/area, there is often a freephone number or online chat service.
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
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    Just because you sleep with someone does not give you the right to control them. Chill out a bit, a relationship needs give and take, trust too. It sounds like you go into panic mode and suffocate a new plant before it has a chance to take take root and grow. Be calm and reflect.
  • catherineroberts87
    catherineroberts87 Posts: 27 Member
    edited April 2018
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    You do however need to focus on yourself, get yourself happy and healthy before considering another relationship. Insecurity in relationships is a recipe for disaster I’ve been there myself. YOU WILL BE OK WItHOUT A GUY. You do not need a guy to make you feel valued all you need is to value yourself. Make sure you get those results from gp, there might be an underlying reason for your outbursts..hormonal issues maybe...but get yourself sorted. If he’s blocked you forget it and move on.

    Keep going with the weight loss! You’ve done well and don’t let this derail you from getting healthy! You seem to have other areas of your life going well so focus on that and be proud of yourself!
  • ladylilly7
    ladylilly7 Posts: 14 Member
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    wow, there are alot of mean people on here. Hun it sounds like you may have a mental disorder, Talk to a dr, you may need meds. I have high anxiety and ptsd, and use to sound just like you did here. After getting the help i needed im doing much better now in a committed relationship for 2 years. if you need a friend add me, but dont let others get to you. Please seek help with a dr as well though
  • Marilyn0924
    Marilyn0924 Posts: 797 Member
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    I'm sorry that you are hurting so deeply. I hope you are able to get the assistance you need to help sort things out.

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